Part of me refuses to believe that this isn't an elaborate practical joke. I mean, Lord knows that the Swedes have plenty of indoor time on their hands, and coming up with a disco version of SCTV's "Five Neat Guys" sure wouldn't be past them. Each detail is worse than the last. The toupees are so bad they're almost certainly a violation of the Geneva Conventions, and the outfits are more disturbing than Crispin Glover.Still, all appearances seem to be that this is on the level. The album featured here, "Stuff Party 1," has a sequel called -- get this -- "Stuff Party 2." And the band even has its own website, available for the forward-thinking and Swedish-speaking here.
Whatever.
It's time for the Friday Random Ten. You know the drill by now. Bust out your iPod, bust out the first ten songs that come out on random, and then, my friends, don't just stand there, bust a move. If you'd rather not stand against the wall like Poindexter, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit as well. (And yes, for quoting Young MC at length, I'm starting this week with a -3 Coolness Handicap.)
Here's this week's offering to the Rock Gods:
1. Iron & Wine, "Waitin' for a Superman" -- Sam Beam applies his usual dreamy/slipping-into-a-coma stylings to this Flaming Lips song, and the results are nicely mellow. Do not listen to this tune while operating heavy machinery. 7/10
2. DJ Shadow, "Building Steam with a Grain of Salt" -- This is from DJ Shadow's first album, Endtroducing, and it's about as mellow as it comes. Eh. I think my iTunes needs a shot of espresso or perhaps a handful of Trucker's Helper speed pills. 6/10
3. Berlin, "The Metro (live)" -- Alright, that woke it up. It's sad that most people only know Berlin for the slomo sexiness of "Take My Breath Away" on the Top Gun soundtrack, when this is easily their best song. Damn you, Maverick! Your ego is writing checks your body can't cash! 7/10
4. Edwin Starr, "Big Papa" -- I have a real soft spot for blaxploitation soundtracks, and this song comes from one of the best -- Hell Up in Harlem, the sequel to the illustrious Black Caesar. Originally, James Brown was supposed to do the soundtrack's sequel just as he had done the original, but I'm actually glad that the studio changed their mind and threw the task to Edwin Starr. This kicks more ass than Shaft. 10/10
5. Joan Jett, "Do You Wanna Touch Me" -- Speaking of asskickitude, Joan Jett struts it around here at her absolute peak. Funny, I was recently in Vegas and stumbled across a house band at the Mandalay Bay covering this classic bit of attitude. Not even they could screw it up. 8/10
6. Schooly D, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" -- I have no idea how they got Schooly D to perform the theme song to this show, but I thank my Mooninite overlords that they did. This is the extended version of what appears on Adult Swim, which means it rolls on for a lengthy minute and a half, making homies say ho! and the girlies wanna scream. 7/10
7. Southern Culture on the Skids, "Daddy Was a Preacher But Mama Was a Go-Go Girl" -- Probably their best shot at a mainstream breakthrough, but sadly it has the sound quality of an international call made from a cell phone inside Dick Cheney's bunker. Invest in some mics, kids. 7/10
8. Replacements, "Lovelines" -- Any song that begins with the words "slightly overweight girls need sex also" and then continues to read nothing but personal ads is fine by me. This was the 'Mats back when they couldn't decide if they gave a shit or not. Which is to say, when they were at their finest. 5/10
9. The Five Du-Tones, "The Chicken Astronaut" -- This is from a great compilation of obscure '60s R&B tunes called "Shakin' Fit." They're not talking about NASA's secret plan to launch poultry into space, but rather a coward who doesn't want to go into orbit. Odd, but surprisingly funky. 10/10
10. Frank Sinatra, "The Coffee Song (They've Got an Awful Lot of Coffee in Brazil)" -- A light-hearted offering from the Chairman of the Board that speaks to the oppressive javocracy that rules many South American countries. Apparently, a politician's daughter was arrested for drinkin' water in Brazil. Who knew? 6/10
Let's see. That's 73 points in all, minus the 3 points for invoking Young MC. That gives me a 7.0 average. I'm steadily slipping from my track record of solid Cs and getting dangerously close to the D range. (Luckily, I'm taking this blog pass/fail.)
