Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Breakin' the Law! Breakin' the Law!

It's a banner day for the Bush administration, folks.

First, the Scooter Libby verdict was just announced, and it looks like he's been convicted on four of the five charges -- obstruction of justice, lying to the FBI, and two counts of perjury under oath. He's now staring down a possible sentence of 25 years in prison and up to $1 million dollars in fines. The money can't scare Cheney's right-hand hatchet, but I bet the prospect of being in jail until he's 81 isn't exactly sitting well with him. If Oz taught us anything, it's that "Scooter" is not a nickname you want in the pen.

Second, the congressional inquiries into the Walter Reed disaster are widening, with public outrage over the initial reports spreading into a wider review of veterans' care throughout America. As Krugman noted, this is fast shaping up to be a political disaster along the lines of Hurricane Katrina, yet another reminder that this administration can't do a single fucking thing right.

And third, as if that's not enough, the probe into the political firings of all those U.S. Attorneys is just getting underway as well. This one not only reminds Americans about all the corruption and scandal around the G.O.P. -- since many of these folks were fired for investigating Republican crooks or for not moving fast enough on Democratic investigations for the G.O.P.'s taste -- but also the way in which the Decider thinks he's above the law. Personally, I think this one's going to be big, unless it gets overwhelmed by the first two.

I really don't know where to focus today. It's like I'm fifteen and woke up on Christmas morning to find a four-by-four ATV, a Playboy bunny, and Walter Payton underneath the Christmas tree. I can't decide which one to play with first.

14 comments:

Mike said...

four-by-four ATV, a Playboy bunny, and Walter Payton underneath the Christmas tree. I can't decide which one to play with first.

Ohhhhh, I think you know which one the 15 year-old boy is choosing. (Same one the 39 year-old man would choose.)

Otto Man said...

Yeah, I had a hard time coming up with things that equalled the bunny. I guess I lose my power of metaphor when I'm this excited.

norbizness said...

And let's not forget that Judas Priest, years and years before Damn Yankees, first developed the trick of magical things happening when one played a guitar in the Breaking the Law video. Squiddly-biddly-BOW!

Otto Man said...

Nice Patton Oswalt reference, Norb.

Mr Furious said...

Mike, Yup. the 38 year old concurs. The ATV could be useful, and I suppose Walter can watch...

OM, endless appeals followed by a pardon. Scooter will never get the ass-pounding he so richly deserves...

Mr Furious said...

Nah, Walter can't watch.

Smitty said...

OM, endless appeals followed by a pardon. Scooter will never get the ass-pounding he so richly deserves

I'm with Mr. F on this one. Scooter gets the big pardon from Bush. Bush has never given a rat's ass about public opinion. He's a Lame Duck Prez. And was it the Prosecutor or the judge in the case that tearfully implored people to not pin all this bad stuff on Scooter, who's being set up to be the fall guy? Yup. I smell a pardon.

Otto Man said...

Come on, let me dream of Scooter in the cell block for just a little bit. I know he's going to get a pardon -- my prediction? Christmas Eve 2008 -- but I want the specter to hang there for a second.

Don't crush my dreams, dammit.

norbizness said...

He's so lame, he had to look up "obstructing justice" in a dictionary.

David said...

How much would you want to be that he is pardoned on the last day of the Bush "Presidency?"

He is free as a bird on January 19th 2008.

Mike said...

He is free as a bird on January 19th 2008.

Maybe the morning of January 20th. This could be a John Adams leaving commissions on his desk as he leaves the White House territory.

Otto Man said...

He is free as a bird on January 19th 2008.

Actually, as soon as he can get "Free Bird" stuck in Dubya's head, he's outta there.

Thrillhous said...

That's a pretty big Christmas tree.

I predict Scooter dies in a mysterious horse-riding accident.

Otto Man said...

I predict Scooter dies in a mysterious horse-riding accident.

Nah, if Scooter dies, it'll come in one of these three ways:

(1) Falls on a knife, four times.
(2) Anally raped by a panda, as per his descriptions in that book he wrote.
(3) Cheney-related firearms mishap.