Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Bee Bit My Bottom

In a stunning rebuke to Queen, Spinal Tap, and Sir Mix-A-Lot, scientists in Ireland have found that having a big butt may not be all it's cracked up to be:
. . . bottoms are getting so big they no longer make a suitable target for injections, a study in Ireland has shown.

Many are now so obese that the needles customarily used simply are not long enough to penetrate the fat and reach the muscle, where they are aimed, Victoria Chan told the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of America in Chicago yesterday.

I'm not one of those folks who thinks our society is so venal and hubristic that our sins will or should bring about our downfall (we've got at least 50 more years of hard-core sinning and hubrising, I figure), but wouldn't it be something if one of these pandemic viruses were to break out, our doctors heroically discovered an effective vaccine, but then most of the western world's population died off because their big butts prevented the vaccine from doing its job?

(Thanks to Mrs. T for finding this very important article.)


Otto Man said...

Excellent title.

But I think if the asses were too thick, we'd just inject in the thick flab of the upper arm. Or perhaps in the cankles.

Thrillhous said...

More likely they'll just switch to Keith Richard's favorite injection location: the eyeball.

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

Thick sera injected into a smaller muscle, which is everywhere else, would really hurt. And someone with a fatty butt probably has fatty legs and arms too, so they'll either have to have numerous injections, or the shot will have one heckuva long needle. gross I hate needles.

Promote weight loss with posters of 15-inch needles!

Thrillhous said...

I definitely like the "lose weight or face my friend Mr. Longstabby" idea.

This could be a boon to Richard Simmons.