Mr. Furious has shamed us about our recent lack of posting, and as punishment tagged us with the latest annoying blog meme -- "Eight Random Things You Probably Don't Know About Me."
I'm tempted to answer on behalf of the group, but a lot of those secrets I've sworn to take to the grave. So I'll address myself and let the others bare their troubled souls themselves. (A warning to parents: I-Rod's admissions should not be read by anyone under the age of 18.)
1. My first job was as a fry cook at Burger King at the ripe old age of 15. My co-workers liked to call me "the white kid."
2. I once had real aptitude and ability in mathematics, but it bored the hell out of me and I never explored it further than I had to for my college requirements. These days, I'm lucky if I can balance a checkbook correctly.
3. I'm a lifelong Chiefs fan, which means that I haven't experienced the thrill of victory since 1969, three years before I was born. When "Hank Stram" embodies your team's highlights, that's a sad, sad thing. On the bright side, courtesy of HBO's Hard Knocks series, I'm now getting valuable insight into the Chiefs training camp and an up close look at the impending disappointments of this season.
4. I'm the best parallel parker on the planet. I've had strangers roll down their windows to congratulate me on getting into an impossible spot. Jealous?
5. I had a string of car accidents as a teen -- t-boned by a pickup truck into a parking lot; hydroplaned into a fire hydrant; spun out on an icy patch on a back road, etc. etc. Like my namesake says, though, "Fifteen accidents and not a single fatality!"
6. I've probably seen a couple thousand rock concerts in my time, and as a result, I'm really looking forward to some awesome Pete Townsend style tinnitus when I grow older.
7. I'm a crossword junkie. I can do a Monday crossword from the New York Times in about four minutes, and the wife and I do the Sunday puzzle in pen every week. We usually wind up Googling for the opera clues, but other than that, we're unstoppable.
8. To explain the recent lack of blogging activity, we're expecting our first child -- a little girl -- in two months. We're thrilled, of course, but a lot of my time lately has been spent bracing for the impact. That unassembled baby crib isn't going to curse at itself, people!
Alright, I know I'm supposed to tag other people, but I'm lazy -- see #8 above -- and I'm just going to tap my co-bloggers. You're up, boys!