So the NBA finals ended last night, with the Miami Heat whooping the Dallas Mavericks. I didn't really have a dog in this fight (I'm a Zards man), but I found myself gravitating towards the Mavs. Their style of play is up tempo and fun, and they have the most entertaining of all sports owners, Mark Cuban.
But then I thought about Hitler. I know, the moment you mention Hitler you've lost the debate, but I don't mean live Hitler, I mean dead Hitler.
The Mavs undisputed superstar is Dirk Nowitzky, a 7-footer with the shooting skills of a small guy. Really great player, and from all I've seen, a very decent person. The Heat have two bigtime players, but Shaquille O'Neal is the star. So I'm thinking, you've got the big blond German guy on one team and the big black American guy on the other team. 1936 Olympics, anyone?
Live Hitler was all about how his German runner was going to put Jesse Owens to shame, forever proving the superiority of the Aryan race. That didn't work out, so he invaded Poland. How do you think dead Hitler feels about this year's NBA finals? Despite the fact that Dirk and the rest of Germany (and the world) have utterly repudiated live Hitler's theories, I think dead Hitler was thinking "Rematch, baby!" And after the Heat lost the first 2 games faster than France could surrender to live Hitler, it looked like dead Hitler was going to get his way.
You can see the quandry I was in. I liked the Mavs, but I really didn't like the idea of rooting for the same team as dead Hitler. So about halfway through the series I went with Miami, and Miami beat dead Hitler's chosen team worse than Owens beat that runner back in '36. I hope dead Hitler was spinning in his grave.
But I want to show a little love to the Mavs, so let me pass on this morsel Mark Cuban wrote on his own blog about answering questions from the press.
Last night in the locker room after we lost in overtime to the heat. I was asked by reporters to answer some questions. I told them i would if they asked good questions and didnt ask the same cliche’d questions they had asked after otherHe's sayin' what I'm thinkin'! Lordy do I hate postgame interviews.
games. It was interesting how quiet everyone got. then someone asked “Is this your worst loss ever”. What the fuck kind of question is that ? Is this for a VH1 special ? “Worst Losses Ever ?” If it was, then maybe it was a decent question. Otherwise, how do you answer that question…Let me think. Well we have never been to the finals before, and this is our most recent finals lost. The 3rd in a row. So that could make it the Mavs worst ever... The reality is that it would be a waste of both of our time if i gave him the “this was a tough one” answer, and a waste of my time to really think about it.