I know how much Thrillhous enjoys the raw, umlauted power of heavy metal, so I thought we'd go with this album by legendary race horse and metal group, Manowar.As you can tell by their Schwarzeneggarian physiques and the loin cloths that practically scream "Homercles cares not for beans!", these are some serious barbarian metal heads. They want nothing more than to crush their enemies, to see them driven before them, and to hear the lamentations of their women. Well, that, and to rock you.
In the spirit of Metal Mania, let's get to the Friday Random Ten.
1. The Afghan Whigs, "Be Sweet" -- I have a soft spot for the slightly assholish rock of Greg Dulli, and this song is a good example why. From the terrific album Gentlemen. 9/10
2. Interpol, "Untitled" -- This may be the greatest stalker song since "Every Breath You Take." A nice haunting intro, and then it builds slowly and a little creepily, as the lyrics turn menacing: "I will surprise you some time / I'll come around." If Homicide were still on the air, this would've made an episode. 8/10
3. The National, "Looking for Astronauts" -- Goddammit, I thought I'd deleted this from my iTunes. Die, die, die, you atonal piece of crap wussrock. -1/10
4. Diana Ross, "I'm Coming Out" -- My take on this song is a little warped, due to the fact that it came on the stereo as I was racing a girlfriend to the hospital with what turned out to be an inflamed appendix. I remember thinking, this is no time for stupid irony. 6/10
5. Danger Doom, "Space Ho's (Madlib Remix)" -- One of my least favorite songs off the otherwise terrific album, Occult Hymn. It doesn't work in every way. 0/10
6. Manfred Mann, "One Way Glass" -- An absofuckinglutely catchy bit of mid-'60s British Invasion rock. This is what Oasis thought they were doing. 10/10
7. Roger Miller, "Chug a Lug" -- I don't know why, but dammit I love Roger Miller. The cornball Hee Hawish humor of this one should send me running in the other direction, but he sells it. The lyrics and rhythms are pretty intricate, for what seems like a happy pop song about getting hammered. Ah, beautiful sweet drunk talk. 7/10
8. The Clash, "Rock the Casbah" -- Ever since I read that this song was listed by a conservative blog as one of the top conservative rock songs of all time -- I know, I know, the Fuckyouthatcherclash!? -- I've had a hard time looking it in the eye. 6/10
9. De La Soul, "U Can Do (Life)" -- A pretty bouncy, bassy number from Mosaic Thump. There's not much that De La's done that I don't love. 9/10
10. Tapes 'n' Tapes, "Insistor" -- I saw these kids last year, when they were the buzz of the music blogosphere. I was fairly underwhelmed, but this is a song of theirs that I liked then and still do. 8/10
Alright, rough week. I got a zero and, worse, it was my second lowest rating. Still, some big ones made up the difference, giving me yet another 6.6 average. It's the FRT of the Beast. It's in Revelations, people!
Drop your own FRT in the comments below, or let your Manowar freak flag fly and discuss some of my arbitrary rankings and self-indulgent commentary. No, really. It'll be fun.
11 comments:
That album cover is just wrong.
You eat a Snickers bar, you start removing your chest hair, and look at where you end up.
Otto, don't let some nutjob get into your head about "conservative" music, especially for The Clash. The Clash didn't have a conservative bone in their bodies.
And can I get a moment of silence for Anna Nicole Smith this week? No? O.K. I'll just move on...
1. Jimi Hendrix, “Rock Me Baby (Live)” – This is off the awesome Hendrix box set that came out a few years ago. It’s Hendrix. It’s live. It’s awesome. 8/10
2. Def Leppard, “Action Not Words” – Although I generally hate metal (except for that album cover), I am a big fan of Pyromania-era of Def Leppard. But this is probably one of the worse songs of this album. It sounds like a song that a lesser band like Warrant or Bon Jovi would write in the late ‘80’s. Meaning it sucks. 4/10
3. Guided By Voices, “(I Wanna Be A) Dumbcharger” – More lo-fi genius from Bob Pollard. This lasts all of one minute and thirteen seconds or about as long as it took me to type this sentence. 7/10
4. M83, “0078h” – This is the M83 I like. Tons of synthesizers, loud guitars, drum machines and unintelligible French lyrics. What does 0078h mean? Oh M83, how you confuse and tease all at once. 8/10
5. Cheap Trick, “Clock Strikes Ten” – From the At Budokan: The Complete Concert (although technically, I guess it’s also from the original album), I don’t know what the consensus is about Cheap Trick these days, but I consider them a highly underrated band. I saw them at a local club a couple years ago and they rocked hard. 8/10
6. The Who, “Amazing Journey/Sparks” – From Live at Leeds, this is when the Who rocked their hardest. God, I wish I could go back in time to this show and see them at their absolute best. But Pete Townsend would probably write a crappy rock opera about it called “The Time Traveler”. “Hello, Mr. Time Traveler, what do you have for me today?” “I’m telling you that your bands rocks from the future U.S. of A.” See, it would suck. 9/10
7. U2, “Bullet The Blue Sky” – Well, this falls strongly into the category of U2 music that I do like (which is about half their stuff which kind of shows you how ambivalent about this band). I don’t know what the fuck Bono is talking about here, but the guitar work and bass line are top notch. If they had stopped doing shit like “Angel in Harlem” and more stuff like this, I would like them a lot more. 7/10
8. The Flaming Lips, “Riding To Work In The Year 2025” – This is off the infamous Zaireeka, the 4 CD set that you have to synchronize all the CD’s and play them all at once to get the full effect. Although I have this album, I downloaded this fully-mixed version off the interweb tubes. I still haven’t figured out how to play all four CDs at once. This track sounds a lot like the stuff that they would do off their next album, The Soft Bulletin, but with more insane screaming. 7/10
9. Peter Gabriel, “Shock The Monkey” – I once heard that this was some sort of mysterious African tribal ritual which made this song even cooler, but according to Wikipedia, Gabriel has said it’s a love song. So one point off for lameness! This is one of my favorite videos though. 9/10
10. Tom Waits, “I’ll Be Gone” – My iPod seems to pull up the same artists each week. Not that I’m complaining though. I only have one Tom Waits album, but I think songs of his have made 3 FRT’s. This is more of the same Eastern European carnival music that Tom seems to favor. Nice use of a rooster here. 8/10
This week’s rating is a 7.5. A solid C average. Perfectly respectable. I’m not excelling, but I’m not failing either. Maybe I’ll try to apply myself a little harder next week.
