Friday, June 09, 2006

Friday Random Ten

This is a cover I've used before, but given the Republican plan to flog the No Gays Allowed constitutional amendment, it seemed like a fitting selection.

In fact, given Sen. Rick Santorum's obsession with "man-on-dog" sex, I'm surprised something off this album didn't make the National Review's list of the Top 50 Conservative Songs. Maybe they're more interested in Sen. John Cornyn's "man-on-box-turtle" perversions these days. Who knows? Who cares?

Anyway, the appearance of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Preserve can only mean that it's time once again for the Friday Random Ten. Let's do this thing.

1. Dilated Peoples, "You Can't Hide, You Can't Run" -- A nice little hiphop strutter from Dilated Peoples. This is off the 20/20 album which, sadly and surprisingly, features absolutely zero work by Barbara Walters. Still, some solid work. 8/10

2. Hal Kemp and His Orchestra, "With Plenty of Money and You" -- This is nowhere near as smoking as the Tony Bennett and Count Basie collaboration of a couple decades later. In fact, it's so mellow it seems like Hal's doing the vocals from beneath a pile of cold, hard, heavy cash. 4/10

3. Raymond Wong, "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained" -- This is, for all intents and purposes, the theme music to Kung Fu Hustle. If you've seen the film, this plays through the very cool scene with the introduction of the Ax Gang. Nicely sinister. 6/10

4. King Curtis and the Kingpins, "Whole Lotta Love" -- An R&B cover of the Zepplin classic. Which is only fitting, since that song was a cover of several earlier blues and rock tunes, especially Muddy Waters' brilliant "You Need Love." Not too bad, though there are moments where it seems a little Muzaky. 7/10

5. Johnny Cash, "Orange Blossom Special" -- One of the three thousand railroad songs by the Man in Black. This is actually a bit of a disappointment, a fairly conventional country number with a harmonica front and center. Eh. 5/10

6. James Brown, "Sweet Little Baby Boy" -- Every Christmas during his prime, JB would put out a single to celebrate the season. Some of them are hilariously funky ("Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto") but this is actually a sweet number with strings and some soulful lyrics. 7/10

7. Jose Gonzalez, "Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- As pre-eminent as Sam Beam has been with the acoustic covers, Jose Gonzalez is even better. He's done phenomenal versions of "Heartbeats," "Teardrop" and others, but this is a masterpiece. He's playing a free show here at Central Park's Summer Stage, and to say I'm excited about it is the king of all understatements. 10/10

8. Pavement, "Here" -- A nice slow track from Slanted and Enchanted, their first and, in my opinion, best album. 7/10

9. Buck Owens, "Waiting in Your Welfare Line" -- How can you not love a country classic that begins with the line, "I got the hunnnnn-gries for your love"? One of my favorite tunes by the boy from Bakersfield, a sweet, off-kilter ballad. Great stuff. 9/10

10. The Doors, "Strange Days (Thievery Corporation Remix)" -- This is an absolutely brilliant remix of a classic rock standard. I can't for the life of me remember where i found this, but I'm glad I did. The music is entirely new, but Morrison's vocals seem to be tailor-made for it. Or perhaps vice versa. Whatever. 9/10

Alright, that gives me an even 7.0 average. After weeks and weeks of coolness audits in the 6.0 range, it's nice to finally break through to a Gentleman's C. If only I were, in fact, a gentleman.

I'm sure the rest of you yahoos can do better than that. Assuming that Blogger isn't buggered again today, please feel free to drop your own FRTs in the comments below.


TravisG said...

Whoo. That is one gay dog.

Smitty said...

My goal was to download the entire "Top Conservative Songs" list and do an FRT from there, but common sense and beer got me all sidetracked.

Wild Beast said...

1. Good Day not to Die - PoPad. I refuse to rate one of my own songs. From an objective point of view I can say this song always seemd to be a real crowd pleaser, however, this recording is absolute dog poop.

2. Vamos - Pixies. 3/10. Not one of my favorites by the Pixies especially on shuffle. I know this forum has a definite pro-Pixies stance, so I will say that I'm sure Kim Deal was hot while they recorded this was recorded.

3. The Bitter Thoughts of Little Jane - Timon. 5/10. Musically it is safe (although the flute outro is a little unusual) but I do like the lyrics.