Alright, it's your turn. Drop your own Random Ten in the comments below, or else crack wise about the ones I dredged up this week.
15 comments:
Is Karl in the extended AQHF song? If not, he should be...that guy carries that show on his broad, hairy shoulders.
The recent glut of album covers you have posted are truly disturbing and force me to drink early on a Friday. My favorite is still "Susie's Sixteenth Birthday," or whatever her name was. But this week's is a close second. Swedish disco looks a lot like current Swedish death metal. Being a massive metal-head myself, I always get a good laugh outta Swedish attempts at rockin' out.
Speaking of drinking early:
1) Founders Brewing Company Dirty Bastard Scottish Ale. Rrright then, lads. This is a wee heavy ale, no for the weak, aye? Molasses, raisins, and then the coup de grace, that heavy smoked-peat taste like you get out of a good single malt scotch. Thick and creamy. Heavy and complex enough, though, that drinking more than 1 at a time would ruin it. 9/10.
2) Dogfish Head Brewery 60 Minute IPA. Hazy amber color, citrus and pine hops on the smell. Big hops taste up front, moving from piney to fruity to a crisp grassy taste. Solid hops aftertaste, clean and crisp, without that nail polish taste you get with some. An extra bonus: this beer is bottle-conditioned, so you get some GREAT yeasty farts about an hour later. This is now a permanent addition to my fridge. 9/10.
3) Brouwerij Duvel Moortgat "Duvel": Perfection. Cloudy oragne, with a thick, chunky head that lasts throughout. Smelled of subtle spice, pepper and sweet malt. Smooth and extremely creamy, busy carbonation that lends a crispness to it. Prominent fruity esters, bitter up front, lending to a sweetness, then a bold spiciness like orange rind that mellows as it goes. 8.5 alcohol by volume..powerful. This is is simply amazing. 10/10.
4) Dogfish Head Brewery Punkin Ale. Another wonderful offering from this Delaware Brewery. Kind of a murky tea color, with a major pumpkin pie aroma. Like Thanksgiving! Smooth and creamy, just like pie. Sweet malt, kind of buscuity. FInishes with a strong spicey flavor, balanced by lingering sweetness. One of the best pumkin ales I've had. 8/10.
5) Great Lakes Brewing Company Cleveland Brown Ale. Drak brown with lovely frothy lacing floating around on top. Smelled of toast set on "dark" on the toaster with coffee brewing in the background. Medium body with a bready malted sweetness. Toasted flavor is prominent, followed by chocolate and ending with a hint of hops, slightly oily. Aftertaste is like toasted hops, if that's possible. Just a pleasure to drink. 8/10.
6) Great Lakes Brewing Company Edmund Fitzgerald Porter. This is exactly the way a porter should be. Carmelized sugar and chocolate smell, dark, alomost black color. Full body with enough of a malty taste to be damn near chewy. Caramel, creamed coffee, ending on a really biter hop to balance all that sweetness up front (otherwise it'd be like drinking syrup). It finished like...a brownie. Goodness me. 9/10.
7) Michelob Ultra. The person who brought this over to my house is never invited back again. YOUR HEAR ME??? NEVER!! Pale, smells of corn husks. Thin, watery, almost no maltiness, with an attempt at adding an "edgy" bitterness absent in most macrobrews that is laughable. Bleh. Insulting. Brewed to make money off of the low-carb craze. As boring as the poeple who care about that shit. Profiteering dicks. 2/10.
8) Coors Light. The same freak who brought the Mich Ultra brought this swill. This is the crap I use to cleanse my palate between real beers at beer festivals. Yellow-colored water with no flavor and all fizz. 2/10.
