If You're Lucky, Ladies, He'll Show You His "O" Face

Audio clips from Bill O'Reilly's novel available over at the Village Voice blog.

I thought about picking one sample, but it's just impossible to choose one.

I mean, do I go with a short snappy clip like Bill saying "I wish I were a lesbian"? Or do I go with an extended, disturbingly graphic sex scene?

Seriously, I dare you to try and listen to just one clip.

They're like Pringles -- stale, white, and best consumed by the handful.

CNBCockblocked

If you missed last night's epic showdown between Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer, holy crap.

It was like watching Mike Tyson mercilessly kick the everloving shit out of a third-grade girl. (Not only did he humiliate Cramer, but he might have gotten Cramer a nice little SEC investigation of his own.) In thirty years, they're going to revisit this interview as a full-length movie, sort of a cross between "Frost/Nixon" and "When We Were Kings." Stew-art, boom-a-ye! Stew-art, boom-a-ye!

You can check out the full interview online, including bits that had to be edited out for time. Part 1 of 3 is available on the Comedy Central website here.

They had me at the carrots

This Toilet Is Awesome - Watch more

Dear Porn Producers

Enough with the spitting already.

Thanks, etc.