Hey, back off of Manowar. They're in the Guinness World Records as the loudest band ever!
Now, get ready for the loudest FRT ever!
1) Foreclosure of a Dream - Megadeth. Oh yeah, metal bands lamenting the fate of small farmers. Heartfelt. 7/10
2) Seen All Good People - Yes. A fan favorite. 9/10
3) Blackout - Scorpions. Talk about your great songs! I don't understand a word they say, but I love 'em. 8/10
4) Outshined - Soundgarden. I can totaly see Manowar covering this song. 8/10
5) Catch a Star - Men at Work. Manowar, Men at Work . . . could they be related? 7/10
6) Say Hello 2 Heaven - Temple of the Dog. Very good, very overplayed. 7/10
7) Paint Box - Pink Floyd. Not much for head banging, but a really good, really early song. 9/10
8) Facing Hell - Ozzy Osbourne. Pretty rockin', but kinda formulaic. 6/10
9) The Wizard - Black Sabbath. Now we're talkin! Maybe Sabbath's best song ever, and that's saying something. 11/10
10) Money - Floyd. Man, do I not like this song. 2/10
Glad to see Manowar has inspired the levels of nausea and/or rocking I'd hoped.
No worries, Pedro. The Man will never ruin the Clash for me.
Otto, someone saying that "Rock The Casbah" is one of the greatest conservative rock songs of all time doesn't negate the awesome rockitude OR the leftist leanings of The Clash. It means that someone is an idiot.
1. Happiness Is An Option - Pet Shop Boys. Ouch. Russian choir, female lead vocals, Neil Tennant quasi-rapping. SO not cool. Oh, Pet Shop Boys, why can't I stop loving you? 3/10.
2. Eye - The Smashing Pumpkins. I just moved my Lost Highway soundtrack to the Motherboxxx yesterday and what comes up? Possibly my least-liked song on the album. It's okay, just not that great. 6/10.
3. Black Dog - Led Zeppelin. Woot! This is more like it. Nothing like a little Zep to get the morning rolling. 8/10.
4. New Speedway Boogie - Grateful Dead. Hmmm. This is a good song; nothing special, but it shouldn't get demerits for not being bad. 6/10.
5. Last Time In Love - Sloan. Roll the dice, and it comes up romantic Sloan-pop. It's singable, well-produced, and bittersweet. Good stuff. 8/10.
6. Svo Hljott - Sigur Ros. A little slow to start, but it ends up being really beautiful. Like most Sigur Ros songs, it works better in the album's context, but it's still good on its own. 7/10.
7. The Dark Of The Matinée - Franz Ferdinand. In ten years, this band may be a footnote. Right now, they make fun rock music. Fair enough. 7/10.
8. Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack. Ooooh. Spooky English trip-hop. Gotta love it. 9/10.
9. The Truth - Handsome Boy Modeling School feat. Roisin & J-Live. A nice segue from Massive Attack, although like I've said before, I prefer White People to So...How's Your Girl? (I added that last phrase because otherwise I sounded kinda racist.) 7/10.
10. Letter Never Sent - R.E.M. From the country-rock days. A nice tune, definitely better-than-average. Damning with faint praise? Maybe. 7/10.
And I come in with 6.8, which is about as low as I've gone on these things. I think I need to stretch more next time.
OM - That album cover is . . . it's . . . uhhh, it's . . .
And I also admit to liking Dulli & his suave, but angst-ridden, ladies-man thing. Gentleman was one of those albums that I used to go from loving to hating week-to-week.
Live At Leeds. What more needs to be said?
I like Thrill's FRT this week: one of Yes' best songs to fill that required slot, plus an ass-kciking Soundgarden tune.
And who'd have ever thought I'd see me some "New Speedway Boogie" here at the FRT? Nice. I dunno' whose back's that strong, maybe find out before too long . . .
But no one's back's strong enough to carry the image of the Manowar album cover. I need to go purge.
Incidentally, in today's NYTimes crossword, the clue for 25 Down is "War preceder" and the answer is "Mano."
Coincidence? I think not.
You can't escape the Chippendales rocking of Manowar, people. Just strap yourself in and enjoy the ride.
Uh, guys? Manowar is a a real band. The cover is from their greatest hits. If you're man/woman enough, you can even buy this album from Amazon.
Their website would indicate they play in front of/photoshop themselves in front of huge crowds and ride motorcycles on stage.
Of course they're a real band! Do you doubt my blogger integrity?
I'd encourage everyone to check out that website. Wow. I'm surprised Spinal Tap hasn't sued them for copyright infringement.
Can't....do....FRT....
Image...too....repulsive.....
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