National Nightmare

Golden oldie from America's finest news source:

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

"After eight years of relatively sane fiscal policy under the Democrats, we have reached a point where, just a few weeks ago, President Clinton said that the national debt could be paid off by as early as 2012," Rahway, NJ, machinist and father of three Bud Crandall said. "That's not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in."

Could Big Time Do Some Hard Time?

"WASHINGTON, Oct. 24 - I. Lewis Libby Jr., Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff, first learned about the C.I.A. officer at the heart of the leak investigation in a conversation with Mr. Cheney weeks before her identity became public in 2003, lawyers involved in the case said Monday.

Notes of the previously undisclosed conversation between Mr. Libby and Mr. Cheney on June 12, 2003, appear to differ from Mr. Libby's testimony to a federal grand jury that he initially learned about the C.I.A. officer, Valerie Wilson, from journalists, the lawyers said."

Alright, take a deep breath.

This is definitely bad news for Scooter, since his perjury is now so obvious that even the media is pointing it out. And, as we know, the media is always the last one to speak out in a way that might be construed as being critical of the Bush administration. (As I type this, Daryn Kagan, a.k.a the Woman Who Sees Rush Limbaugh Naked, is on CNN doing her best to defend Scooter and his boss.)

What this means for Cheney isn't clear. If true, it certainly contradicts the many public statements he's made about not knowing anything about Joe Wilson and his wife. If Cheney made the same claims before the grand jury, then that might seem to indicate that he too committed perjury, as suggested here. I think there's a possibility that Big Time could soon be doing hard time, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

But, oh, it's tough.

Unb-ELI-evable

OK boys. Some of you sportscasters and sports analysts types need to take a cold shower on the "Eli Manning man love" you got going on. Yes, he is young and you have won some games; but come on, he hasn't turned water to wine or perished for our sins quite yet.

According to ESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski, Eli has brought meaning to the life of a 89 year old and sparked the biggest city in the world to come to life.

Manning has a chance to take New York now, the way a quarterback hasn't taken it since Joe Namath. The Yankees and Mets are long gone, the Jets are a mess and
the Knicks are destined for the draft lottery. Manning has a chance to be a star in New York, where the football landscape is desperate for one.

You know, Phil Simms, who has won a Super Bowl, may take an issue with the "times have been tough since Broadway Joe" storyline. Also, I'm not a Yankee or Met fan either, but this isn't really a drought since they have been to, or won, the World Series. Hell, they both played against each other in one not too long ago.

Actually, this post is also an excuse to show this picture (probably from college) of Eli (future Joe Namath) and some blond trouble (future Susie Kolber). I am jealous on so many levels. So many levels. So many. So.....

The Road Less Traveled

The NY Daily News is reporting that Bush is feeling mighty alone, but still is convinced he is not to blame. While the evil doing (and free) press remains the recipient of the majority of his tirades, apparently staffers (high and low) are now experiencing the brunt of His wrath.

Bush is so dismayed that "the only person escaping blame is the President himself," said a sympathetic official, who delicately termed such self-exoneration "illogical."

Bush's strength all along has been his faith in his staff and the American people really seem(ed) to respect his "strength" of character in standing beside those staffers who have failed, even those who have failed miserably.

With this last trace of what got Bush elected the second time gone, the administration's fall from grace will start sliding even faster. With 2006 elections, this Titanic sinking is going to more resemble a plane crash.

"This is not some manager at McDonald's chewing out the help," said a source
with close ties to the White House when told about these outbursts. "This is the
President of the United States, and it's not a pleasant sight."

Hypocritical Oath

The indictments haven't even been handed down, but it seems the Swift Boating of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald has already begun:

WASHINGTON, Oct. 23 - With a decision expected this week on possible indictments in the C.I.A. leak case, allies of the White House suggested Sunday that they intended to pursue a strategy of attacking any criminal charges as a disagreement over legal technicalities or the product of an overzealous prosecutor. ...

On Sunday, Republicans appeared to be preparing to blunt the impact of any charges. Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, Republican of Texas, speaking on the NBC news program "Meet the Press," compared the leak investigation with the case of Martha Stewart and her stock sale, "where they couldn't find a crime and they indict on something that she said about something that wasn't a crime."

Ms. Hutchison said she hoped "that if there is going to be an indictment that says something happened, that it is an indictment on a crime and not some perjury technicality where they couldn't indict on the crime and so they go to something just to show that their two years of investigation was not a waste of time and taxpayer dollars."

Funny. Back when President Bill Clinton was impeached on what many people claimed was "some perjury technicality" meant to show that the Republicans' seven years of investigation were not a waste of time and taxpayer dollars -- about $60 million -- Kay Bailey Hutchinson had a much different view. In her mind back then, perjury was a serious, serious problem:

Lying is a moral wrong. Perjury is a lie told under oath that is legally wrong. To be illegal, the lie must be willfully told, must be believed to be untrue, and must relate to a material matter. Title 18, Section 1621 and 1623, U.S. Code.

If President Washington, as a child, had cut down a cherry tree and lied about it, he would be guilty of 'lying,' but would not be guilty of 'perjury.'

If, on the other hand, President Washington, as an adult, had been warned not to cut down a cherry tree, but he cut it down anyway, with the tree falling on a man and severely injuring or killing him, with President Washington stating later under oath that it was not he who cut down the tree, that would be 'perjury.' Because it was a material fact in determining the circumstances of the man's injury or death.

Some would argue that the President in the second example should not be impeached because the whole thing is about a cherry tree, and lies about cherry trees, even under oath, though despicable, do not rise to the level of impeachable offenses under the Constitution. I disagree.

The perjury committed in the second example was an attempt to impede, frustrate, and obstruct the judicial system in determining how the man was injured or killed, when, and by whose hand, in order to escape personal responsibility under the law, either civil or criminal. Such would be an impeachable offense. To say otherwise would be to severely lower the moral and legal standards of accountability that are imposed on ordinary citizens every day. The same standard should be imposed on our leaders.

Nearly every child in America believes that President Washington, as a child himself, did in fact cut down the cherry tree and admitted to his father that he did it, saying simply: 'I cannot tell a lie.'

I will not compromise this simple but high moral principle in order to avoid serious consequences to a successor President who may choose to ignore it.

...

If only the President had followed the simple, high moral principle handed to us by our Nation's first leader as a child and had said early in this episode 'I cannot tell a lie,' we would not be here today. We would not be sitting in judgment of a President. We would not be invoking those provisions of the Constitution that have only been applied once before in our Nation's history.

But we should all be thankful that our Constitution is there, and we should take pride in our right and duty to enforce it. A hundred years from now, when history looks back to this moment, we can hope for a conclusion that our Constitution has been applied fairly and survives, that we have come to principled judgments about matters of national importance, and that the rule of law in American has been sustained.

So, perjury is a serious matter when the lies are about a blow job, but not that important when the lies are about outing a covert CIA operative and damaging our national security capabilities.

Got it.

The Fall Guy

As Josh Marshall points out over at TPM, it's looking more and more like the White House is preparing to make Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby the fall guy in the Plame scandal.

As seen in this convenient LA Times article, people close to the administration have been leaking materials to make it clear that Libby was really the one with the Fatal Attraction obsession with Joe Wilson and that if anyone's to blame for boiling his bunny outing his CIA operative wife, then it's him. Everyone else -- like say, poor innocent Karl Rove or Cheney or even Bush himself -- why they were just caught up in the wake of that powermad Libby. I mean, how could they resist the might of a grown man named Scooter?

Reminds me of Nixon trying to pin it all on Dean, and then Ehrlichman and Haldeman. How did that turn out again?

Friday Random Ten

There is so much wrong with this album cover, I just don't know where to begin.

First of all, it doesn't look like a very happy birthday for our girl Julie. She's in a dive bar -- not faux-dive, but real dive -- and, not surprisingly, she's none too happy. And, second, if Julie's only just now turning sixteen, then what in God's name is she doing with this middle-aged Daniel Stern lookalike? (The only way this pairing makes sense is if this is a screen shot from Home Alone 4: Sixteen Candles.) And third, if Daniel Stern is breaking up with her, how come he's the one who gets the beer and cigarette? She's getting dumped by a middle-aged loser. Jesus. Help soften the blow, buddy.