9) Pete's Wicked Ale. Now we're talking again. This is a great American Brown Ale. Ruby Red color, sweet malt nose, esters, with a mild hop aroma. Crisp crystal malt taste with...apples? The hops are not big in this ale, but leave a nice dry finish. This is a great fall-back beer, just like Sammy A Boston Lager. 7/10.
10) Coors Blue Moon. Yes....Coors brews Blue Moon. My universe collapsed a little when I found this out; a bit like finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist, or that my wife and her friends don't have pillow fights in their underwear every time there's a "girls night out." All in all, this is a standard, middle-of-the-road Belgian-style white ale. Cloudy orange in color with a vague citrus/orange peel on the nose. Lemony, fermented wheat tang, with vague spices and plenty of coriander. Very refreshing, crisp, semi-dry. Good all-around beer. 7/10.
The two macros...and weak ones at that...KILLED my drunkeness factor this week for my fridge. 7.1 overall, because the scroe was rescued by the amazing beer selection that found its way to my fridge this week. 7.1 leaves me happy with no hangover.
Smitty, are you sure about the pillow fight thing? My wife told me they always have those. She also said that most ladies have lesbian sex in the bathrooms of dank bars. She wouldn't lie to me, would she?
Thanks for the beer reviews, too. I think I'm going tohave to try that Dirty Bastard one.
I still think my wife is lying to me. I think they do. I am still searching for the videotape. I mean...why ELSE do they go to the bathroom in pairs??
I recently added a bunch of Pink Floyd to my collection on the advice of some of you lesser intellects, so let's see if any appear in the list. Otherwise, I'm sure it'll be a rockin' good outing. Who's bad, baby!
1) Gets Me Through - Ozzy. Yeah, it's poppy metal, but I love this tune. 9/10.
2) Mood for a Day - Yes. Perhaps the best acoustical guitar solo ever. Except for The Clap, another Steve Howe classic. 10/10.
3) Dusty - Soundgarden. Not my favorite 'Garden song, but it gets the job done. 6/10
4) When the Smoke is Going Down - Scorpions. Okay, now we're gettin' ready for some drinkin'! Have you ever noticed that 60% of their songs are about being on tour? They seem to be a bit short on song ideas. Still what a hot song! 8/10.
5) Jerry Was a Racecar Driver - Primus. Definitely does not suck. 9/10.
6) It's Been Decided - Prong. Dammit, much as I like Prong, I'm getting sick of them always turnign up in my FRT. Especially when it's always from Force Fed, one of their early and not great albums. 5/10.
7) Wish You Were Here - Floyd. Yeah. 8/10.
8) The Necromancer - Rush. That Necromancer is a real bastard. Come on, Snow Dog, save the day! 10/10
9) Siberian Khatru - Yes. This is the live cut of this song, which is even better than the awesome original. Bill Bruford is definitely a better percussionist, but you can't beat Alan White when it comes to being a rock and roll drummer. 11/10.
10) In Bloom - Nirvana. Very nice, but so very overplayed. 6/10.
Not too shabby, but I've definitely had better weeks. Still better than you people.
No Carl in the title song, I'm afraid. He needs a tune all to himself.
Does Steve Howe shout his name like Steve Holt?
Oops. Messed up there.
