I've hesitated using this album cover for a Friday Random Ten for a long while now. As disturbing as it is to see the searing image of Tino in his short short jean shorts -- or "jorts," if you will -- I'm worried that leaving this image on my computer's hard drive will only lead the authorities to investigate me as a possible sex offender.Anyway, as Tino's seductive gaze has no doubt alerted you, it's time for the Friday Random Ten. Take our your iThing and give us the first ten songs that stumble into the daylight. And if you're feeling frisky -- and I mean, Tino-style frisky -- then throw in a Coolness Self-Audit too. Even if it is, like Tino, "for the first time."
Here's mine:
1. Wilco, "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart" -- A song so perfectly Wilconian that they named a tour documentary after it. Just a little bit off-key and off-kilter, this slow strummer from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot really is the band at its best. 8/10
2. Greenskeepers, "Lotion" -- Lordy, Lordy, I love this song. It's catchy as hell, but you'll hate yourself for singing along, since the entire tune is written from the perspective of Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs." The song is absolutely brilliant on its own, but the video -- which syncs the song up to actual clips from the film -- is pure genius. 10/10
3. Irma Thomas, "Time is on My Side" -- I forgot to include this in yesterday's post on original songs that were better than the more popular versions, but this predecessor to what would become a Rolling Stones' classic is just phenomenal. She belts out the lyrics like a woman scorned, a woman that Mick Jagger could never be, no matter how much lipstick and hot pants he tries on. 10/10
4. Radiohead, "Everything In Its Right Place" (live) -- Normally, live albums are fairly weak reflections of the original work, but the excellent I Might Be Wrong strikes a nice balance between capturing the quality of the album versions and livening them up before an audience. Great stuff. 8/10
5. Earth, Wind and Fire, "September" -- A great song, and usually the one song I can count on for rump-shaking inspiration at a wedding. But if Aunt Reba is shaking her considerably large groove thing at the same time, I suppose the song can't be all that cool. 7/10
6. Yo La Tengo, "Cherry Chapstick" -- Hoboken's finest deliver the goods here on a nice strummy bit of indie rock. I think the entire And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out CD is terrific, and this song is certainly no exception. 7/10
7. Archers of Loaf, "Might" -- Two minutes of stripped-down indie-rock love. Sweet. 8/10
8. ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, "The Rest Will Follow" -- Not surprisingly, a band with the balls to use that as their name also throws a wall of sound at you too. Two drummers and what sounds like a half dozen guitars lead to a nice driving rocker. Solid stuff. 8/10
9. Blackalicious, "Powers" -- This song has everything you'd expect from Blackalicious, a driving beat and mile-a-minute vocals, but it also has something a little different for them, some tongue-in-cheek sassiness. Daddy likey. 9/10
10. Simon & Garfunkel, "The Only Living Boy in New York" -- Yes, I own the Garden State soundtrack. 8/10
Alright, that gives me an 8.3 average. Either I'm getting cooler as the holiday season nears, or just getting much less judgmental. I prefer to think it's the former.
Let's see what you've got, folks. Drop your own Random Ten in the comments below, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit.
7 comments:
Awfully quiet today. Did Tino scare people away?
Tino is pretty hard to look at, but he's not quite as fearsome as that talking head lady you had the picture of a few days ago. Man I was glad when that got pushed down the page!
My preview of this week's 10 doesn't please me all that much, but it's still better than the junk you people will be shovelling. Deal!
1) Cantspeak - Danzig. One of their slower, poppier songs. Not too shabby. 7/10
2) Dyers Eve - Metallica. Great song, one of my favs, from before they got all grabby about money and started using orchestras in their songs. 10/10
3) The Punk Meets the Godfather - The Who. I'm giving Quadraphenia a try, but it's not overly impressing me. 5/10
4) Five Per Cent for Nothing - Yes. A 30-second instrumental, which is about 18.5 minutes shorter than most of their instrumentals. 7/10
5) Bad Moon Rising - CCR. I've got to be in the right mood for CCR, and I ain't in it today (what can I say, my parents are visiting tonight). 8/10
6) Whole Lotta Love (live) - Zep. Wow, and Otto was just talking about the original Otis Redding version yesterday! Groovy. Actually, I love how it starts, but once it gets into Jimmy Page's attempts to make his guitar sound like a humpbacked whale, I pretty much lose interest. 6/10
7) No Memory - Stone Temple Pilots. I never, ever listen to this album. Don't even recognize this song. Must delete them! 1/10
8) Sludge Factory - Alice in Chains. Now this is a great song! "20 hours won't print my picture milk carton-sized." Tell it, Layne! 10/10
9) Ramble On - Zep. Zeppelin plus Tolkien? Step off! 10/10
10) Serve the Servants - Nirvana. Does In Utero rock or what? 8/10
Man, why won't Tino quit looking at me? Why is he grabbing what appears to be his pancreas region?
