Friday Random Ten

This is a cover I've used before, but given the Republican plan to flog the No Gays Allowed constitutional amendment, it seemed like a fitting selection.

In fact, given Sen. Rick Santorum's obsession with "man-on-dog" sex, I'm surprised something off this album didn't make the National Review's list of the Top 50 Conservative Songs. Maybe they're more interested in Sen. John Cornyn's "man-on-box-turtle" perversions these days. Who knows? Who cares?

Anyway, the appearance of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Preserve can only mean that it's time once again for the Friday Random Ten. Let's do this thing.

1. Dilated Peoples, "You Can't Hide, You Can't Run" -- A nice little hiphop strutter from Dilated Peoples. This is off the 20/20 album which, sadly and surprisingly, features absolutely zero work by Barbara Walters. Still, some solid work. 8/10

2. Hal Kemp and His Orchestra, "With Plenty of Money and You" -- This is nowhere near as smoking as the Tony Bennett and Count Basie collaboration of a couple decades later. In fact, it's so mellow it seems like Hal's doing the vocals from beneath a pile of cold, hard, heavy cash. 4/10

3. Raymond Wong, "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained" -- This is, for all intents and purposes, the theme music to Kung Fu Hustle. If you've seen the film, this plays through the very cool scene with the introduction of the Ax Gang. Nicely sinister. 6/10

4. King Curtis and the Kingpins, "Whole Lotta Love" -- An R&B cover of the Zepplin classic. Which is only fitting, since that song was a cover of several earlier blues and rock tunes, especially Muddy Waters' brilliant "You Need Love." Not too bad, though there are moments where it seems a little Muzaky. 7/10

5. Johnny Cash, "Orange Blossom Special" -- One of the three thousand railroad songs by the Man in Black. This is actually a bit of a disappointment, a fairly conventional country number with a harmonica front and center. Eh. 5/10

6. James Brown, "Sweet Little Baby Boy" -- Every Christmas during his prime, JB would put out a single to celebrate the season. Some of them are hilariously funky ("Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto") but this is actually a sweet number with strings and some soulful lyrics. 7/10

7. Jose Gonzalez, "Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- As pre-eminent as Sam Beam has been with the acoustic covers, Jose Gonzalez is even better. He's done phenomenal versions of "Heartbeats," "Teardrop" and others, but this is a masterpiece. He's playing a free show here at Central Park's Summer Stage, and to say I'm excited about it is the king of all understatements. 10/10

8. Pavement, "Here" -- A nice slow track from Slanted and Enchanted, their first and, in my opinion, best album. 7/10

9. Buck Owens, "Waiting in Your Welfare Line" -- How can you not love a country classic that begins with the line, "I got the hunnnnn-gries for your love"? One of my favorite tunes by the boy from Bakersfield, a sweet, off-kilter ballad. Great stuff. 9/10

10. The Doors, "Strange Days (Thievery Corporation Remix)" -- This is an absolutely brilliant remix of a classic rock standard. I can't for the life of me remember where i found this, but I'm glad I did. The music is entirely new, but Morrison's vocals seem to be tailor-made for it. Or perhaps vice versa. Whatever. 9/10

Alright, that gives me an even 7.0 average. After weeks and weeks of coolness audits in the 6.0 range, it's nice to finally break through to a Gentleman's C. If only I were, in fact, a gentleman.

I'm sure the rest of you yahoos can do better than that. Assuming that Blogger isn't buggered again today, please feel free to drop your own FRTs in the comments below.