Here's my list:
1. "Jailbreak" - AC/DC "He made it out...[pause]...with a bullet in 'is back!' I grew up on the Brian Johnson AC/DC, but when you go back and hear one of the oldies...wow. Bon Scott could really belt it out. 9
2. "International Bright Young Thing"" - Jesus Jones Yikes. If those two songs came on back to back at one of my post-college parties, it almost certainly would have triggered a brawl. Jarring. 5 (at best)
3. "Dizzy" - Green Apple Quick Step Eh, used to be into this album for a while. That won't likely happen again. 6
4. "Rosemary" - Lenny Kravitz A good song, but the iPod seems to want to make up for rocking too hard on the first one... 7
5. "New Jack Hustler" - Ice T "How can I be down?" Me owning this CD was always something of a joke. The joke's on Ice T, now that he plays a cop on Law & Order. Talk about sell-out. Still, a fun song. 7
6. "Mother Goose" - Jethro Tull Can you say "minstrel-y"? 8
7. "Help Yourself" - Portable A one-hit CMJ intrusion into my life. I like this song a lot. Especially in the car.8
8. "I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow" - Soggy Bottom Boys I love this song. From the "O Brother, Where Art Thou" soundtrack. Aside from the fact that I think it is tremendous music, it just makes me think of the movie, and that's a good thing. 9
9. "The River Rise" - Mark Lanegan Solid solo material from the lead singer of the Screaming Trees. Kind of atmospheric, starts out with whistling and music boxes. 7
10. "Greedy Fly" - Bush Don't know if these guys still exist as a band or not, but over the last few years, I kinda thought it would be cool if Gavin Rossdale announced that they would be changing the name of the band due to the embarrassment of name association... Okay song7
7.3 average And it started out so strong... Now that I think about it though, that is probably an accurate average for a songlist comprised of only stuff I like. 5 being the worst and all...
I think my iPod automatically took the suggestion I made last week about spinning through a particular genre. This week, with only a couple of exceptions, it picked "Legends." Criteria included number of Grammy's won/nominated for, being prolific, selling gobs of tickets on their reunion tour, sheer longevity, being weird, being weirder, and, in the case of one guy, being so weird that he now has a plastic appendage on his face. I'll wait til we get there to reveal that one...
Andiamo!!
1: I Don't Wanna Grow Up-Tom Waits 9/10
I like that this weird dude with a creepy voice sings a song that might not be out of place in Neverland. (Criteria filled: being weird; longevity; proliferation.)
2: Icicle-Tori Amos 7/10
Not one of my favorite Tori songs. But it also corroborates my point about the clairvoyant iPod in that we've had a bit of a cold snap here in the Apple today! (Criteria filled: being weird; longevity)
3: Family Tree-Loretta Lynn. 8/10
Jack White has never been so cool. And hearing Loretta Lynn sing about her "babydaddy" is the best! (Criteria: Grammy's; proliferation; longevity)
4: Blue Jean-David Bowie 6/10
Not one of my favorite Bowie tunes, but see what I mean about the legendary status of this list? (Criteria filled: being weirder; longevity; selling gobs of tickets)
5: Gouge Away-The Pixies 8/10
SEE???!?!? (Criteria: being weird; selling gobs of tickets on their reunion tour)
6: Let's Roll-The Stills 8/10 These guys aren't Legends as they've only released one album. They are an oft-overlooked group from the Montreal scene and that's just fine by me except that I wish there was a touch more demand so they'd hurry up with their second album already. Dammit!
7: Vegetable-Radiohead
I never know how to rate the Radiohead songs. I mean, they just got progressively weirder (in a good way) to where their new stuff barely relates to the old but it's all great in its own way. So, after a bit of deliberating, I'd give this one a 8/10 because it's fairly sing-able for a Thom Yorke joint. (Criteria filled: being weird; getting weirder; longevity)
8: Oh My Golly! The Pixies 4/10
I actually kind of find this song irritating. I think in general my iPod doesn't dig the Pixies because it always plays their songs at a much lower volume than everything else. (Criteria filled: see above)
9: I'll Be There-Jackson 5 8/10
Who doesn't love this song? Shame about the plastic appendage, Michael. (Criteria filled: well, technically, none, and I'd bet they'd have to PAY people to go see them, but Michael's sure been around a damn long time!)
10: Under tha Influence (Follow Me) 10/10
I think Otto once said you could give a song such a high mark if you'd like to walk into a bar in slo-mo in it. I'd like to modify the scenario a bit. I want it to be a bar full of bad guys and I'm one ass-kicking hot chick in some leather pants and a tight top that makes my boobs look really great and I've got two big guns (in addition to my arms!) that I'm busting everything up with. The whiskey bottles, they're a-flyin!!!! And the bad guys are totally wetting their pants.
