I was hanging out with my best friend, television, this weekend, and events conspired to cause me to have a thought. The first event was our good friend Tom DeLay giving his goodbye speech to congress . Yeah, I teared up too. The second was a soccer game between Iran and Mexico. I figured with what we can all agree are the US's two mortalest enemies in one place, something awful was going to happen. Lo and behold, none of the Iranians tried to blow up anything, and none of the Mexicans tried to sneak across any borders. It was like they bore no resemblance to the Iranians and Mexicans we hear so much about from John Gibson and Lou Dobbs. I guess there's always an exception (or 22).
Anyway, with all those cheering (and therefore scary) Mexicans and the DeLay thing swirling in my head/television, it occurred to me that we have another immigration problem that our so-called MSM has been ignoring (the MS more so than the M). I'm talking about politician immigrants. I don't mean folks who come here to seek political asylum from their crazy home country (like Sweden), I mean politicians who are elected to congress but then decide to hang around the metro DC area after their term(s) has expired. Sometimes they get a sweet gig with an industry they were regulating 15 minutes ago, sometimes they have put down roots here, sometimes they just don't want to go home to their backwater town.
Please go home. Please. Now.
You are politicians, and now you are explicitly for hire. Do you think I want you ruining my gov't from the outside even worse than you did from the inside? Do you think I want my kids growing up with your kids? Do you think I want to stand behind you in line at the Starbucks while you abuse the servers for putting too much cream in your latte?
And believe me, this ain't partisan. You wanna guess where Tom Daschle lives now? I'll give you a clue: it ain't anywhere near the state he represented for all those years. Don't even get me started on pantloads like Billy Tauzin or Rick Santorum - that guy moved his whole danged family here, while his "home" in PA is only a couple hours away. How much you want to bet he stays right there in Leesburg, VA, after he loses his election this fall?
Now that I've acheived a high level of chemo-electric activity in the indignance region of my brain, stimulating me to ever higher levels of pleasure with myself and disgust for the rest of you, you're probably wondering, what can we do about this immigration problem?
Simple. If you are elected to congress, you must return to your home district after you're done serving. For 5 years, at least. After that you can move back to DC if you want, but trust me. We don't want you.