4. Glory - Television. 6/10. I've always really liked the verses on this pop-friendly tune, but the chorus is about as boring as they get.

5. Valet Parking - Super Furry Animals. 2/10. I like most of their work, but not this song. This song, in fact, sucks.

6. What More Can I Say - Jay-Z. 2/10. I can't say that I am at all entertained by the Gladiator (Crowe not Gooding Jr./Dennehy) clip at the intro... and that's the highlight of the song. My list sucks today. Of all the Jay-Z songs that could have popped up, THIS is the one! Dammit. I don't even want to see what is next.

7. Beetlebum - Blur. 9/10. Ahhhh... that's the good stuff. Possibly not quite deserving of '9', but timing is everything and I was in a real K hole.

8. Lullaby - 7% Solution. 7/10. Big fan of this CD. It's definitely a song that works wayyyy better in the context of the CD than on random mode, but b.a. nonetheless.

9. All My Colours - Echo & the Bunnymen. 1/10. I hate almost everything the Bunneymen ever did. Every time one of their songs pops up I make a mental note to take them off my iPod, but I'm just too damn lazy. Lesson learned? We'll see.

10. Waterfall - Stone Roses. 10/10. loveitloveitloveit!!! Absolute classic. Almost made enduring through the other 9 songs worth it. Almost.

And I almost forgot... My friends and I made a trip to Mulligans to eat the infamous hamdog and the Luther (the hamburger served on a donut). Pictures were taken. Arteries were clogged. Pics and more details to come.

Dr. Milton von Fünkdoctorspock said...

1. Jawbox, “Mirrorful”- While you’ve got to respect indie rockers who hang it up in their prime, for selfish reasons you’ve got to ask WTF? Gone, not forgotten, and forever rockin’. 9/10

2. Moby, “If Things Were Perfect”- …they would sound like Play. Unfortunately, Moby apparently agrees with me and every album he’s made since Play sounds like Play. Shake things up, Mobes! Attention span fading… fading… fading. 7/10

3. Blur, “Parklife”- This song trailblazed the Art Brut/Arctic Monkey sound that’s a British staple… a freaking decade before those bands broke! If Damon Albarn somehow continues to steadily improve as a songwriter (nary a bad song on Demon Days or Think Tank), he’ll write the song that makes Israel and Palestine get along. 7/10

4. Black Sheep, “Yes”- Q: Where are they now? A: In heavy rotation on the Fünkdoctorspock’s ‘Pod. You know how in sports people often chant, “Overrated”? At a Black Sheep show I would chant, “Underrated!” 8/10

5. Garbage, “When I Grow Up”- Every time a new Garbage record comes out I think, “Yeah, right. Just not a priority anymore,” but then I break down and buy it a month or two later, and every single time it’s outstanding. 8/10

6. Sir Mix-A-Lot, “Baby Got Back”- As a teenager, this was definitely my favorite song about anal sex. My second favorite was MC Nobody’s Daddy’s “How to Get it On Without Getting Pregnant.” I listen to this song when I’m on the subway, and I turn it up really loud and move my headphones slightly off my ears so everyone knows what I’m listening to. The look on their faces says, “That guy knows how to party.” 5/10

7. Bloc Party, “This Modern Love”- The Fünkdoctorspock’s number one exercise album from the last couple years. He can always bang out ten more crunchies to “Positive Tension.” 9/10

8. Bruce Springsteen, “Hungry Heart”- Why does The River always come up for the Boss when I shuffle? Songs like these mark his transition from singing about long, desolate stretches of country road and small town cops to, well, a hungry heart for example. 5/10

9. Cream, “I Feel Free”- Who invited the seventies to this party? My sailboat just stopped flying towards a FRT PB. Thanks. 6/10

10. Grandaddy, “Charsengrafs”- Speaking of bands hanging up their geetars too soon…. I just listened to this album yesterday! The Sophtware Slump is the best album from one of my fave bands of the last five years. Speaks to the enginerd in me. 9/10

I think 73 actually is a FRT PB. That means the house cleaning that usually results from these hoedowns is working. So keep up the good work, FRT. You're all right.

Thrillhous said...

Stupid blogger has been very unkind lately, so I'm gonna keep this simple.