So many questions, so little time. I guess that means it's time to move on to the Friday Random Ten.

You know the routine by now. Open up your iTunes or imitationTunes, set it on random, and give us the first ten songs that pop up. If you're feeling up to it, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit. (Last week, Special Guest Star Pete Smith offered a suitable ranking scale. Use it -- if you dare.)

Alright, here's my ten:

1. Loretta Lynn, "Out of My Head and Back in My Bed" -- Not really as feminist or feisty as some of her other stuff, but a rollickin' enough tune. 6/10

2. James Brown, "Give It Up or Turnit a Loose (Remix)" -- This is, without a doubt, the best song that JB ever recorded. No, better than the one you're thinking of. And much better than the other one. This is off the In the Jungle Groove LP, and it's a scorching version. There's a point about four minutes in where he stops the rest of the band and lets drummer Clyde Stubblefield and bassist Bootsy Collins loose for an amazing minute of pure, undiluted funk. If there were ever a perfect ten, this song is it. 10/10

3. Phil Flowers and the Flower Shop, "Like a Rolling Stone" -- This is an uptempo soul version of the Dylan classic. Lots of horns, lots of screaming, lots of backup vocals, and somehow it works. 7/10

4. Gang Starr, "Take Two and Pass" -- In the spirit of Chris Tucker's rant from Friday -- "Puff, puff, give! Puff, puff, give! You're fuckin' up the rotation!" -- this is a classic Gang Starr tune dedicated to the fine art of cannabis circulation. Guru's a little subdued on this one, but maybe he was just practicing what he was preaching. 8/10

5. Snoop Doggy Dogg, "St. Ides in the LBC" -- Yet another one of the St. Ides classic ads. Not as great as some of the Ice Cube ones, but still pretty cool for the rarity. If you're the kind of degenerate who likes these sort of things, they're all available at this site. 6/10

6. Danger Doom, "Mince Meat" -- The long-awaited combination of two of hiphop's rising stars, Danger Mouse and MF Doom, this CD was going to have a hard time living up to expectations. And it is, in fact, a bit of a letdown. 6/10

7. The Gories, "There But for the Grace of God Go I" -- The Gories were a short-lived garage-rock trio from the early '90s. This is a great example of their sound -- raw, driving, and surprisingly catchy. Hard to believe that this was originally a soul/disco hit from 1979, since it sounds so perfect in the garage-grunge mold. I guess if you distort the guitars enough, it all sounds garagish. Yes, that's a real word. Look it up. 9/10

8. The Circle Jerks, "When the Shit Hits the Fan" -- A selection from the Repo Man soundtrack. Certainly not the best song on the soundtrack, and certainly not the best Circle Jerks tune. The best part, in fact, is the title. Eh. 5/10

9. Yo La Tengo, "You Can Have It All" -- A great tune from the kings (and queen) of Hoboken's indie rock scene, taken off the excellent CD And Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out. It would be a cop out to simply refer to their music as dreamy, but then again, I'm a lazy, lazy man. 8/10

10. Willie Bobo, "Fried Neck Bones and Some Home Fries (Dan the Automator Remix)" -- A nice selection from one of the excellent Verve Remixed discs. Here, Dan the Automator (the producer best known as half of Handsome Boy Modeling School) puts a very subtle spin on a classic Latin jazz number. Great stuff. 9/10

That gives me a 7.4 average, once again placing me firmly in the C-range of coolness. Which I suppose is where the cool kids would want to be. When they're not smoking Kools beneath the bleachers, of course.

Alright, you know the drill. Drop your own random ten in the comments below, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit.

Bring it on!

Homeless Protest Mexicans: President Fox, "What the F- Is Going On Up There?!"

ATLANTA, GA - The city that invents ways to further humiliate itself.

According to the Atlanta Journal/Constitution, at a rally held to demand deportation of illegal immigrants (shockingly hosted by a white male from the suburbs), 14 homeless people were paid $10 each to hold signs in a crowd of several dozen at the state Capitol.

Yes, they hired people who were homeless probably because the rally was in the middle of the work day and everyone with homes had jobs to attend. This kinda undercuts the "save our jobs by sending home the illegals" argument. Luckily, they were able to find like-minded homeless people. These are people who don't want their handouts shared.

King Mitchell, 28, said he he was paid $10 to hold a placard, but also personally agrees with those who want to clamp down on illegal immigration. Mitchell said he stays at the Gateway Center, an Atlanta homeless shelter.

Unfortunately, this directly contradicts Anthony-Scott "No Spin Zone" Hobbs who is the chairman of the Cobb County Republican Party and the rally's chief organizer, who (oops!) has said he had not hired anyone to attend the rally.

This is unethical and simply wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin. Please comment and help me figure on a scale between simple politics in action to eternal damnation -- Where does this land?

Let Me Eat Cake

If you thought your opinion of FEMA Head Mike Brown couldn't sink any lower, you were wrong.

According to newly released email messages, Brownie couldn't be bothered to listen to the initial reports of chaos and death in New Orleans because he was too busy having his dinner. Keith Olbermann has the goods here.

(As always, thanks to Crooks and Liars.)

Otto's Book Club

Courtesy of a spirited discussion over at TBogg, I see that Time has just put out a list of the Top 100 Best Novels, limited to those written in English and published since Time's founding in 1923. (It's all about Time, apparently. Egocentric bastards.)

Anyway, the list is an interesting one, full of surprises both pleasant (Allan Moore's brilliant graphic novel, The Watchmen) and disturbing (Judy Blume's Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret?). Looking over the list, I saw a lot of my own favorites -- Robert Penn Warren's All the King's Men, Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, George Orwell's Animal Farm, etc. -- but I mostly realized that there were a lot of books there I haven't read or, worse, only read in high school or college as part of an English class. Great novels aren't meant to be crammed into your head at 2am before the midterm, while you're hopped up on more No-Doz than a trucker blaring down I-95. They shouldn't be something you force in between the rest of your schedule, a chore to be completed as quickly as possible. If anything, it should be the other way around. Great novels should be an escape from everything else in your life, a vacation in and of itself. (And yes, I realize I sound like the Reading Is Fundamental campaign.)

Anyway, take a look at the list and drop your thoughts on what's great, what's horrid, and what's missing into the comments below.

Leo, Know the Power of "No"

Veteran rocker Leo Mazzone (Atlanta Braves pitching coach) is in talks with the New York Yankees to become their pitching coach. Mazzone is reported to be making $200,000 a year - peanuts compared to the money he generates by getting consistent pitching performance from the various "retreads" the Braves management consistently parades in front to him.

Now, Leo, I know NY is a grand place, with big city money and pretty ladies. But there is a dark side to the Yankees. You see, it's a cycle of abuse.

Every year, King George spends as he sees fit then blames everyone else when the players don't work out the way he thought (see "tension builds").

Since NY is the media capital of the world, the pressure builds and King George keeps upping the ante - questioning your manhood, your integrity, and your right to "wear the uniform." See "abuse takes place." You are a thief stealing from George. Scum. Not fit for employment with the Devil Rays!!!

So the morning after comes. Those who are part of the co-dependent cycle (see Joe Torre) try to rationalize it - excuse it - hell, they think maybe they could have done better. You see, Joe Torre knows that King George really is a nice guy, if only the rest of us would give him a shot.

"We didn't use the word love, but it was pretty warm," Torre said. "It was something more than cordial."

See "apologies, excuse, amends."

Leo, don't end up another statistic on "Cops." I don't want to see you in a tube top on TV yelling at the police for arresting George after he has beaten you to a pulp. It's not your fault. You have the power to make the right choice. You know the right answer.

The Colbert Report

After much anticipation, the Colbert Report has started churning out the love, and dear God, is it good. I'm sure the three people who watch Adam Carolla's deranged rantings will be sad to see their boy moved back in the line-up, but the Daily Show-Colbert Report combination is gold. ("Gold, Jerry! Gold!")

If you missed the premiere, the good people at Crooks and Liars have you covered. Click here for the video.

