Thursday, February 23, 2006

This Dream Date in History

Here's the question: Which historical figure would you most like to spend a day with?

You've got the entire world's history to choose from, anyone dead or alive. (But not zombie. That would be no fun for anyone.)

And you can pick almost anyone you want. In order to prevent President Bush from wriggling away from another tough answer, I'm going to disallow "Jesus" as a valid response here, and we'll declare off-limits all the other celestial deities like "God," "Mohammed," "Buddha," "Ganesha," and, of course, "Heidi Klum."

Also, feel free to set up the scenario. Would you like to spend the day kick-boxing against Gandhi? Cliff-diving with Franklin Roosevelt? Playing the "Match Game" with Charles Nelson Reilly? What?

Make your choice and drop it in the comments.


Otto Man said...

Mark Twain.

This wouldn't be an action-packed day, but it would certainly be filled with hilarity. Twain is a perfect combination of good sarcasm about society and brilliant black humor about political life. Plus, we'd be hanging out on a riverboat on the Mississippi, drinking bourbon, smoking cigars and gambling.

I'd take that.

jt said...

Karl Rove.

'Cause I figured Satan was off limits, what with the deity claus and all, and I didn't want to get shot by the other guy I was thinking of.

Maybe sit down over some good southern (that is, pork) BBQ and a pint or two. He's a brilliant strategist, and Machiavelli probably doesn't speak English (or like BBQ). I certainly don't speak Italian.

And anyway, we're all curious about the Dark Side, aren't we?

I may have to bathe in Purell sanitizer afterwards, but even so ... Figuring out what makes that guy tick (and how he lives with himself)would really be something

Isaac Carmichael said...

Does Heidi Klum have a sister?

Noah said...

The Dali Lama.

Here's where this comes from:

I was in DC doing some lobbying for a client. I was on my way into the Cannon House Office Building, which is directly across from one of the security driveways into the Capitol. I was standing at the corner, and started to step off the curb as I heard a bunch of cop sirens. From the driveway next to me and then sharply in front of me flew a couple of cop motorcycles, a big black car, and then a bigger black car.

I literally had to jump back up the curb a little bit to get out of the way of the bigger black car. As it passed, events being in slow-mo as they were, I saw in the back seat a little bald dude with purple robes, a sash and little round glasses. It was unequivocally the Laama (as Carl Spangler would say). I stared in wild-eyed wonder and slow-mo words came out of my mouth: "Hhhheeeeyyy...iiiitttt'sss ttthhheee Llllaaaaammmmaaaaa...." he looks over, smiles, and bows his head.

I flipped out. My life has been karmically balanced ever since. Thus, I must meet with the Lama and understand Buddhism better so I can acknowledge and pass along the good fortunes I've had in life.

Norbizness said...

A nice, pleasant dinner with Liv Ullmann*

*originally suggested by Doonesbury cartoon character Mark Slackmeyer sometime in the mid-70s

Otto Man said...

Interesting choice, Norb. You went with the sexual fantasy of a cartoon character who later came out of the closet.

Also, it'd be interesting to spend time with someone who's famous for saying, "It's better to wake up alone knowing that you're alone, than waking up with someone and still be lonely."

As far as the other choices go, very interesting. I'd like to see Rove and the Lama have dinner together. It'd be like matter and antimatter coming into contact.

TravisG said...

I would kickbox with FDR. I'd whup his sclerotic ass, I would.

Otto Man said...

I don't know, Travis. He generally had 60-lb. iron frames on those legs. You'd probably break your shins and he'd win by default.

Just like in WWII.

Yossarian said...

I have a couple - take your pick:

- I would desecrate a Texas State Monument with Ozzy Ozbourne

- I would beat the crap out of Good Charlotte with Iggy Pop

= Destroying a hotel room with Keith Moon

- Fishing than mass drinking with Ernest Hemingway

Otto Man said...

I would beat the crap out of Good Charlotte with Iggy Pop

Substitute Limp Bizkit in there, and you've got a deal.

S.W. Anderson said...

Frank Sinatra.

Probably the all-around greatest entertainer of the 20th century and the finest singer of popular love songs ever.

I'm almost allergic to entertainment stuff and celebrities any more. But Sinatra brought exceptional intelligence, skill and verve to singing, musical arranging, acting, comedy — whatever he chose to do.

To top it off, he was exceptionally durable, reinventing and updating himself over a remarkably long career.

I wonder if we'll ever see his like again.

Otto Man said...

Sinatra would be a close second to Twain for me. I'd pick a night when he was working the Sands with the Rat Pack.

alex supertramp said...

sitting on the curb with Smokey ... you know how we does it.....