A few years back, when home brewing was all the rage in the metro DC area, I got swept up in the excitement and tried it a couple-three times. As master brewers will tell you, a good brew requires patience, attention to detail, and a basic level of cleanliness. Possessing none of these, I was unsurprised when my beers tasted more like lightly carbonated shitwine than a lager or stout or whatever it said on the side of the can. But they got me wasted, so I counted it a success.
The fad passed and the stores closed, and all my home brewing gear has been out on the porch for about the last five years. Last week I was cleaning up out there (a.k.a. making room for more crap), and I discovered two full, unopened bottles. The big kinds, like 2.5 beers each.
Question: What are the chances that they're not lethally toxic? I'm willing to risk blindness, but my life insurance has a clause about extreme stupidity. Doubt the wife could collect if I croak.