Friday, August 15, 2008

The Old College Try

If you're not reading Drew Magary's Balls Deep column over at Deadspin on a regular basis, you should be. This week he pulls his gaze off the NFL, just for a second, so he can dump some haterade all over the top 25 college football teams.

Here's a taste:
11. Auburn

Fun fact: In the entire history of the school, no Auburn student has ever graduated. In fact, they don’t even plan a commencement. Everyone just kind of wanders off campus around March or so.

You know you’re a school that has low expectations when your main source of pride is whether or not you beat Alabama at something. Oh, look Auburn! You won the Iron Bowl! You’re the best school in all of Alabama! Which is exactly the same level of honor as being the lady with the nicest set of tits in a nursing home. Way to go.
The rest is just as good. Enjoy.


Mike said...

My personal fave:

14. Texas Tech

For those extra special Texas kids who are so dumb, they can’t even get into A&M. The "Tech" stands for “Teach”!


Noah said...

Seeing as how my Michigan State Spartans are spared the hate (because they are spared from having a championship-material team), I was thrilled to see U of M get its due:

Also, would it kill you people at the Big House to actually demonstrate some measure of enthusiasm? The only time that stadium makes noise is if some asshole’s phone goes off, at which point he is politely shushed by those around him.

No kidding. 120,000 fucking peple in the stadium and the ref can still hear me deride him.