Sunday, May 06, 2007

Handicapping the Field

A short while ago, we brought you McSweeney's assessment of the top twenty candidates in the Democratic presidential race. In the interest of being both fair and balanced, today we'd like to offer their take on the Republicans.

Here's a sampling:
RUDY GIULIANI
Pro: Unifying force after 9/11; articulate speaker.
Con: The whole "pro-choice, pro-gun-control, New Yorker, used to live with gay dudes, adultery" thing might hurt him with conservatives. A bit.

JOHN MCCAIN
Pro: Comforting resemblance to character actor Gavin MacLeod.
Con: Murray from The Mary Tyler Moore Show lacked leadership qualities and Captain Stubing from Love Boat got a little goofy whenever Charo was a guest star, leaving executive branch vulnerable to Charo impersonators who are actually Al Qaeda operatives.
The rest of the list is good. Personally, I'm excited at the prospect of Zombie Ronald Reagan and Kenny Loggins joining forces for the "I'm Alright 2008" ticket.

2 comments:

Mr Furious said...

Not quite as funny as the Dem version. But still good.

(funny how a thoughtful liberal actually appreciates the humor at one's own side's expense, unlike a kneejerk asshole rightie, who is no doubt totally pissed off by stuff like this?)

[pats self on back]

Otto Man said...

You liberals are so smug.