Bush League

According to the New York Daily News, President Bush long ago reprimanded Karl Rove for his involvement in the outing of Valerie Plame:

WASHINGTON - An angry President Bush rebuked chief political guru Karl Rove two years ago for his role in the Valerie Plame affair, sources told the Daily News.

"He made his displeasure known to Karl," a presidential counselor told The News. "He made his life miserable about this."

Bush has nevertheless remained doggedly loyal to Rove, who friends and even political adversaries acknowledge is the architect of the President's rise from baseball owner to leader of the free world.

As special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald nears a decision, perhaps as early as today, on whether to issue indictments in his two-year probe, Bush has already circled the wagons around Rove, whose departure would be a grievous blow to an already shell-shocked White House staff and a President in deep political trouble.

Asked if he believed indictments were forthcoming, a key Bush official said he did not know, then added: "I'm very concerned it could go very, very badly."

"Karl is fighting for his life," the official added, "but anything he did was done to help George W. Bush. The President knows that and appreciates that."

Other sources confirmed, however, that Bush was initially furious with Rove in 2003 when his deputy chief of staff conceded he had talked to the press about the Plame leak.

Bush has always known that Rove often talks with reporters anonymously and he generally approved of such contacts, one source said.

But the President felt Rove and other members of the White House damage-control team did a clumsy job in their campaign to discredit Plame's husband, Joseph Wilson, the ex-diplomat who criticized Bush's claim that Saddam Hussen tried to buy weapons-grade uranium in Niger.

A second well-placed source said some recently published reports implying Rove had deceived Bush about his involvement in the Wilson counterattack were incorrect and were leaked by White House aides trying to protect the President.

"Bush did not feel misled so much by Karl and others as believing that they handled it in a ham-handed and bush-league way," the source said.

Well, we can all agree that Turd Blossom certainly handled this in a Bush League way: Over-the-top, below-the-belt, and crude-as-hell. It's par for the course from a group that insinuated that John McCain had an out-of-wedlock baby -- and a black one, too! -- and then had the cojones to mock John Kerry's military service and play up Bush's record of keeping Texas safe from imminent Viet Cong air strikes. Balls as big as church bells, these folks have.

What's more surprising here is the suggestion that Bush knew Rove was involved from the beginning and did nothing about it, except give him one of his patented pouty scowls. Apparently, all those comments to the press -- about (a) not knowing who was involved and (b) wanting to fire whoever it was -- were just more administration bullshit.

Anyone surprised?

Well, Rumor and Hearsay are Kinds of Evidence

With so many scandals coming down the pike -- DeLay's multiple indictments, Frist's stock snafu, and the Plame extravaganza -- conservatives are really starting to lose it. One sign of their trouble is that the rumors have started racing around Washington. Has one of Cheney's aides spilled his guts in the Plame investigation? Has a big figure like Colin Powell or Ari Fleischer sung? Things have gotten so bad that there are even rumors that Dick Cheney might soon resign. I don't put much faith in these rumors -- at least the last two -- but I do love the idea that all these crazy rumors are really out there. They show just how far the White House is off its game and just how much the Republicans are on their heels. What's more, it's fun.

I'm reminded of my favorite LBJ story, when early in his career he wanted to float rumors that his campaign opponent, a pig farmer, was a little too familiar with his livestock. "Jesus, Lyndon," the campaign manager responded. "Nobody's going to believe that." "Yeah," LBJ said, "but I want to hear the SOB deny it."

So let the rumors fly. Back during the Elian Gonzalez insanity, Peggy Noonan wondered aloud if Bill Clinton were being blackmailed by Fidel Castro for some unspeakable crime Clinton had committed. Nooners thought this stuff was wholly fair game: "Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to."

Alright, then. I just heard that Karl Rove once strangled a hobo to get an erection.

Jong-Il Communications

We tried threats, the silent treatment, bribes with food and oil - but the answer was so simple.

The isolated communist country led by movie-buff leader Kim Jong-Il hopes to
revive the fortunes of the nation's once-thriving movie business though joint
ventures with foreign producers, said Park Jun-Hee, who just completed the first
film co-production between China and North Korea, "The Secret of Rikidozan."

For those who don't know about Kim Jong-Il (Third World dictator who is 1/2 Al Davis and 1/2 Mao Tse-tung and 100% crazy), he tends to do things on his terms. For example:

Kim ordered the abduction of South Korean film director Shin Sang-Ok and his
ex-wife, actress Che Eun-Hui, in 1978. When they were shipped to North Korea,
Kim stood waiting on the dock. "You have suffered a great deal trying to come
here. I am Kim Jong-Il," according to the Shins' testimony.

So let's send Vin Diesel. He's like an Arnold without that bothersome intellect.

Virginia Guber Roundup

In a couple weeks, us commonwealthians will be picking a new governor. Our choices are Tim Kaine, the democratic Lt. Gov. and annointed successor to Gov. Mark Warner, and AG Jerry Kilgore, former president of the Charles Bronson Make a Death Wish fan club. A few months ago Kilgore had a decent lead in the polls, but that lead has slipped away. Some say it's because Tim Kaine will continue the incredibly successful policies of Warner, and some say it's because Kilgore is just kinda creepy.

Beginning two or three weeks ago, the negative ads started getting heavy rotation on our TVs (sorry, no Tivo here; I likes my TV missionary style!). The ads by Kaine say that Kilgore used to lobby for mean natural gas companies, and the ads by Kilgore say that Kaine would defend Hitler if he had the chance. As usual, the Washington Post has declared each sides' ads to be equally negative. Yeah, whatever.

Kos posted the latest Survey USA polling results, showing Kaine with 47-45 advantage. Certainly a slim margin, but I think this is the first time Kaine has passed Kilgore, so hopefully it's a trend. My greatest concern at this point is the third-party contender, Russ Potts. I figure there's about 5 or 10% of voters out there who will get into the voting booth with no idea who to pick and will say "Heh, this guy's name is Potts. Cool." The question is, will these Potts-heads be stolen from Killy's column or Kaine's?

(For more good dope on the death penalty issue in this race, check out Ed Kilgore's take on things.)

Caption Contest

Friday Random Ten

Yes, that's right. The Addicts Sing. That's not an edgy punk name bragging about drug abuse, like "The Vein Tappers" or "David Crosby." Nope. They're actual drug addicts, putting out this sweet, sweet music as part of their recovery. And what a treat it is! Your favorite 1960s pop standards sung by a group of people fighting the shakes with regular doses of methadone. It's as good as it sounds!

I have nothing more to say about these icons of pharma-pop, so let's just move on to the Friday Random Ten. You know the drill by now, right? Give us the first ten songs that spew from your iWhatever and, if you damn well feel like it, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit as well.

Here's mine:

1. Johnny Cash, "Hurt" -- Well, I'm a big fan of all things Man in Black™, but I'd have to say his American Recordings era was one of his best. This reworking of this Nine Inch Nails song is just phenomenal. (And the video for the song is absolutely amazing as well.) A great swan song from a legend. 9/10

2. Belle & Sebastian, "My Wandering Days Are Over" -- A grooving little folk tune about an indie rocker settling down. This will take the sting off if you're in your early 30s and wandering why those damn kids won't turn it down. 8/10

3. The Clash, "White Riot" -- If you can listen to this song without the overwhelming urge to bob your head along, then you, my friend, have no heart. No heart, skip. 9/10

4. Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" -- A legendary Hawaiian singer of legendary Hawaiian girth, IK passed away a couple years ago. His music is still everywhere, though, like this cover of the Wizard of Oz classic, which crops up in a television ad or "ER" episode every six minutes. Which I guess takes the coolness down a bit. 5/10

5. De La Soul with Common, "The Bizness" -- For my money, De La Soul ranks right up there with the Roots and Outkast in forming the Holy Trinity of Hip Hop. Like their colleagues, De La Soul has been putting out consistently strong CDs for a decade now, and they're only getting better. This is a great De La tune with Common along for the ride. Very nice. 8/10

6. San Francisco Seals, "Baby Blue" -- Barbara Manning? Doing a cover of a Badfinger ballad? Sold. 8/10

7. Cat Power, "The Greatest" -- This is a sneak peak from the forthcoming CD. Chan Marshall sounds great here in a song that's a little more orchestral than the past albums. Very sweet. 9/10

8. The Stanley Brothers, "(Say) Won't You Be Mine" -- I'm a sucker for good bluegrass, and these boys fit the bill. Not one of their best songs, but still some excellent harmonies. 6/10

9. Black Sabbath, "Fairies Wear Boots" -- Supposedly this is about English skinheads who were known for wearing big boots as part of their get-ups. (I'm suddenly reminded of the Bill Hicks routine about English hooligans. Heh.) Anyway, good rocking for a good cause. Or something. 6/10

10. Television, "Venus" -- Though not as well known as fellow '70s New York punk bands like the Ramones, Blondie, Talking Heads and shudder the New York Dolls, Television put out some great stuff. This is off their 1977 debut album Marquee Moon. Solid stuff. 8/10

That gives me a 7.6 average, which is good enough to be a Cabinet member of this administration. Look out, Norm Mineta! I'm coming for you!

