Sheesh. Where to begin? First, there's the mystery of Heino. I can't even make out the gender here. Part of me thinks Heino looks like David Hyde Pierce in a production of "Sprockets: The Musical!" or perhaps Dwight Schrute after an unfortunate Clorox crisis. But another part of me seizes on the flowers and the groovy necklace and thinks those crazy Teutonic eyes just might belong to a fraulein. So hard to tell, and yet I never want to know.
In case your knowledge of German doesn't extend past what you've picked up from 1960s World War II films, the album itself is called "Dear Mother: A Bouquet That Never Withered." I'm not sure exactly what that means, but the sweet poetic language of the Germans is what they're known for, right?
Anyway, the arrival of Heino means that it's time once again for the Friday Random Ten.
For those of you just now getting onto the internets, the FRT consists of three simple steps. Step One: Set your iWhatever to random and give us the first ten songs. Step Two: Rate the songs on a coolness scale from 0 to 10, with 0 suitable for Lee Greenwood and 10 for Lee Dorsey. Step Three: Profit.
Alright, here's mine for this week. Come on, big bucks! No whammies!
1. Creedence Clearwater Revival, "It's Just a Thought" -- This is one of CCR's lesser-known songs, a midtempo number with a nice organ background and some great vocal work by Fogerty. Really sweet. 8/10
2. The Roots, "I Remain Calm" -- A blistering bit of hiphop from the clearly rhetorically-titled album, Do You Want More?!!!??! Another tune with a great organ sound in the background, and, as Black Thought himself tells us, lyrically he drops the bomb! 9/10
3. Zero 7, "Give It Away" -- Some nice, atmospheric electronica here. This is pretty much the ultimate in background music, since I never seem to notice I've been listening to it until the song's over and something more starved for attention rolls up on the iPod. Zero 7: The Quiet Child. 7/10
4. Arno, "Knowing Me, Knowing You" -- This is an unfortunate cover of the ABBA song, one recorded by a guy who sounds exactly like the Witch Doctor from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." And, sure enough, this song sounds Sofa King We Todd Ed. 3/10
5. Neil Young, "Helpless" -- There's been a whole lot of lovin' for Neil Young on the blogs lately, what with the supposedly great new documentary Heart of Gold and the imminent release of his 4,183rd album. This is a classic, though not exactly cool. Hmmm. 7/10
6. Sonny Boy Williamson, "Bring It On Home" -- A nice driving bit of harmonica blues from one of the masters. Willie Dixon wrote the tune and it shows. 8/10
7. Huevos Rancheros, "Drive Through at Molly's Beach" -- Aside from the great band name and the odd song name, there's not a lot here. Pretty generic retro surf rock. 5/10
8. Yo La Tengo, "Dreaming" -- A Blondie cover by Hoboken's finest? Sounds like a phenomenal idea on paper, but it falls short in the execution. I think the main reason is that Ira takes the vocals instead of Georgia, and he beats them right into the goddamned ground. 4/10
9. The Magnetic Fields, "Born on a Train" -- A fairly good selection from the Magnetic Fields at their peak, before Stephin Merritt apparently gave up sleeping and decided to fill the time with four different band projects. In an ideal world, this would be considered the perfect pop song. 8/10
10. MC5, "Come Together" -- A nice live track from Kick Out the Jams. If you're not well versed in the beauty of the Motor City Five, this isn't the Beatles tune but rather a much more asskickingly good song of their own. I'm not sure, but I think the song is about sex: "I am out, you are in / Let us form a link / And move in rhythms / Slide apart and slide apart / Come together / Together in the darkness / Come with me." Maybe I'm just reading into it too much. 7/10
Alright, that gives me a 7.0 average, a nice Gentleman's C. I'm not sure if I have to be a gentleman about it, though. In your face, Flanders!
Let's see what you've got this week. Drop your own FRT in the comments below, or let loose your mockery on my songs or your outrage on my ratings.
13 comments:
Once again I must class up this joint with Man Music. I like to think Heino would approve.
