So I'm at a big Thanksgiving gathering which comprised a number of families. I'm talking to someone I haven't seen in a few years (his parents and my parents are best buddies). The usual small talk ensues and he mentions that he's currently living in Durham. I say "I've heard it's a nice place, but unfortunately it's filled with Dookies."
He goes on talking about Durham and about how he lives downtown and for some reason starts talking about the urban center and demographic shifts and things like that. My kid starts crying and I excuse myself.
Some things about our brief conversation continued to bother me. After my anti-Duke comment there was a slight hesitation, a glance over my shoulder -- all of this is very subtle and hard to quantify, but it just felt weird. I know he didn't go to Duke - I thought that perhaps one of his friends went there and that might be the reason for the strangeness that descended.
After some thinking, I suspect I know what happened. When I said "it's filled with Dookies," he heard me say, "it's filled with Darkies."
If anyone knows of an e-card along the lines of "You know that incredibly racist thing that you thought I said? Well, I didn't say it" Please pass it along.
7 comments:
True story: I was the best man at the wedding of an old friend a few years back. Bill and I had been on staff for a drum and bugle corps for many years, and everyone standing up with Bill had some connection to the corps.
Pre-wedding, we're all hanging out back at the church. There are standard nerves, of course, and the minister asks if there's anything we want. I suggest a VCR and TV to watch some corps videos.
He thought I said "porn videos."
That took a little explaining.
E-mail your friend and clear the air. It's not that hard, and you'll all have a good laugh. Unless, of course, he is a Duke fan.
WF
Ouch, Thrillhous. I'd recommend you clear the air, too. Being against the Dookies is an unqualified good, and it shouldn't be held against you.
Here's one that will get the point across in a subtle way.
I can't think of anything much worse than have someone think I am a biggot.
Definately clear the air, even if you have to say something like:
"Joe overheard my conversation with you the other day and said he thought I said 'darkies'. I wanted to make sure you didn't think I said that, so thought I should give you a call.
Couldn't you find a card that was more on-topic, Rusrus?
My guess is he doesn't know that "dookies" is a perjorative term for Duke alums. He probably thinks you truly believe there are feces everywhere in Durham.
Which, last time I checked, there were.
The odd thing though is that most people in Durham actually root for UNC over Duke. I only know a few people who are actually from North Carolina and root for Duke. Most of their fans come from out of state (holding off making New Jersey joke).
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