Alright, your turn. Drop your own random ten in the comments below, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit.

Phoning It In

Courtesy of Think Progress, the laziest photo op ever.

Supporting the troops by teleconference. Awesome. I'm surprised they didn't just hand him a phone in bed.

Maybe next time they'll just Photo Shop the president into the picture and be done with it.

Like a Black Fly in Your Chardonnay

I'm not sure if ironic is the right word here.

In an ironic twist, the policy community was receptive to technical intelligence (the weapons program), where the analysis was wrong, but apparently paid little attention to intelligence on cultural and political issues (post-Saddam Iraq), where the analysis was right.

Player Haters

The right has taken regularly to dismissing our complaints about the Republicans' disastrous foreign policy record, radical economic program, and dismal domestic performance. In spite of all the, oh, facts, figures and statistics that support such a negative view of their policies, Republicans instead claim that we're simply motivated by some irrational hatred of President Bush.

You want irrational hatred? Check out this little chestnut from the National Review. It's a list of their 200 reasons why Bill Clinton had to go.

The list is stunning. Sadly, they don't provide some sort of rank their charges against Clinton, so it's hard to tell what exactly tops the list of his crimes against humanity. In their defense, though, there are just so many felonies and sins out there that they'd be impossible to rank. I mean, you tell me which of these dastardly deeds was worse -- the fact that he was a Rhodes Scholar, or the fact that he named his dog Buddy? It's hard to distinguish between these various shades of evil.

Clearly, conservatives are on the side of angels here. Nothing Bush has done is worthy of similar outrage. Lying the country into a war that costs us $177 million a day, outing a CIA operative, exhibiting corruption beyond Warren Harding's wildest dreams, putting unqualified cronies everywhere from FEMA to the Supreme Court, and proving grossly incompetent at every facet of government are simply accidents of fate.

But vacationing in the Hamptons? Encouraging a revival of Fleetwood Mac, for God's sake? These are crimes worthy of a public execution and sins that will surely damn his soul to the ninth circle of Hell. It's a wonder they only tried to impeach this evil spawn of Satan. With a list of indictments like that, they would've been wholly justified in storming the White House with torches and pitchforks.

And it would be irrational to argue otherwise.

(Thanks to Jesse at Pandagon for finding this nonsense.)

Classic Caption Contest

This one's a little bit old, but it'll do.

Have at them.

Kaine and unAbel

The Washington Post endorses Tim Kaine (D) for governor of Virginia and blasts his republican opponent, Jerry "Don't Hate Me 'Cuz I'm Beautiful" Kilgore:

That history [of supporting the 2004 tax overhaul] should make Virginia voters more confident in Mr. Kaine than in Mr. Kilgore as a potential steward of the state's finances. But it is not the end of the story. For in other budget and fiscal areas, Mr. Kilgore appears not just wrongheaded or ill-informed; in fact, he is a radical.

That's gonna hurt come winter!

(Hat-tip to Mrs. T for the title.)

Liar Liar

It's hard to keep track of all the Republican wrongdoing, but it seems two of them have just been caught lying.

First, Frist. According to the Associated Press, documents show that despite his claims to have placed all of his HCA stock in a blind trust, Frist has made tens of thousands of dollars on other HCA stock held outside the trust. This is looking worse and worse for him.

Second, Scooter. As reported in the National Journal, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff, failed to disclose a crucial 2003 meeting with reporter Judith Miller, in which they discussed Valerie Plame, in either of the investigations led by the FBI and Patrick FitzGerald. Since that's exactly what both investigations were looking for, this looks like obstruction of justice and it seems really likely that our boy Scooter's about to get indicted.

I'm so glad the Republicans have restored honor and integrity to our government. At this point, the only question is: Who's next?

A Fool and Your Money

With the staggering incompetency of the Bush administration becoming apparent to everyone but the most mouth-breathing Republican loyalist, it was only a matter of time before the wizards of Wall Street realized that Bush's borrow-and-spend approach to the economy was going to bring a day of recknoning.

James Cramer has the goods in his column in New York magazine:

It’s dawning on Wall Street that George W. Bush may be the first president since Lyndon B. Johnson who believes that we can have a guns-and-butter federal spending policy without creating a serious inflation spiral, if not outright government bankruptcy. At least LBJ, to his credit, believed that there were limits to profligacy and that taxes had to be raised. Not President Bush. He’s making Johnson look like a fiscal conservative, what with his insistence on waging a war in Iraq that’s costing $177 million a day and rebuilding New Orleans by taking on a monstrous load of federal debt.

For the longest time, because Bush is a Republican, we on Wall Street simply didn’t believe that he could be a reckless spender. We knew only two paradigms: You either spent less and cut taxes or you spent more and raised taxes. Both courses at least presumed some sacrifice at some time. Not Bush’s plan. He’s gone on both the biggest spending binge and the lowest taxation course in U.S. history, which, alas, will produce gigantic liabilities down the road. Of course, he’ll be back on the ranch by the time his successor will have to deal with his inflation and currency debasement. Our only hope that financial disaster won’t strike sooner lies with the Chinese, who actually fund our deficit by buying our Treasuries—$242 billion worth, or 12 percent of all foreign holdings. If the Chinese decide to be good communists and stop buying our bonds, the Feds will have to raise rates to attract new investors and the reaper will be at our doorstep with interest rates more akin to those of South than North America. Right now, it’s not a problem. But in a year or two or maybe less, I perceive that the government will throw a bond auction and nobody will show, including the Chinese, until rates shoot up dramatically.

What if that happens? What if our fiscally clueless president really does keep spending at a rate that far exceeds what our government can take in at these low tax rates? What happens if the president’s acolytes and the Pollyannas in Treasury keep believing that we can grow our way, fairy-tale-like, out of this jam? You can bet that when you cash out your nest egg of nice U.S.-based mutual funds and solid common stocks, your dollars will fit nicely into a wheelbarrow designed specifically to cart worthless currency to the bank.

Awesome. We're about a decade away from becoming a real Banana Republic. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to start hoarding gold and handguns.

(Thanks to TPM for the article.)

Plame Game

This is all over the internets, but it's worth repeating: an excellent breakdown of the Valerie Plame investigation by Hardball.

Definitely worth a look.

Damn Yankees

The Braves and Red Sox may be out of it, but at least the evil corporate Yankees are now gone too. (Yes, I live in New York and hate the Yankees. If you lived here and saw the annual outbreak of Yankees Fever every October, you would too. So many people here jump on the bandwagon at the final lap, it's pathetic.)

I also hate the Yankees because they've become another home to the philosophy that if you have enough money, you can get away with anything. As we've just seen, the unfair salary rules of Major League Baseball make it possible to buy a World Series berth, but it's never a guarantee. For example, Alex Rodriguez made over $25 million this year, and yet he came to bat in the 9th inning tonight with an anemic .143 batting average for the postseason. He promptly hit into a double play.

Nice investment. Suck it, Steinbrenner.

Bring It On

In the midst of the general liberal schadenfreude over the Massive Republican Meltdown, I've seen quite a few comments from folks who were wishing that all the scandals, cronyism and incompetence of the GOP were coming to light in an election year.

