Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Executive Office

The more I read about the unfolding scandals at the Department of Justice, the more I'm realizing I've seen this trainwreck before. Upon closer inspection, it seems, the Bush Administration was the inspiration for NBC's The Office.

Hear me out. The comparisons at the top levels are unmistakable.

The boss -- whether it be George Bush or Michael Scott -- is a dim-witted, tongue-tied doofus who's in way, way over his head. Unable to inspire his employees with his intelligence or leadership, he uses frat-boy humor and gives out third-grade nicknames to try and win them over. He desperately craves their respect, to the point that he has to make-believe he has it by buying himself a "World's Best Boss" coffee mug or a "Mission Accomplished" banner. He gets frustrated that the world won't dumb itself down to his level, and this leads to the inevitable tantrums.

And the boss's egomania is readily stoked by his lickspittle lapdog, whether it be Alberto Gonzales or Dwight Schrute. Desperate to kiss ass, he'll do anything to make the boss happy, from cleaning his laundry to dirtying the Constitution. Although he gives himself titles to make him feel important -- Assistant to the Regional Manager, Special Counsel to the President -- he really lacks any appreciable skills other than blind, pathetic loyalty. He likes to think of himself as a leader, too, but is actually even worse at it than his boss. ("Attention, blue collar workers!" is about as subtle as "Everyone but the Loyal Bushies are fired!")

Just slightly down the food chain is an arch-conservative Christian woman whose loyalties are to her immediate superiors and her ecclesiastical ones. Monica Goodling, the 33-year-old graduate of Messiah College and Pat Robertson's Regent University Law School -- unofficial motto: "A third of our graduates can pass the bar exam!" -- is obviously the basis for Angela. Cruel and cold-hearted, she believes that eternal justice is on her side, and wants to bring down God's vengeance on whoever she can, whether it be Kelly from Customer Service or 93 dirty, rotten, disloyal U.S. Attorneys.

I'm not quite sure how the rest of the comparisons work themselves out. It's hard to find a role based on Dick Cheney, but I'm leaning towards the rage-filled Roy from the undisclosed location of the warehouse. Condi Rice is probably best mirrored by Jan, in terms of the influence over Michael/George, though I'm not so sure after the season finale. And for some reason, I'm seeing Creed as the basis for Scooter Libby. Must be the creepiness in his eyes. I'm sure we can brainstorm the rest, so drop your own suggestions in the comments below.

And before the purists complain, yes, I'm well aware that there was a British version of this show before the American one. But I heard they just fired the guy in charge over there. David Blair or Tony Brent, or something.


InanimateCarbonRod said...

That is some funny shiznit. Alberto is the perfect Dwight, especially if it is revealed that he grew up slaughtering his own dinner.

If Ari Fleisher were still a part of this administration, he'd be a lock for Creed.

Jan is totally Condoleeza Rice. A woman who is smart enough to know better, but full of self-destructive impulses that keep dragging her back to her husb-- I mean, her president.

And Meridith, the not-so closeted drunk who keeps exposing herself? If that's not the Bush twins, I don't know what is.

David's Test said...

Stanley = General C. Powell

Puts up with shit assuming somekind of Karma will help him out.

Otto Man said...

I like the idea of Meredith representing Jenna and Not Jenna.

Stanley as Powell occurred to me as well, with the head-down-and-hope-for-the-best attitude. But I also thought he might be Ryan, the guy who's too smart to be there and gets out before it crashes.

I was trying to pin someone on Kevin, the office moron, but couldn't come up with anyone better than Doug Feith, a.k.a. the fucking stupidest person on the planet.

And Oscar, the once-closeted gay man? I guess that'd have to be Jeff Gannon.

Andy, the Ed Helms suckup, is a tough one. And the drinking buddy of Michael's? Hmmm.


Thrillhous said...

Somehow I've managed to miss the TV show altogether. Wish I could say the same for the admin.`

Ra_wiggum said...

I like Pam as Dana Perino (Tony Snow's temp. replacement). Mainly because I want to do both of them. There is something sexy about Dana

Otto Man said...

Interesting choice, Ralphie.