Speaking of grabbing body parts, grab your livers for the weekly random 10 beers in my fridge!
1) Brouwerij Corsendonk Pater Abbey Brown Ale. This is a Belgian Dubbel/Abbey brown ale. It pours nutty brown with hints of red, and such a huge and active head (about 5 inches) that I couldn't get a 12oz. bottle in a 16oz. glass on the first pour! Smells of toasted malt and burnt hops. Strong taste; big hops immediately followed by a powerful nutty taste, mellowed by...apples? Tasty, smooth, medium-bodied beer. 7/10.
2) Stone Imperial Russian Stout. Oh. My. God. Just f-ing try this beer. Shut up. Don't ask questions. Shhh.. Pours as thick as motor oil, but is soooooooo complex. Currants, raisins. Dark, bitter baker's chocolate. Sweet hops. Warm alcohol finish. Over 9% abv, by the way. If this beer was a woman, I'd....well, I don't want to be crude. 10/10. 10/10. 10/10. Fuck.
Screw Guinness. I found my new Gold Standard of beer. Stone Imperial Russian Stout. You heard it here, folks. I am dumping Guinness for a new girlfriend. Oh, me and Guinness can still be fuck-friends, but I found my new soul-mate of beer.
3) Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale. Pours amber red with little champagne-like bubbles. The back of the bottles says right-off that you're not worthy to drink this beer. Pretty much, yeah. Oily hops, piney, mixed with peaches. Tasted about the same, with bready yeast. Bitter hops linger on the tongue. Another amazing selection from Stone. 8/10.
4) Bell's Expedition Stout. This is another Russian Imperial Stout style beer. As good as Stone's? Not quite (especially since me and Stone RIS are now dating), but a close second so far. Espresso, vanilla, molasses. Tastes pretty much the same, but finish with a coffee residual and a hint of raisin. It'd be better with just a bot more carbonation,. but a damn fine full-bodied beer. 8/10.
5) Sapporo Premium Beer. Meh. It's okay. A step-up from Bud/Miller, which isn't saying much, but it's clean. Very little hops presence; none really. Cereal-like taste, like corn flakes, with some corn husk grassiness still in it. Fizzy. Yellow. 6/10.
6) Delirium Noel. Ah! A Christmas beer! And it is indeed CHristmas in a bottle. Sweet nose, literally like baking sugar cookies. Tasted spicy, like mulling spices were used (you know...like mulled cider). Fruity, like cherries...sweet fruit, like a Christmas fruitcake. It's a good feeling, happy memories brew. 8/10, for being interesting and warm. Awwww....
7) Great Lakes Brewing Company Christmas Ale. A Christmas Beer theme! Much like Delirium Noel, just slightly ever so less refined. Same sugar cookie scent, thugh this is a little more on the caramel side. Big huge sweet maltiness with little hops character; almost none, just a hint. Any more would be to get in the way of the mulling-spice taste and thick feeling you get in your mouth, like drinking sweet syrup. A "winter warmer" indeed. 7/10.
8) Victory Brewing Company HopDevil Ale. Pours rusty orange and hazy, perfectly as an American Pale should, with a slight orange head. Sweet hops nose, sort of like honeysuckle. Earthy hops right up front, big bite, mellowed pretty quickly with caramel. Very refined, and very very strong. Hops stays on the tongue, but is definitely not over-hopped like some smaller micros do it (like they just discovered hops for the first time). Dry and crisp. This is simply a perfectly-done APA. 9/10.
9) Rogue Brewery Shakespeare Stout. This is a massively-hoppy stout, with less nuttiness and toastiness as many stouts, especially Imperials. It certainly sets it apart from the crowd, relying more on hops for big taste, like pale ales do. Chocolate and nuts up front on the taste, which is tempered immediately with a dry hoppy finish, which is the opposite of what you'd expect. 8/10 for uniqueness.
