Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Federal Fluffer Act of 2009

Look out, folks. According to this CNN report, the pervert's baaaaaaaack!
Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry. ...

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow. But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.
I find it hard to believe that they can't find a sponsor for this. Surely, Sen. David Vitter can take time out from his Republican family values speeches and his prostitutes-and-Pampers funplay to help out an ailing industry that has given him so much.

3 comments:

Wes said...

This would still be a better - and more moral - use of taxpayers' dollars than the Wall Street bailout.

WF

sideshow bob said...

I don't know...I think Vitter's into things that Larry Flynt would find morally repugnant and exploitative of women.

Otto Man said...

This would still be a better - and more moral - use of taxpayers' dollars than the Wall Street bailout.

I know a lot of Wall Street types, and they typically spend a good chunk of their paycheck at the strip clubs anyway. This would just be cutting out the middleman.