But as this article in the Washington Post makes clear, the timing is actually quite good for us:

Republican politicians in multiple states have recently decided not to run for Senate next year, stirring anxiety among Washington operatives about the effectiveness of the party's recruiting efforts and whether this signals a broader decline in GOP congressional prospects.

Prominent Republicans have passed up races in North Dakota and West Virginia, both GOP-leaning states with potentially vulnerable Democratic incumbents. Earlier, Republican recruiters on Capitol Hill and at the White House failed to lure their first choices to run in Florida, Michigan and Vermont.

.... With an unpopular war in Iraq, ethical controversies shadowing top Republicans in the House and Senate, and President Bush suffering the lowest approval ratings of his presidency, the waters look less inviting to politicians deciding whether to plunge into an election bid. Additionally, some Capitol Hill operatives complain that preoccupied senior White House officials have been less engaged in candidate recruitment than they were for the 2002 and 2004 elections. ...

Historically, Senate and House races are often won or lost in the year before the election, as a party's prospects hinge critically on whether the most capable politicians decide to invest time, money and personal pride in a competitive race. Often, this commitment takes some coaxing....

The GOP holds 55 Senate seats, but unless the political climate brightens considerably in the next few months, some strategists and analysts believe the next Senate may resemble the one after the 2002 election, when Republicans held the narrowest of majorities....

It is the NRSC's fundraising that some GOP operatives find underwhelming. At the end of August, the NRSC had raised $25 million, just a little less than its counterpart, the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. But the DSCC has twice as much cash on hand, $16.7 million to the NRSC's $8.2 million....

On the House side, where Republicans hold 231 of the 435 seats, the effect of the political climate on recruiting is less clear. Democrats and Republicans can point to successes in individual races, but no clear national pattern has emerged, analysts say.

Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chairman Rahm Emanuel (Ill.) says 50 or more seats are in play and notes that his organization has recruited 40 candidates in competitive districts. His GOP counterpart, Rep. Tom Reynolds (N.Y.), says 27 to 37 seats could be close fights. "We will be a majority" after the 2006 elections, vowed the chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee.

The whole article is a treat, full of positive news for different states and both Houses of Congress.

As we all know, the Democrats have a great knack for pulling defeat out of the jaws of victory. But this time should be different. For one thing, the people in charge of the midterm election campaign -- DNC Chairman Howard Dean, DSCC Chair Chuck Schumer and DCCC Chairman Rahm Emanuel -- are all willing to play hardball and are doing a good job of building the resources to do so. (Having twice as much cash on hand than the GOP for House races is a nice start.) And the current Congressional leadership is showing signs of a fight as well.

I can't stress how important the 2006 elections will be. If the Democrats can take back the House, the Senate or, in a perfect storm, both, they'll be able to do more than scream and shout at the next ridiculous act of Republican corruption or abuse of power. They'll be able to hold hearings, launch investigations, block the right-wing agenda at every turn and generally make life even more miserable for Incurious George and the Man in the Yellow Hat Orange Jumpsuit. And isn't that something we all want?

If you feel like kicking them while they're down, and helping ensure they never get back up, go ahead and contribute to the DNC.

(The Bush poster is from the excellent Whitehouse.org, by the way. It's available for purchase here, along with many many others.)

UPDATE: Over at Digby's, Tristero has a nice post about Dean's new strategy at the DNC. Very interesting.

Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Chairman

Remember back when the Religious Right made Arlen Specter supplicate himself before Their Might in order to keep his job as the head of the Judiciary Committee? Well, rest assured that Specter remembers it well:

(BLOOMBERG) -- Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter said he wants to know whether presidential adviser Karl Rove privately assured a conservative activist of how Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers would rule on the court.

Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, said he will would look into a statement by James Dobson, president of the Colorado Springs, Colorado-based advocacy group Focus on the Family, that Dobson has had "conversations" with Rove about the woman nominated to replace retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor and knows things about Miers "that I probably shouldn't know."

"The Senate Judiciary Committee is entitled to know whatever the White House knew," Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, said on ABC's This Week program. "If Dr. Dobson knows something that he shouldn't know or something that I ought to know, I'm going to find out."

It sounds like Specter might just subpoena Dobson, haul him before the Judiciary Committee and make him spill his guts. And that moment, of course, would be wonderful on so many levels.

First of all, it'd be nice to watch Specter exact a little justice of his own by making Dobson squirm under the spotlights. If you've ever seen Dobson live, you know he's always just a split second away from a screaming "No, you're out of order!" meltdown. I'm pretty sure this moment is why TiVo was invented in the first place.

Second, a showdown between Specter and Dobson would only help bring the growing civil war in the Republican Party to the forefront. It's been bubbling for a while, and with Bush, DeLay, and Frist all on the ropes, the moderates have finally seen their last shot at reclaiming the party from the people who are boldly building a bridge to the 12th Century. Anything that brings the day of reckoning closer is not only good for the country, but nicely enough, also good for the Democrats.

Third, such a confrontation would only drive the Religious Right to higher levels of lunacy. If you thought "Justice Sunday" and "Justice Sunday II: Electric Boogaloo" were fun, then stay tuned for what they pull out of the mitre hat when it's not a judge who's getting discriminated against, but one of their own leaders. It would be an event both terrifying and thrilling, like a live speech from Anna Nicole Smith.

Come on, Specter. This is clearly your last term, and possibly your last chance to strut on the stage of a Supreme Court nomination. Bring the pain!

Blew Balls

The Braves. The Atlanta Braves. 14 consecutive years to the post season. 1 world series in 1995. And yesterday, losing longest game in post season history (18 innings), after being up 6-1 in the 8th inning, after being 1 out away from winning in the 9th - hurt. It just hurt.

Many people criticize the Braves fan base for not publicly supporting the team enough by selling out the ball park in the post season, but the real fans already know how this thing ends because we watched ever damn game on TV through the year - all 162 of them. We know that this team (admittedly great) is built for a marathon, but the playoffs are a sprint.

Southerners tend to be very private people, don't like to be rude or cause a fuss. So, when you know the final answer; and you know you just want to be alone - why force yourself to be in public and put up a good front.

Next year, the Braves will be back, young team, nucleus, spring - shit, I don't know.

Smurfocide

The Smurfs are totally smurfed.

Article here.

(via BoingBoing)

The video isn't actually that good; it's more of a slide show. It does have the ability to traumatize children, however.

Caption Contest

Nothing chases away a case of the Mondays like a nice caption contest.

Release the hounds!

Church Chat - Romans 7:1-3

Today's "Church Chat" focuses on another one of those tough Bible quotes for our modern world - one with speaks to divorce. Depending on the time of the month, I am generally very anti-divorce. And interestingly as much discussion (during elections) as there has been regarding the "defense of marriage" (from da homo's marrin'), there hasn't been a lot of discussion in (1) limiting the number of divorces someone can have, (2) putting age restrictions on it, (3) creating a tax or financial penalty, or (4) even making it outright banned.

Paul clarified some grey areas in marriage rulings where women were thinking they were equals:

By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if the husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while he husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress.

Yes, the same adultery as referenced in the Ten Commandments that we are trying to put in all of our courthouses does here in the South.

A comment I hear every 2 weeks from the rednecks I work with: "Why are divorces so expensive?" "Because they are worth it." Yes, I work with rubes - except those who read this blog, of course.

What the Deuce?

Much like the time when Bill Cosby stole his mind control goggles, now you too can command Stewie Griffin to do your bidding.

Enjoy!

It's Your Friends I Don't Trust

I was struck by a line today in an NY Times editorial:

The hurricane showed that despite four years of spinning, America is still unprepared for a catastrophe. It raised major questions about the caliber of people with whom Mr. Bush surrounds himself.

Wasn't the whole premise behind Bush his ability to surround himself with capable people? Sure, he's not the brightest. He's not the most knowledgable. But he knows people. (And later we'd find out he has superpowers to "sense people's souls" and "know their hearts.")

I think this Brownie/Miers thing is finally waking the general public (as opposed to the people who pay attention to this stuff) that this is and always has been a crock of shiite.

Friday Random Ten

Let's see....

A band called the Ministers' Quartet.

With an album called "Let Me Touch Him."

I just don't know how to approach that one.