10) Ommegang Brewery Abbey Ale. Dark borwn wit a decent head. Great lacing on the glass. Fruit and flowers on the nose; a perfect blend of the two. Big roasted taste up front, with some sweet cherry fruit and roses on the laste, with a lingering hop finish. Active carbonation, but a surprisingly smooth and mellow brew. Great belgian abbey ale, brewed in New York. 7.5/10.
People is at holiday parties...I had to do my FRT in two parts:
1) This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)-Talking Heads 10/10
I heard the Byrnester do this ditty with ARcade Fire last winter. It was so cool.
2) One Simple Word-The Connells 8/10
YAY! They're back with one of their best!!!
3) Easy Plateau-Ryan Adams 7/10
This is off his new album Cold Roses, which I have found to be a nearly flawless album. Seriously, Ryan, well done.
4) Reign-Unkle 1/10
This is off some Virgin Mix CD that I got for free and seriously needs to be expunged from the 'Pod. UGH! FASTFORWARD!
5) Peter Pan-Patty Griffin 7/10
Patty sounds like she has lead the toughest life of anyone I've ever listened to with the exception of possibly Johnny Cash. She is just a phenomenal songwriter and then she puts her pipes to it and makes you want to cry for her. But in concert, she's actually quite joyous. If you have the means, I highly recommend you pick one up!
6) Crown of Love-The Arcade Fire 7/10
Speaking of the Arcade Fire! And speaking of flawless albums....
7) Shotgun-Junior Walker and the "someone's whose name my iPod won't display" 9/10
This is a good Motown way to start off a Friday (along with the office holiday party I just came from...)
8) Natural Mystic-Bob Marley 6/10
I was listening to Bob the other night on the coldest night of the year in an effort to try to psyche myself into thinking it was warm and balmy outside. It did not work.
9) The Sky is Broken-Moby. 5/10
I have the music, but I didn't actually purchase it and this makes it ok. A tanker.
10) I Shall Believe-Sheryl Crow 8/10
This is also a fabulous album and then she just went downhill. When she started, she sounded like a 40-year-old woman who'd seen some shit. And now that she's 40, she makes music that sounds like Britney Spears' reject pile. Terrible.
63% today. Thanks a freakin' lot Unkle. Barf!
Have a good weekend kids :)
I've seen that album cover before, but it never ceases to Freak. Me. Out. Tino is scary.
And now, the special "Pre-Grad Edition" of The Doc's FRT.
1. New Killer Star - David Bowie. I started to like the most recent Bowie record after I saw them done live. This one's okay, although nothing really compares to Ziggy or Scary Monsters. 7/10.
2. Fake Talking Heads Song - Liam Lynch. Now, is this uncool because it's a parody song, or cool because it sound's like David Byrne? I'll take the average, plus one. 8/10.
3. Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters. It may be cheesy, but it's just cheesy enough. 7/10.
4. For No One - The Beatles. Paul plays piano plaintively, perhaps pining. Poor pop pap. 6/10.
5. Mary - NoMeansNo. Who's NoMeansNo? Oh, only one of my favourite bands, is all. If they're not cool, then no-one is cool. 9/10.
6. Happy-Go-Lucky Local (a.k.a. Night Train) - Oscar Peterson Trio. Seminal jazz work by a fantastic trio. To cool for me. 9/10.
7. Once Around The Block - Badly Drawn Boy. It's got a catchy, sing-alongy quality, if only you could actually predict the pattern. 7/10.
8. Am I The Sky - Jorane. Jorane gets the average starting cool of 5, +2 for having her main instrument be a cello, -1 for being moderately overambitious, and +1 for having a haunting voice. 7/10.
9. New Way Home - Foo Fighters. If anyone has ever seen these guys live, you know the anguish of hearing Dave Grohl's 'screaming = rock and roll' singing style. "Make my way back home when I learn to EEEAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!" This song is good, though. 7/10.
10. Feel U Up - Prince. Dang, man, what a dirty note to end it on. I mean, I like me the filthy Prince music, but it kind of leaves a bad impression. 7/10.
Grand total of 74/100. And now I jet, for I have grad ceremonies tonight, where I will have delicious wine. And as we all know, wine is excellent study fuel.
Congrats on the graduation, Doc.
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