1) A Saucerful of Secrets - Floyd. I think this is what you call experimental music, which is a nice way of saying it sucks. 2/10
2) YYZ - Rush. Giddyup! 10/10
3) Dam that River - AIC. So many metaphors for heroin addiction, so little time. 10/10
4) Wake Up - Mad Season. I like it. Is that so wrong? 10/10
5) Mission - Chris Cornell. I'd give it a 10, but any song that makes me think of Tom Cruise has issues. 8/10
6) One of my Turns - Floyd. Dumb filler. 1/10
7) Paranoid - Ozzy. This is a live cut from his solo years, w/ Randy Rhodes on geetar. What a badass. 10/10
8) White Summer/Black Mountain - Zeppelin. Not every arrow these guys shot into the forest hit a tree. 2/10
9) Phantom Lord - Metallica. Good, not great. 7/10
10) Manhattan Project - Rush. They kinda frenched it up in the late 80s. 6/10
Dammit! I just got the "My Humps" song, and it doesn't appear in my 10. Why is the world so unfair?
Once again I must class up this joint with Man Music. I like to think Heino would approve.
After reading this list, dear T'hous, I can only think that Heino is short for Heinous.
I still prefer Inspiral Carpets' cover of Paranoid. I know it's not to your liking, but I still got you spending all your money on me, so it matters not.
I've added more songs, so I don't know why this is still so James-dominated.
1. I Can Tell, Michael Penn 7/10
2. Goal Goal Goal, James
I think James is trying to make another song into a World Cup theme. 7/10
3. Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone), Cinderella
Woo hoo! Glam rock brings back the good parts of middle school. 7/10
4. Reflection, Tool 6/10
5. Hands in the Rain, Booth & The Bad Angel
If only Tim's solo work was this good. 7/10
6. Packt Like Sardines In A Crushd Tin Box, Radiohead 6/10
7. Scarecrow, James 8/10
8. Bad, U2 7/10
9. Eon Blue Apocalypse, Tool 5/10
10. Bunker Hill, Michael Penn 7/10
Once again I must class up this joint with Man Music. I like to think Heino would approve.
I think you and Heino have a different idea of "Man Music" than I do.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
As usual, the littles want to tear down a Real American and his Real American Music (except for the stuff by Brits and Canadians), but they have no ideas of their own, no vision for the future.
Okay, I have to admit I like "Goal goal goal" and the song it's based on, but man do I hate the La Bamba-sounding song that made James famous here.
By the way, Heino is a man, baby! You can even listen to some excerpts over at Amazon.
MC5, eh? Heard of 'em, but never really knew 'em 'til the last week or so. They opened a new library branch here in Ann Arbor, and outfitted it with all new stuff. New books, new DVDs, and best of all, new CDs. I have been burning a hole in my library card and ripping discs like a madman over the last couple weeks. It's like they tasked a college radio DJ wih stocking the shelves...MC5, Big Star, Killers, Modest Mouse, Fallout Boy...the list goes on and on.
Unfortunately, those tunes still reside on my hard drive and haven't made it into the Pod yet. Here goes...
1. "She Gave Me Love" - Getaway People A nice tune from whatever year everyone (and every label) put out some kind of alt/reggae/hiphop crossover. Think G. Love meets Sugar Ray. Or something. 6
2. "Rose Colored Glasses" - School of Fish Solid song from a good band that had a couple of albums in the early '90s. "Three Strange Days" was their breakout hit. 7
3. "My Dooorbell" - The White Stripes I'm not even going to pretend I'm not the last guy on the Jack White bandwagon...but I am on board, and in the front row. This might be the best song to hit the radio in ten years. The man is a goddamn genius. How he can do a song like this that is like the Jackson 5 with serious balls, and at the same time completely eschew the guitar (he is a standout axeman) and have it all work, is amazing.