1) Susie Q - CCR. Good, but a little long. 6/10

2) Pennyroyal Tea - Nirvana. Great tune! Took me awhile to get the drift of the lyrics, though. 8/10

3) Disappearing One - Cornell. Song off his solo album that I wish would disappear. 2/10

4) Reflection - Tool. Mixture of Tool's good stuff and bad stuff (weird whale song crap). 7/10

5) Poor Tom - Zepp. A song about a guy shooting his wife cuz she cheated on him. Why isn't this on that conservative list? 9/10

6) Over the Mountain - Ozzy. Great Friday tune, as are most Ozzy songs. 8/10

7) Are You Ready Eddy - ELP. Fun ditty devoted to their producer. 7/10

8) Deer Dance - System of a Down. I like these guys, but this song don't really do it for me. 5/10

9) Bark at the Moon - Ozzy. Classic Oz, but this is my least favorite Oz geetarist. 7/10

10) I think I'm going bald - Rush. Didn't I have this one last week? FRT is trying to tell me something. 8/10

Have a great weekend, folks!

Otto Man said...

Who's the Black Sheep? What's the Black Sheep?
Don't know who I am, or when I'm coming so you sleep....

TravisG said...

"Unstoppable," Force of Nature -- This song pretty much has it all. And, by "all," I mean, "lots of cowbell." It's some of that space disco stuff that's floating around these days and, as far as I can tell, it's all fucking amazing. 10/10

"I'm Five Years Ahead of My Time," The Third Bardo -- Ooh, Nuggets. 8/10

"Lo Boob Oscillator, Stereolab -- I like Stereolab, but I don't love 'em. Sue me. 7/10

"Stop Bothering Michael Jackson," Mu -- A really weird song by a really weird band. They walk a fine line between "interesting" and "annoying." I will say their song "Chair Girl" fucking rules. 8/10

"Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted," The Partridge Family -- Ahahaha. 2/10

"Shavin Makes A Reservation," Crank Yankers -- This is actually pretty funny. I won't delete it just yet. 5/10

"Heaven," Psychedelic Furs -- Not one of my favorites by them. 4/10

"Daisy Chain 4 Satan," My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult -- As a matter of fact, I was taking a lot of acid back in 1991. 7/10

"Paper Plane," Status Quo -- Did you know they had songs besides "Pictures of Matchstick Men"? Me, neither. 6/10

"Out of Step," Soft Pink Truth -- A glitchy cover of the Minor Threat manifesto. It wears out its welcome almost immediately. 4/10

Otto Man said...

"Shavin Makes A Reservation," Crank Yankers -- This is actually pretty funny.

"Aw, you want me all to yourself? I'm sexy like that."

The Doc said...

Nothing like a little FRT to make writing assessment reports just fly by!

1. I've Been Loving You Too Long - Otis Redding. I've got a soft spot for a slow-burning R&B song, and this is just a great one. 9/10.
2. Pasties & A G-String - Tom Waits. Waits spewing beautiful poetry about strippers over a crazy drumbeat. What's not to love? 8/10.
3. Now - NoMeansNo. Absolutely superb, up-tempo song from the Victoria punk legends. 9/10.
4. I Loves You, Porgy - Miles Davis. I think this popped up previously, so hopefully I'm not repeating myself when I say: I love this song, but not this interpretation. 5/10.
5. By The Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers. This song rocks so hard, it makes autistic children get down. And no, that's not a joke. 9/10.
6. Lush Life - Johnny Hartman. The man has a beautiful voice, but this song's never really done it for me. 5/10.
7. I'm A Boy - The Who. Average British pop about a dysfunctional upbringing. 6/10.
8. Ball & Biscuit - The White Stripes. Mmmm. This is a really good one, even for the Stripes. 9/10.
9. Last - Nine Inch Nails. Huh, that takes me back to High School. Decent enough, I suppose. 6/10.
10. Come On Lion - Sarah Harmer. And this FRT ends on a downtempo note. I like Sarah, but this is kind of disappointing. 5/10.

That gives me an 71/100, which is about par for my course.

Anonymous said...

Pssst. Otto Man. I have another Radiohead show for you, last week's first Toronto gig. Astounding quality, some new songs:

-Brad R.

Otto Man said...

Outstanding. You're the gift that keeps on giving, Brad.