My iPod changed genre with this last track and went into Dirty South Crunk style for a bit. Ok, so this was a good spin: 7.6
Otto, I have it on a hot tip that Joan Jett will be performing tonight at the Knitting Factory shortly after 7:00 if you need a live fix.
The Doc's FRT: Now with 25% more disjointedness!
1. Now It's On - Grandaddy. Do these guys lose cool for selling one of their songs to a car commercial? I hope not. 7/10.
2. I Have Known Love - Sidecar. Apparently this is a cover, but I don't know the original. This is nice, in a mellow way. 8/10.
3. War Is Peace - Propagandhi. I am all for political Canadian punk rock. 7/10.
4. Meat Sandwich - GWAR. Not much to say. It's average-type Gwar. 6/10.
5. Boys In The Band - The Libertines. It's got a beat, and you can dance to it. Awkwardly. 7/10.
6. Hang The D.J. - The Smiths. Ugh. Could be one of my least favourite Smiths songs. 4/10.
7. Ending Start - Metric. It's easy to jump on bandwagons when the band's this good. 7/10.
8. TSP - Muse. I'm happy AND angry! 9/10.
9. I Am Canadian - DOA. Punk rock granddads. 8/10.
10. Pull Up The People - MIA. Shake it, madam. Capital knockers. 10/10.
Gives me a total of 73. Looks like I'm still punching above my coolness weight.
Sometimes, the music has to speak for itself...
1. Bob Dylan "I want you"
2. Missy Elliot "Can You Hear Me"
3. Talking Heads "Road to Nowhere"
4. Shelby Lynne "Baby"
5. Tom Petty "Breakdown"
6. Kasey Chambers "For Sale"
7. Willie Nelson "Whiskey River"
8. Yo La Tengo "Paul is Dead"
9. Roxy Music "Virginia Plain"
10. Luna "23 Minutes in Brussels"
Otto, I have it on a hot tip that Joan Jett will be performing tonight at the Knitting Factory shortly after 7:00 if you need a live fix.
Dammit! I'm out of town.
Thanks for the tip all the same.
I think Otto once said you could give a song such a high mark if you'd like to walk into a bar in slo-mo in it. I'd like to modify the scenario a bit. I want it to be a bar full of bad guys and I'm one ass-kicking hot chick in some leather pants and a tight top that makes my boobs look really great and I've got two big guns (in addition to my arms!) that I'm busting everything up with.
I think iRod has the same fantasy.
Holy shit, that's creepy. Nice call.
my friday, much like myself, got fucked early and has yet to recover...can't find my mp3 player but have been jamming to Lucero (Tennessee) and The Hold Steady (Separation Sunday) non-stop -- might have something to do with the speed and mushrooms, not sure, will get back to you on that....regardless, any best of '05 lists that don't include Craig Finn's minnesotan take on Bruce Springteenian modern day Americana with a concept rock opera of secular drug vice and religious imagery and subsequent redemption in the top five (okay, I'll be nice and give 'em top ten to work with) are utterly full of shit and should be ignored completely....otto, I have to take a little umbrage with the five on the 'mats, c'mon man, it's the mats and even when they suck their was a certain beautiful magic in their suckage...ORF, I thought I was focused solely on your umm 'assets' with all that milkshake talk, but now I'm getting a better (and bigger) appreciation for the whole errr, package - and nice genre picks, give your iPod a hug... doc, propaghandi and grandaddy gots their own cool and don't need anyone else to re-enforce or legitimize for them - toss in the GWAR, MIA, Metric (so hot, want to touch the hiney), and the smiths (dude, the smiths are still the smiths!) and you have one ROCKIN' FRT and a coolness quota that is higher than you give yourself credit for....volanta - i like slow dazzle but haven't completely embraced the hope sandoval comparisons (save those for the last town chorus) and ending with the DBTs mixed with Swans, p-funk and Sisters of Mercy - I think you kicked some serious FRT booty! ...furious, understated and majestic, nice FRT....
Post a Comment