I'm home today with a brutal case of the flu -- thanks for nothing, flu shot! -- and suffering through the heartache known as daytime television.
Having an IQ higher than the outside temperature, I naturally keep switching away from the news networks everytime they rush in with the latest BREAKING NEWS in the Anna Nicole Smith story. (Listen, every death is tragic, but I didn't give a shit about her when she was alive, and I certainly don't need wall-to-wall coverage of the legal debate over the final resting place of her breast implants. Sorry.)
The constant channel-switching would be bad enough under full strength, but with the flu it's becoming too much for me. If there are any inventors out there, I'd recommend you get cracking on a voice-activated remote control. Something that'll automatically switch away from CNN at the first mention of "Anna Nicole" or the very first syllable out of mouth-breathing Mussolini Glenn Beck.
No matter how high my fever's gone, I'm not going to care about anything along those lines.