Saturday, August 18, 2007

You know what I love?

Air travel. It's just great. There's nothing that happens in an airport that can make me frown. Why is that? Because if I look unhappy, I may be arrested.
“Specially trained security personnel” will be watching passengers for “micro-expressions” that will reveal treacherous agendas and insidious intentions at airports around the country. These agents, who may literally hold your fate in their hands have been given a lofty, Orwellian name: "Behavior Detection Officers."

TFA does a good job running down how idiotic this is, and points out one of the BDO's strategeries:
Here’s where it gets really absurd. Apparently, these Behavior Detection Officers work in pairs. One scenario is that an officer might move in to “help” a passenger retrieve their belongings after they’ve been screened. And then the officer will ask where the passenger is headed. If the passenger’s reaction sets off alarm bells in the officer’s well-trained mind, another officer will move in and detain them.

Yeah, after standing an an hour long line to get through security some stranger comes up and grabs my bag and asks where I'm going. How could you do anything but smile and answer honestly?

8 comments:

sideshow bob said...

Just make sure to say "thank you sir, may I have another" after your complimentary cavity search!

I might feel an eensy-teensy-weensy better about this policy if I actually thought that the qualifications for the "specially trained security personnel" were something more than a GED, a two hour training seminar, and willingness to work for minimum wage.

S.W. Anderson said...

First thing I thought of was a TV segment from a few years back showing how thieves and pickpockets were moving in on travelers in just that place, time and way. The travelers are in a hurry and distracted.

Then, I wondered about the microexpression on the face of a traveler feeling the aftereffects of gulping down a soda and airport burrito while running his luggage to a connecting flight at the far end of the Denver terminal.

Can these well-trained psychodetectives distinguish between sinister plans and plain old anxiety about being late at the gate — on top of the prospect of being trapped inside a crowded metal canister for three hours while having intense gas pains?

Smitty said...

Behavior Detection Officers. Oh no, there'll be absolutely no complete abuse and misinterpretation of fucking facial expressions here.

They took a decent concept from Israeli airports - simply paying attention to passengers - and made it one step crazy. So now we wait for the single mother trying to haul 2 or 3 5-year-old-or-less kids through an airport to get hauled in for questioning because she looks like she might be a little dangerous.

Mr Furious said...

Newsflash! Plenty of people are nervous when they fly, even if hey aren't plotting death and destruction.

Smitty said...

I can't wait until they detain half the people in La Guardia. "Get your hands off my bags, freak."

Moon Rattled said...

It's a good thing I live in Canada because in 2002 I was standing in an airport on my way to be with my terminally ill mother. I couldn't have mustered a smile that day if you'd paid me.

Has the government gone completely nuts down there?

Anonymous said...

jx好秘书 呼吸网 肿瘤网 工作总结 个人工作总结 半年工作总结 年终工作总结 单位工作总结 教师工作总结 教学工作总结 学校工作总结 德育工作总结 财务工作总结 医务工作总结 安全工作总结 乡镇工作总结 党员工作总结 团委工作总结 公司工作总结 实习工作总结 班主任工作总结 党支部工作总结 办公室工作总结 学生会工作总结 总结报告 工作报告 政府报告 述职报告 述廉报告 考察报告 自查报告 情况报告 调研报告 调查报告 申请报告 辞职报告 实习报告 验收报告 评估报告 汇报体会 工作汇报 思想汇报 汇报材料 情况通报 情况汇报 心得体会 学习心得 工作心得 培训心得 读后感 发言致辞 发言稿 开业开幕 领导讲话 动员讲话 庆典致辞 节日致词 新春致词 晚会致辞 追悼悼词 节目游戏 毕业致辞 思想宣传 组织人事 晚会主持词 会议主持词 婚礼主持词 哮喘 支气管炎 气管炎 鼻炎 肺癌 呼吸机 氧气机

Anonymous said...

中国呼吸网 感冒 支气管炎 气管炎 哮喘 肺癌 肺炎 肺结核 打鼾 鼻炎 咳嗽 咽炎 肺心病 肺气肿 鼻窦炎 鼻息肉 扁桃体炎 喉炎 支气管扩张 肺水肿 肺脓肿 肺不张 尘肺病 肺栓塞 鼻咽癌 鼻窦炎 呼吸衰竭 呼吸道感染 呼吸困难 口咽癌 咽部异物 喉癌 喉麻痹 喉头水肿 新生儿窒息 胸腔积液 气胸 胸膜炎 鼻疖 咯血 胸膜癌 急性会厌炎 禽流感 麻疹 风疹 猩红热 百日咳 呼吸机 氧气机 婉转的夜曲 淋过雨的空气 带著一根烟.浪迹天涯