Perhaps if there were some topical scandal involving clergy and sexual abuse, something that lent itself to humor and sarcasm, well, then I might have something to work with. But as it stands, I'm at a loss.

Moving right along, it's time for the Friday Random Ten. For those of you who are joining us for the first time or, like I-Rod, have the reading retention skills of a kindergartner with ADD, here's how you play: Take out your iPod or iWhatever, set it on Random, and give us the first ten songs that pop up. (Hence the name, "Friday Random Ten." Get it? It's Friday, too. Get it now?)

As always, if those of you at home would like to play the advanced version, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit as well. (Check out this FRT for a friendly guide to that. Or don't. See if I care.)

Alright, here's my list. Come on, big bucks! No Whammies!

1. Minnie Riperton, "Les Fleur" -- A classic of '70s soul, recently sampled for the Jurassic 5 song "Thin Line," featuring Nelly Furtado. The soft opening lyrics and guitar, which are what J5 lifted, are quite nice, but the best part is the sudden, almost-shouted refrains coming from the backup singers. It's like a Greek chorus as arranged by George Clinton. 8/10

2. The Pixies, "Where Is My Mind?" -- One of my favorite bands, with a great tune off Surfer Rosa. This song was already incredibly cool, but its association with the final scene of Fight Club only makes it more so. 8/10

3. Wanda Jackson, "Riot in Cell Block #9" -- Jackson was a phenomenal force in '50s rockabilly. You may remember her from such appearances as the Guitar Granny in some Budweiser ads alongside Brian Setzer, or else from classic tunes like "Let's Have a Party." This tune is the basis for every crappy, sexist, exploitative Caged Heat-style women-in-prison B-movie, and for that reason alone, we owe Jackson a tremendous debt. 8/10

4. Iggy Pop, "Repo Man" -- The title track from one of the all-time great movie soundtracks. I don't care if the film starred Emilio Estevez, the soundtrack will kick your ass and then take your car. 8/10

5. Run-D.M.C., "My Adidas" -- This used to seem cool, but now it just seems like an infomerical. You know what one of them is? It's information that you get in a commercial. Eh. 5/10

6. Southern Culture on the Skids, "Camel Walk" -- One of the odder acts of the whole Nu Country revival, SCOTS are absolutely hysterical in concert. They pass out fried chicken for the audience to eat, and distribute pots and pans so they can help out with the percussion. It's like Ernest T. from "The Andy Griffith Show" formed a rockabilly trio with Goober Pyle and Lurleen Lumpkin. 7/10

7. Red House Painters, "Long Distance Runaround" -- At long last, we may have found a song that Thrillhous and I can agree on. He should love this because it's a Yes cover, and I sure as hell love it because it's a brilliant tune. I just found this recently on my new favorite music blog, Out of 5, which this week has a set of ten songs -- all covers that are better than the original. Miles Davis covering "Time After Time." 'Nuff said. 10/10

8. Electric Light Orchestra, "Do Ya" -- Say what you will about the slick '70s synthesizers and the slicker '70s manfros, but this band put out some of the most beautifully layered, carefully constructed pop songs of all time. ELO was forgotten when we, as a nation, jettisoned the Disco Era for good back in the Battle of Comiskey Park, but this band is due for a renaissance soon. (I'm not alone on this, either. Check the comments over at Pandagon.) ELO will rule again. They're already seeping into commercials -- even "Do Ya," I believe, is in a Monster.com ad now -- and from there it's only a matter of time before they're revived like New Wave has been recently. 8/10

9. Wolf Parade, "Lousy Pictures" -- Speaking of the next big thing, the word on the street is that these kids have been anointed the New Hotness. They're wrapping up a tour with Arcade Fire and seem likely to emerge from the shadows as the next band of the moment. And if you like AF, you'll like them too. Consider yourself warned. 8/10

10. Ronnie Foster, "Mystic Brew" -- Wow, looks like we've got some nice symmetry here. Like our opening tune, this is a song that's probably better known for the hiphop sample it became: the backing music for Tribe Called Quest's "Electric Relaxation." But again, this song stands on its own. For the most part, it's a solid bit of organ-driven jazz, but the last minute is absolutely scorching. 10/10

Alright, that gives me an 8.0 average, which is easily the coolest I've been rated in a long, long time.

Think you can do better than that? Then spin the wheel, raggedy man!

Caption Contest

I'm trying not to go to the well too often with this sort of thing, but this shot from TBogg's place is just too damn good to pass up. (As is his post, by the way.)

Have at it.

Hearing Voices? Don't Operate a Vehicle or Run a Nation

A funny thing happened while viewing the Drudge Report, from an Israeli news source:

"According to Abbas, immediately thereafter Bush said: "God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them."

I did a search on "voices in your head" and found something else interesting. If you:

"Hear voices, especially if the voice tells you to hurt yourself or someone else, or to do something illegal such as destroy property or steal....."

It might be a problem. In fact, it sounds like a match.

Good thing Cheney is in charge.

Nuts and Gum

You wanna know the worst idea I've heard in a long, long time? Ben Affleck running for senate in VA. I really like the work the MyDD and SwingState people do, but whatever they're smoking must have too much asbestos in it. If you're wondering why, just read some of the comments to the MyDD post. They say it all.

You want a celeb, go get Ward Burton.

Another day, another box of stolen pens

So it's official. Nobody's going to be repremanded for the worst intelligence failure in US history. Well, the worst intelligence failure before the invasion of Iraq because of its huge stockpiles of WMDs.

It's kind of disturbing that your on-the-job negligence can cause the deaths of 3000 Americans and the repercussions are less than someone who steals office supplies from work.

Two for the Money

WASHINGTON - Tom DeLay deliberately raised more money than he needed to throw parties at the 2000 presidential convention, then diverted some of the excess to longtime ally Roy Blunt through a series of donations that benefited both men's causes.

When the financial carousel stopped, DeLay's private charity, the consulting firm that employed DeLay's wife and the Missouri campaign of Blunt's son all ended up with money, according to campaign documents reviewed by The Associated Press.

Jack Abramoff, a Washington lobbyist recently charged in an ongoing federal corruption and fraud investigation, and Jim Ellis, the DeLay fundraiser indicted with his boss last week in Texas, also came into the picture.

The complicated transactions are drawing scrutiny in legal and political circles after a grand jury indicted DeLay on charges of violating Texas law with a scheme to launder illegal corporate donations to state candidates.

Blunt last week temporarily replaced DeLay as House majority leader, and Blunt's son, Matt, has now risen to Missouri's governor.

Christ, this just gets better and better. DeLay steps aside and puts his buddy Blunt in the leadership position, and now he could go down too? As far as Republican meltdowns go, this is getting close to rivaling the Gold Standard -- the one-two collapse of Newt Gingrich and Bob Livingston during their crusade against Clinton. Good times, kids. Good times.

Between the money laundering charges against the Republican leadership (man, that phrase is fun to type); the ever-widening Jack Abramoff scandal, which just resulted in an indictment of a Bush White House official; and now the revelation that there was a Filipino spy in the Bush White House for three years -- it's shaping up to be a banner week for Republican corruption. As if those weren't enough, we've still got the Plame investigation coming to a head soon, the Frist stock dump, and God knows what else out there.

If the Democrats don't pound the phrase "Republican corruption" every single day until the 2006 midterms, then they have officially been fitted with Neuticles. Yes, there's nothing the minority party can do in any official capacity, since the all-important powers of issuing subpoenas and holding investigations only come with control of the House or Senate. But take a lesson from the Republicans: When you're out of power and the people in power are fucking up this badly, start screaming.

The media is covering this now, but they tend to have the attention span of a brain damaged cocker spaniel. Lord knows it's only a matter of time before they lose interest in all these complicated facts and focus on the shiny object that is the Missing White Woman story. Don't let them. Anytime a reporter asks a question, the first sentence should contain the phrase "Republican corruption." I don't care if they're asking for directions to the salad bar or help with CPR. "Republican corruption."

UPDATE: This is just a rumor, but the word here is that there are 22 indictments coming down in the Plame case and Rove is on the list. Again, just a rumor right now. But oh, such a good one.

