Otto Man's busy taking care of some legal business today (he swears he thought the cop was a prostitute), so I'm stepping in to talk Simpsons. The mighty Simpsons randomizer (hat tip to the lovely and threatening Mrs. T for its creation) has produced a list with some big hits and some big misses, so lets get swingin'!
1) Thank God It's Doomsday. Oy, not how I wanted to start. This one's from a couple years ago, when my Simpsons watching was inconsistent at best. I have seen bits of it, though. Basically, Homer sees the movie "Left Below," a rip on the "Left Behind" series, and thinks the end of time is coming. That's pretty much all I got. If anyone liked this one, or can remember, like, one line, lemme know. 2/10
2) I'm with Cupid. Slightly better, but only slightly. Manjula's mad at Apu for being a workaholic, so Apu does a series of romantic things to make her happy (yeah, like that works in real life). The other men in Springfield decide he's making them look bad, so they try to sabotage his plans. There are a few good lines, of course. Apu covers his and Manjula's bed with wild flowers, which amazes Marge. Manjula asks if Homer's done anything like that, and she says "sometimes I find a pickle in the sheets." Sounds familiar. 4/10
3) Homerpalooza. Oh yeah, here's the good stuff. Homer is shocked to discover he's no longer cool ("You guys don't know Grand Funk?"), so he takes the kids to Hullabalooza, where he gets shot in the belly with a cannonball. Everyone loves it, so he goes on tour with the show. Cypress Hill, Peter Frampton, and the Smashing Pumpkins ("hi, we're Smashing Pumpkins"/"I'm Homer Simpsons, smiling politely") star. Flashbacks to Homer's youth are icing on the cake. 7/10
4) Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em. From this season. No clue. Can't even rate it.
5) Lisa The Vegetarian. Jackpot!! This may be my favorite episode of all time. Lisa becomes disgusted with the idea of eating meat and goes veg. Homer plans a huge BBBBQ ("that extra B's a typo"). Lisa suggests he serves salad, to which he replies "You can't win friends with salad." Those are words I live by, my friends. There's also the great bit where Homer asks Lisa if she'll ever eat ham, bacon, or pork chops, and she tells him they're all from the same animal. Homer says "Right Lisa, a wonderful, magical animal." I really really love this episode. 10/10
6) Bart's Comet. Another great episode. The main plot is about a comet that's about to hit Springfield, but my favorite part is the beginning, where Skinner is trying to launch a weather balloon. Bart gets his hands on it and alters it to look like Skinner's buttocks, and he attaches a big sign that says "Hi, I'm Big Butt Skinner." That just kills me. Anyway, congress is about to vote on a bill to authorize a big military mission to divert the comet, but at the last minute someone tries to tack on a provision giving money to the "perverted arts." Sweet. 7/10
7) The Dad Who Knew Too Little. From '03, and you can tell the vintage. Good one-liners, but not enough to string together a whole show. Lisa realizes Homer knows almost nothing about her, so he hires a private detective to find help him learn about her. Yeah, it kind of feels like they do this show every three years or so. 4/10
8) The Wife Aquatic. This one aired in January. No clue, yet again. I read the synopsis at snpp.com, and it sounds pretty lousy. No rating.
9) Lady Bouvier's Lover. A classic Abe Simpson episode from season 5. Abe falls for Marge's mom, and before you know it they're an item. But then Mr. Burns woos her away from him and almost marries her. In the end she doesn't want to marry anyone, she just wants to watch Matlock. Which is fine with Abe, and they ride off into the sunset (going in the direction of the retirement home). A favorite line from this episode comes when Marge gets mad at Homer for not doing a good job frosting her birthday cake: "You mean it's not Maggagie's birthday?" 8/10
10) Pray Anything. Not a great ending to the list. Another Homer-God one, and nowhere near as good as the one where Homer decides he doesn't have to go to church on Sundays anymore. It is kinda cool that the Lovejoys have to live with the Flanders, but that only gets you so far. 3/10
Now let's all have some salad.