Saturday, November 11, 2006

Close Encounters


Yesterday's "Guardian" reported that Nick Pope, formerly of the Ministry of defense UFO project in the UK had warned:

"Britain is wide open to alien visitors and a department meant to look into UFO sightings is virtually closed down."

So this got me thinking. What would be the pros and cons of an alien invasion? I will assume they are friendly. If they are not, I imagine we simply die in some very efficient, very quick fashion.

Pro's:
  • Answer to "What would Jesus Do?"
  • Creationist Christians heads explode trying to rationalize God's other family.
  • Someone else for Madonna to shock.
  • Rush Limbaugh no longer needs to "carry the water" for this human race.
  • Tom Cruise vindicated for kookie-ass religion.
  • Joan Rivers look alike contest bigger than "American Idol"

Con's:
  • Alien basketball team beats Atlanta Hawks by 213.
  • Laws need to be established to prevent gays marrin' Aliens.
  • Aliens constantly make comments ending with "I crossed the galaxy for this?"
  • Branson, Missouri is chosen as first contact. Aliens reconsider.

Please feel free and add your ideas. Perhaps, we can convince the British government that they need to stop tracking their local terrorist cells and focus toward the sky....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Answer to question of "What do aliens look like?"

Unless they actually do look like little humans with big heads and big eyes, entire chunks of the Alien-Drawing industry will be out of work.

This could be good or bad, but the significance for society can't be underestimated.

Anonymous said...

I just have this terrible feeling that before learning anything about them or their intentions, the first humans to make contact would somehow so offend them, if not outright attack them, that nothing but terrible trouble would ensue.

Even without contact, can you imagine if they're zipping around in our atmosphere, picking up broadcast signals? So, among their first impressions are that shouting, raspy-voiced doofus doing hard-sell commercials for Oxy-Clean, or something similarly obnoxious.

Otto Man said...

I'd rather they mistook the OxyClean guy for our leader instead of the real one.