UPDATE 2.0: Courtesy of Norbizness, who's worked up his own impressive list of scandals, I'm happy to pass along Crooked Timber's Republican Bingo. Play along at home!

Veteran Politicians

WASHINGTON - Lawyer Patrick Murphy and five other veterans of the
Iraq war are asking questions about President Bush's policies in Iraq as part of their broader Democratic campaigns to win congressional seats in next year's elections.

Given their experience in Iraq, the six Democrats in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Maryland and Virginia say they are eminently qualified to pose the tough questions. Their reservations mirror public opinion, with an increasing number of Americans expressing concern about the mission and favoring a timetable for withdrawal of U.S. troops.

The most recent Associated Press-Ipsos poll showed only 37 percent of Americans approve of Bush's handling of Iraq, with 62 percent disapproving.

This summer, Democrat Paul Hackett, an Iraq war veteran, nearly defeated Republican Jean Schmidt in a special election in an Ohio district considered a GOP stronghold. Hackett focused on his wartime experience and his opposition to Bush's policies.

On Monday, with support from Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., and other party leaders, Hackett decided to seek a higher office, the Senate seat now held by two-term Republican Mike DeWine, said spokesman David Woodruff.

"Some guys don't think it's time to question our government, but the fact is I love my country," said Murphy, 31, who fought with the 82nd Airborne Division. "We need to have an exit strategy now."

....

Bryan Lentz, 41, an attorney from Swarthmore, Pa., volunteered to go to Iraq at age 39 with a civil affairs unit. The Army reserves major was so disillusioned by the lack of a plan in Iraq that he decided while he was in Iraq to run for Congress.

He is trying to unseat 10-term GOP Rep. Curt Weldon, who is vice chairman of the House Armed Services Committee.

"I'm not anti-war, I'm anti-failure," Lentz said. "We need to define what victory is and we need to set a plan to get there. You cannot stay the course if you do not set a course."

This is the first step in rebuilding the Democrats' credentials on military issues -- getting new veterans on board as frontline candidates.

Oh, we have plenty of veterans representing the Democratic Party. You know about the Vietnam folks like Kerry and Kerrey and the WWII vets like Akaka and Inuoye, but you'd be surprised to hear some of the unlikely folks who have service records -- Ted Kennedy, Army; Jon Corzine, Marines; Jack Reed, Army Rangers; Chris Dodd, Army. And that's precisely the point. The split of veterans in the Senate is almost 50-50, and yet you'd never know it from the posturing of the Republican Party and the complicity of the press.

It's going to take a new wave of Democratic veterans to restore that image and, much more importantly, restore the spine of the party to speak out on military affairs. As Paul Hackett showed us last time, stark criticism of the Iraq misadventure can be delivered and delivered well when it's coming from someone who's actually served there. Hard to claim they don't support the troops when they are, in fact, the troops.

Good luck, guys.

Caption Contest

Time for another caption contest.

Bring it on, punks!

Depends on What Your Definition of "Battalion" Is

The Prez had a morning bla bla in the Rose Garden to hype Harriet Miers-Brownie, and the questions eventually turned to Iraq. We've all gotten used to Bush's fuzzy math, but today he outfuzzed himself. Let's go to the transcript:

QUESTION: A couple of weeks ago, you stood in the Rose Garden with Generals Abizaid and Casey and you cited the accomplishments regarding standing up of Iraqi troops there and said that there were 12 battalions that were working on Fallujah in the western part, 20 in Baghdad, 100 across the nation.

QUESTION: And that afternoon, Abizaid and Casey went up to Capitol Hill and said, "Well, there's one battle-ready battalion," which led some Republican senators to say, "Well, the situation is getting worse."

So, the questions is, sir: It appears that between what you said and what they said, something's not adding up here.

BUSH: Well, what is happening in Iraq is the following: More and more Iraqi are able to take the fight to the enemy.

BUSH: And that's important to achieve our goal. And the goal is for a stable, democratic Iraq that is an ally in the war on terror.

Right now, there are over 80 army battalions fighting alongside coalition troops. When I say army battalions, Iraqi army battalions. There are over 30 Iraqi battalions in the lead. And that is substantial progress from the way the world was a year ago.

I don't want to be relentlessly negative here; Bush has had a bad few weeks. So let me say that I'm encouraged that they've talked him down from 100 to 80. However, even 80 seems to be, oh, around 79 battallions too high. I could understand being off by, say, 30, or even 50, but 79? That's kind of a lot. Maybe whoever it is that's in charge of getting important information to his desk could get on that.

And while she's at it, maybe she could point out that "more and more Iraqi are taking it to the enemy" could be read in two ways, and the other way is exactly what we're worried about.

UPDATE: The Daily Show was all over this last night, with hilarious results. Crooks and Liars has the video clip here. (Otto Man)

Superbaby

This just in:

"Oscar-winning actor Nicolas Cage is a new father.

"His wife, Alice Kim Cage, gave birth Monday to a boy, Kal-el Coppola Cage, in New York City, said Cage's Los Angeles-based publicist, Annett Wolf."

This is funny on so many levels.

First, Nick took the stage name of "Cage" because he didn't want the pressure of the family name. Yeah, no pressure in the whole Last Son of Krypton thing.

Second, he was in an actually funny Saturday Night Live skit several years ago as an expectant father who rejected every single baby name because it sounded like it would be mocked by other children. The punch line comes when they get a telegram, and you discover his name is Asswipe Johnson. (Transcript here.) Yeah, no one would ever mock Kal-El, son of Marlon Brando Jor-El.

Drool before Zod!

Maddening

As regular readers of LLatPoN will recognize, the bloggers here are all 100% American. And as such, we're all ridiculously huge football fans.

The fall is a holy time for us, as it brings not just the return of the NFL and college ball, but enough related activity -- like fantasy leagues and an extra thirty or so hours of TV time -- to fill the voids that are our lives. My wife blessedly lets me have Sundays to myself, my friends and my DirecTV NFL Uberfan package, and I enter a warm and friendly womb in which NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is my benevolent and wise ruler.

So I love football; I live for football. But as the modern-day poets of Poison reminded us, every rose has its thorns. And the biggest, fattest, dumbest thorn of football season is, without doubt, John Madden.

I know there are people for whom Madden embodies all that's great about football, but I have it on good authority that all such people are communists. Madden may have had good days with the Raiders way back when and he might have lucked into endorsing the hottest NFL video game, but at his current job -- color commentary -- he is absofuckinglutely horrible.

A good color man will offer insight on the game, thoughts on why a certain kind of offensive play worked, what kind of coverage the defense is using, what strategies are being employed and what adjustments are being made on the fly. Madden, however, tends to offer the kind of color commentary that would come from a seeing-eye dog: He simply describes what's happening as if you didn't see it yourself, and he does so with the intelligence of a slightly retarded labrador retriever. A slightly retarded labrador retriever who likes to yell "BOOM!" a lot.

His commentary during the action generally veers between the obvious and the oblivious. Here's a pearl of wisdom that just came down live: "It's almost impossible to play offensive football without an offensive line." Really? Who knew? If his comments aren't empty to begin with, they slowly circle into nothingness, like a turd in the toilet bowl. This isn't an exact quote -- remembering it perfectly would cause me to slip into a coma -- but there was a line from tonight's game that went something like this: "You see, Robert Ferguson can give you the short catch, and he can give you a medium catch, and he can give you a long catch too. So there are a lot of catches he can make, and he made one there. A good medium catch."

The instant replay is normally where a color man shines, but for Madden it's where the inanity shines through. Most of his replay commentary falls into two categories. First is the hey-didja-see-that? style that would've been perfect for the golden age of radio, but which doesn't really add much to the televised game. Yes, John, I saw that one guy hit that other guy real good and then the one guy fell down. Thanks for the insight. Second is the telestrator replay, where Madden gets to play with his crayons all over the pretty screen. There is nothing too inconsequential or too obvious that Madden can't break out the telestrator and dumb it down more. I once saw him circle the different kinds of cleats on a running back's shoes. Gripping, John. Gripping.

Alright, halftime's over. Back to the game and the ageless wisdom of the man who created the turducken. Thank God I have Lionel Hutz's wisdom to guide me. Sweet liquor eases the pain.

