Harvey Korman, R.I.P.

Bring It On

Sadly, No has a record of the greatest bitch-slap of all time. Enjoy.

Sorry, Charlie

If, like me, you thought ABC News's Charlie Gibson embarrassed himself, his profession and anyone remotely connected to him when he moderated the last, pathetic Democratic presidential debate, you'll want to check out this terrific Glenn Greenwald piece where he rips the everloving shit out of him. Read it all, but be sure to read the update.

Caption Contest

Bring it.

Randy Savage + Tommy Chong =

Tan Trousers and Red Shoes

Personal relationships were also on Mr. Bush’s mind as he arrived here in Jerusalem, just days after the May 10 wedding of his daughter, Jenna. His Israeli hosts were well aware of the nuptials; many greeted the president with the traditional Jewish offer of congratulations, “Mazel tov,” which means, “Good luck.” But Mr. Bush had clearly not brushed up on his Hebrew. Before he left the White House, two Israeli journalists opened an interview by congratulating him — in English. “Thank you,” Mr. Bush said. “It was — as my Jewish friends tell me, there was mazel tov.”

Getting in shape

I've got about 40 extra pounds that I could shed, so I'm in the market for an easy, fun way to lose weight. A late night of googling turned me on to this:



Just watching that made me work up a sweat, but after watching it the six or seventeenth time, I thought it might be some kind of fake.

Good news, everyone!

Restoring Pride to America

With the price of oil hitting record highs, President Bush will use a private
visit to King Abdullah’s ranch here Friday to make a second attempt to persuade
the Saudi government to increase oil production so that American consumers can
get some relief at the gasoline pump.

Yes, the (former) most powerful man in the world. Begging - twice.

The Max Power Presidency continues!!!!!

Pwned

Dead Parrot

If you haven't read Dana Milbank's take on the never-say-dead Clinton campaign, take a look.

O'Reilly Gone Wild

Stupidest Day of the Year

If every father were forced to take care of a baby for a few months, there would be no Mother's Day. We'd have Mother's Month, complete with daily parades and symphonies and fireworks. Every good parking spot in every parking lot in America would be designated for mothers only (you cripples would just have to suck it up).

But that ain't going to happen. We'll keep taking motherhood mostly for granted, value it less than we value curly fries, and look down at the ones who stay home with their infants instead of rushing back to some bullshit job that means approximately nothing next to the raising of a child.

Family values my ass. It took so long for us just to get the family medical leave act, which generously allows mothers (and fathers) to take unpaid leave to have a baby. In India, where millions of people still have to use the street as a toilet, women get 3 months of paid maternity leave (and, of course, free medical care). In Slovenia they get a year. F'in Slovenia.

But we'll give mothers this one day a year, that one card or phone call. (And even that seems to be too much for congressional republicans, who overwhelmingly voted against a resolution praising motherhood.) The rest of the year, they're on their own.

"I Bet She Thinks Ziggy's Gotten Too Preachy, Too!"

Courtesy of With Leather, I'd like to pass along news that Joe Montana is suing his former first wife for trying to sell a bunch of his college-years memorabilia -- including this poorly written and pathetically sad Ziggy card.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Me (But Never Cared Enough to Ask)

One of the perils of returning to Blogfrica is getting tagged with the latest meme the cool kids are huffing. Mike's just smacked me with this one, so here goes:

1) Ten years ago, I was...

Getting ready to move to Atlanta -- "Hotlanta," "Gritsville," "The City Too Humid to Hate," "Where Peachtree Meets Peachtree," etc. -- and observe local residents Studiodave and I-Rod up close and personal. I, and my liver, would never ever be the same.

2) Five things on today's to-do list:

*Coffee
*Spend the day with the girl
*Scream at cable anchors during MSNBC's primary day coverage
*More Coffee
*Go see Flight of the Conchords at Town Hall

3) Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

*Purchase Faux News and turn it over to a liberal populist like Thomas Frank.
*Give enough cash to Hillary Clinton to just give it up already.
*Hunt the world's most dangerous beast -- man.
*Mars, bitches! M-A-R-S!

4) Three bad habits:

*Too much coffee
*Not enough sleep
*Inability to see cause and effect

5) Five places I've lived:

*New York
*Atlanta
*Nashville
*The Land of Chocolate
*A Land Down Under

6) Six jobs I've had in my life:

*Busboy
*Waiter
*Bouncer
*Bartender
*Horse Whisperer
*Ghost Whisperer

Alright, that's half serious and all boring. I'm supposed to pass this thing on -- like a flu virus, I suppose -- so I'm going to cough all over the other folks here. Give us some details, boys.

Sex and the Capitol

By way of Digby, here's an absolutely brilliant piece by Lance Mannion on the sex-obsessed punditocracy.

Caption Contest

Sometimes, it's just too fucking easy.

But it's a lazy Sunday, so let's have a shot at the low-hanging fruit.

Privacy Wall

It took a while, but reality finally caught up to satire.

The TwoDaLoo is billed as the world's first toilet two people can use ... at the exact same time. It brings couples closer together and conserves our water supply all with one flush. The TwoDaLoo features two side-by-side toilet seats with a modest privacy wall in between. An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station.