"Let's see.... We need a name that communicates that we bring some lick-smacking soul in slightly doughlike bodies. How about ... "Juicy Fruit'?"
"Brilliant. Call the people at Casablanca Records and tell them we've struck gold. Gold, Jerry!"
Alright, let's bring the pain:
1. 2Pac and Talent, "Changes." Great song. Listening to it now, it's hard to decide what's more mind-blowing -- the fact that they made a riff from Bruce Fucking Hornsby into a great hiphop loop, or that the lyrics include lines like "And although it seems heaven sent / We ain't ready to see a black President"? Ah, 2Pac. If only you'd lived to see the Changes We Can Believe In. 10/10
2. Sacre, "Mad World" -- If you ever saw Donnie Darko, you'll recognize this song immediately. This was, I think, a Tears for Fears song originally, but this version is much better. Very haunting, very sparse, very Jake Gyllenhaalian. 8/10
3. Mountain, "Mississippi Queen" -- "Sometimes, I'm like yes, yes, yes, keep on rockin'! And other times I'm like no, no, no, don't stop rockin'!" 7/10
4. Paul Howard and His Cotton Pickers, "Drinking All My Troubles Away" -- This is off a terrific compilation of old country hits called "Hillbilly Boogie." A nice little number about a timeless alcoholic truth. 8/10
5. Dean Martin, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" -- Insert joke about Dean Martin and red noses here. 3/10
6. Ennio Morricone, "Money Orgy" -- This is from the soundtrack to a 1968 movie about a master thief called Diabolik. I've never seen it, but this glimpse of the scene with the song suggests it is one spicy-a meatball. 6/10
7. Louis Jordan, "Jordan for President" -- Jordan was called "King of the Jukebox" for a reason. This isn't one of my personal faves -- while "What's the Use in Getting Sober (When You're Gonna Get Drunk Again?)" is a classic -- but still a solid hit for the midcentury phenom. 7/10
8. Booker T. and the MGs, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" -- My wife likes Christmas music, what can I say? This is actually a pretty funky rendition. 7/10
9. Patton Oswalt, "Robert Evans" -- Normally, I skip past comedy bits here. But Feelin' Kinda Patton is one of the best comedy albums of all time, and this bit -- a long-winded ether-fueled routine about Hollywood movie producer Robert Evans, subject of the excellent The Kid Stays in the Picture -- is fanfuckingtastic. Attention must be paid. 10/10
10. Muddy Waters, "Evil" -- Hot damn. Easily my favorite bluesman, even though it's hard to believe his real name (McKinley Morganfield) seemed to be showier than his stage name. I could listen to the Chess box set all day long, and this is a terrific track. Especially since it's reminding me of how good Jeffrey Wright was as Waters in Cadillac Records. 8/10
Alright, that gives me a 7.4 on the day. Looks like I'm at three-quarters cool this week. Might be as good as I get.