Justice DeLayed

Man, Tom DeLay is a gift that just keeps on giving. Shortly after being indicted by the outgoing grand jury on conspiracy charges, the Bugman has just been indicted by the incoming grand jury on entirely new charges of money laundering.

From the Austin American-Statesman:

DeLay and two political associates are accused of conspiring to get around a state ban on corporate campaign contributions by funneling the money through the DeLay-founded Texans for a Republican Majority Political Action Committee to the Republican National Committee in Washington. The RNC then sent back like amounts to distribute to Texas candidates in 2002, the indictment alleges.

The money laundering charge was the first action from a new Travis County grand jury, which started their term Monday. It came just hours after DeLay's attorneys filed a motion to dismiss the case.

The motion was based on the argument that the conspiracy charge against DeLay was based on a law that wasn't effective until 2003, the year after the alleged money transfers.

"Since the indictment charges no offense, and since you have professed not to be politically motivated in bringing this indictment, I request that you immediately agree to dismiss the indictment so that the political consequences can be reversed," attorney Dick DeGuerin wrote in a letter to Travis County District Attorney Ronnie Earle.

DeLay's associates, John Colyandro of Austin and Jim Ellis of Washington, were each indicted on a money laundering charge last week. Money laundering is a charge under the criminal code, not the election code.

"Ronnie Earle has stooped to a new low with his brand of prosecutorial abuse," DeLay said in a prepared statement. "He is trying to pull the legal equivalent of a 'do-over' since he knows very well that the charges he brought against me last week are totally manufactured and illegitimate. This is an abomination of justice."

First of all, the DeLay quote reminds me of one of the all-time high points in the DeLay-Earle feud: "Being called vindictive and partisan by Tom DeLay is like being called ugly by a frog."

Second, I love that Earle has taken another swing at the bloated piñata of corruption that is DeLay. This is not just a nice way to smack down some of DeLay's pathetic posturing in the media, but you've got to love that he's been indicted on a charge normally reserved for someone who does the bidding of drug dealers. (Yes, Tom DeLay is firmly in the pocket of big pharmaceutical companies. I was talking about the kind of drug dealers you'd see on The Wire.) "Top Republican Indicted for Money Laundering" just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Third, this is just another reason to reflect on the happy thought of DeLay trussed up in orange and thrown in prison. (Conan O'Brien joked this week that a jailed DeLay would be like a Texas pickup; the rear end would be full of Mexicans.) Now, sure, there's a very good chance that DeLay would wind up in the J. Danforth Quayle III Minimum Security Prison and Equestrian Course, making deals with all the disgraced CEOs that would line the halls. But you've got to hope that there's a righteous God and he's going to send the Bugman to his own version of the Roach Motel. DeLay has always regretted not being able to spend more time with the poor, minority population of Texas, and this just might be his chance.

She's Not Worthy

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life on My account will find it."

The Book of Matthew Dubya, 10:36-39



As Studiodave alerted the world this morning, President Bush has nominated Harriet Miers -- former White House Staff Secretary and current White House Counsel -- to fill Justice O'Connor's vacancy on the Supreme Court. The media and the blogosphere are abuzz over Miers' lack of judicial experience, but honestly that's not the thing that worries me. We've had plenty of other Justices who had no prior experience as a judge, including Earl Warren and William Rehnquist, although generally they'd done something to distinguish themselves before the nomination. Miers, in contrast, seems to have been hiding under the coats for the last decade.

What really bothers me about Miers is the way in which she was selected. She was originally the head of Bush's search for a new Associate Justice, but after a couple meetings, Bush decided that he was more comfortable with the searcher than he was with any of the searchees, and so, aw, what the hell, let's just give her the seat.

Hmmm. For some reason, this process seems eerily familiar. I can't quite put my finger on where this happened before, but I'm sure it all worked out alright for everyone.

Once again, we're seeing the administration's rampant cronyism at work. As painfully documented here, what matters for advancement in the Bush administration isn't competence, intelligence, or skill. No, those things will get you fired. Just ask Eric Shinseki, Larry Lindsey and John Snow. All that matters is blind, undying loyalty. You must demonstrate to Dubya that he is your One True God, that you will follow Him wherever He goes, and fight to defend His Good Name. If you can do that, then no matter how much you screw up and no matter how obvious it is, you will be rewarded. Just ask Paul Bremer, George Tenet and that guy Brownie who's doin' a heck of a job with them hurricanes.

And make no mistake -- being a boot-licking lackey is Miers' one and only qualification. Here's what David Frum, who is himself a fairly prominent Bush loyalist, had to say about her:

I believe I was the first to float the name of Harriet Miers, White House counsel, as a possible Supreme Court [nominee]. Today her name is all over the news. I have to confess that at the time, I was mostly joking. Harriet Miers is a capable lawyer, a hard worker, and a kind and generous person. She would be an reasonable choice for a generalist attorney, which is indeed how George W. Bush first met her. She would make an excellent trial judge: She is a careful and fair-minded listener. But US Supreme Court?

In the White House that hero worshipped the president, Miers was distinguished by the intensity of her zeal: She once told me that the president was the most brilliant man she had ever met.

Well, that settles it. Welcome to the Court.

(Thanks to Norbizness for bravely wading through David Frum's diary for the money quote.)

Judicial Experience? No, but I Did Stay at a Holiday Inn Last Night

Sadly, this hack commercial for a national hotel chain can now be used to describe Bush's Supreme Court nominee to replace Sandra Day O'Connor.

With the success of Roberts' not having much of a record to be questioned on, Bush has decided to go "all in" with zero experience.

George W. "the Max Power" President

Caption Contest

Another photo op means another caption op.

Release the hounds!

Church Chat - Mark 13:24-31

I was born in the North, but grew up in the South. The move South was a culture shock - the biggest was religion. Meeting new people in the North they would ask me what school did I go to; people in the South would ask what church we attended. Halloween was generally not celebrated because it worshiped the devil; no dancing at school parties for fear of sexual arousal; my VanHalen "1984" was a clear sign I, at age 12, walked on the wild side, definitely in danger of losing my soul.

Now, the prospect of losing your soul before your even a teenager was enough to make you listen. And I was preached to, again and again. I couldn't play a pick up basketball game without a prayer before hand. Signs on trees testified to "watch your back, Hell is coming for you, and whooo, it's hot!!!" (This was a real sign, painted in big red letters.)

But, even at 12, I could never get over this "literal interpretation of the Bible" thing. It seemed to be an excuse to not think for yourself and it didn't make sense that God would want us to follow blindly. (Mind you, at 12 I didn't know about various Bible interpretations, political agendas of the historical and present church).

In Mark 13:24-31 Jesus speaks to the end of the world (the trump card for getting religious dedication).

"The sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will
fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken."

Jesus will:

...send his angels and gather his elect from the four winds ...

Now here's the tough part, Jesus instructs:

"I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all
these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words
will never pass away."

Even a 12 year old can figure that in the plus or minus 2000 years since Jesus, this Doomsday clock had expired. Now, I'm no genius, but it seems to me that if you believe in an infallible / literal Bible - if one thing CANNOT be true, it undermines the whole concept.

Well Endowed

BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- Harvard University's endowment has surged past the $25 billion mark, the school said Friday as it named an interim head of the successful, quasi-independent company that has helped make the university the wealthiest in the world.

I'm not in higher education, but I do have three kids that, God willing, will attend college. And when I visited a financial planner who would help ensure our kids could afford the best it was determined that if we saved half of our salaries for the next 30 years, we should emerge debt free. Given beer (technically labeled "entertainment") was crossed off the budget, I offered that perhaps ALL the kids didn't have to attend Yale, maybe they could slum it with something like Virginia. But budgeting is like going to the doctor, if you are not being honest with them, you are wasting your time and setting yourself up for long term failure.

The Net Result: I am now drinking Sam Adams and my kids will have to figure out college, trade school on their own nickel. These are difficult choices to make, but if the baby boomers have taught us anything - its look out for yourself and f*ck the others.

Magic: The Wonkering

If you’re really really cool, I mean Comic Book Store Guy cool, you’ll find this as funny as I did. On the other hand, you may have a real life and won’t get it at all. I pity you.