Happy St. Patrick's Day, folks. Before you start slurring your vision and blurring your speech, let's get the ball rolling with an Irish drinking joke:
After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.Feel free to use this as an open thread for your favorite Irish jokes or, better yet, drunken postings of your own.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
4 comments:
That's a great joke. Can't top it; won't try.
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day , he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned.
The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but poor old Murphy passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"I don't think so," said the foreman: "He got out three times to go to the men's room.
all this time I thought the leprechauns were hiding gold at the end of the rainbow, turns out they were just eating a crap-ton of mushrooms and chasing it down with copious amounts of beer -- st patrick is my new patron saint.........
Seamus and Patrick were sitting outside the local house of ill repute when they saw a Baptist minister enter.
"Look at him," Seamus said. "What a hypocrite he is." "Aye," responded Patrick. "A-lyin' to his flock like that."
After a few minutes, the local Methodist minister also walked into the brothel.
"Another hypocrite," said Seamus. "Aye," said Patrick. "They should be ashamed."
After a few more minutes, Father O'Reilly walked into the whorehouse.
"'Tis a shame. One o' the poor dears in there must need the Last Rites."
WF
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