It's big news here in the Detroit area that some punk-ass ex-co-producer is suing The Stripes for royalties because he claims to have created "their sound." Good luck with that one, douchebag.10
4. "Silverfuck" - Smashing Pumpkins I'm pretty sure Billy Corgan still had his hair when hey laid this track down. Once he shaved his head and got all artsy, things started going downhill for these guys... 9
5. "Monkey Man" - Rolling Stones One of my favorite songs off of my favorite Stones album. "Let It Bleed" was a tour de force. When "You Can't Always Get What You Want" is the worst song on the album, it's pretty potent stuff. 9
6. "Deaf, Dumb, Blind'" - NRBQ "Well, get yerself a hearing aid!" Standard fare from the New Rythym and Blues Quartet. 7
7. "Louder Than A Bomb" - Public Enemy "Yo, I ain't milquetoast!" I can't listen to this album and not think how weird it is that Chuck D has an Air America radio show. What about Flavor? Professor Grif? 9
8. "Oddfellows Local 151" - REM SCREEEEEEEEECCHHH! It's not actually that bad of a song, but after the roll I was on, and the hard-driving beats, this is definitely not what I wanted. 5
9. "Girl From a Pawnshop (live)" - Black Crowes Feh. Momentum has officially shifted. 5
10. "Colorful Revolution" - Red Walls So much like solo Lennon, it's kind of crazy. I suppose that's a good thing. 7
7.3 average. We were really humming along there for a few tracks before Stipe & Company ran us off the road...
Yep, looks like Niles to me...
1)AIC-Rooster. Vietnam vets got spit upon by hippies, Iraq vets get their benefits slashed...we've come a long way baby! (7/10)
2)No Doubt- Different People. Gwen was a lot cuter when she wasn't so full of herself. Her music was better, too. It's got a good beat, and you can dance to it!(7/10)
3)Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs-Y Control. It's good, damn good. But minus one point for losing indie credibility for being played on corporate radio (7/10)
4)Foo Fighters- Times Like These. Dave Grohl says this is maybe the best song he's ever wrote. I guess I could see that...(7/10)
5)Blur- Chinese Bombs. Fun little song that breaks me out of the 7/10 streak. (8/10)
6)Ben Folds Five- Steven's Last Night in Town. Wow, I'm on fire today! (8/10)
7)Shiver- Coldplay. I know, I know. Coldplay is decidedly uncool, but I have great emories associated with this album. (6/10)
8)Pink Floyd- Us and Them. Good song if you're in the right mood. Unfortunately, I'm not high at the moment. (5/10)
9)White Stripes- Fell in Love with a Girl. I don't care what anyone else says, this is a great rock 'n' roll song. And this version is way, way, way better than the Joss Stone version. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. (10/10)
10)Janice Joplin- Me and Bobby McGee. God I hate this song! "Look at me, I'm a hippie! Up with people! Bomb Vietnam! Four more years!" (1/10)
6.6
(Stupid Janis Joplin!)
I went with only songs from soundtrack albums this week, so it probably skewed my results:
1. "When You're Good to Mama" - Queen Latifah from "Chicago". I'm not sure there's a pop culture figure that I like the idea of more than Latifah. The fact that a larger woman is a Cover Girl spokesmodel (and still stunning) is a Good Thing, I think. 7/10.
2. "Darshan" - B21 from "Bend It Like Beckham". What? I like soccer. I like Keira Knightley. And this soundtrack isn't half bad, even if it has at least 2 songs by former spice girls. In case you're wondering, this is the Punjabi-rap-over-Knight-Rider-theme track. 6/10.
3. "Jayne's Blue Wish" - Tom Waits from "Big Bad Love". I've never actually seen this movie, but the soundtrack is a phenomenal collection of blues/roots stuff (including the ridiculously good remixed version of "I Love You" by Asie Payton.) Tom Waits frightens me. 5/10.
4. "Hakuna Matata" - Timon and Puumba from "The Lion King". My first job ever was as a movie usher the summer "Lion King" came out, so I've seen the movie about 473 times. I'm a sucker, so 9/10.
5. "Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) - Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel from "The Full Monty". Pedestrian Brit-pop. 6/10.
6. "Stars and Stripes Forever" - Jellyroll Morton from "Deadwood". Even marching songs are better with a little swing. 7/10.
7. "18 With A Bullet" - Pete Wingfield from "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels". Guy Ritchie, what happened, man? Pretty much any song from the soundtrack of this or "Snatch" brings an immediate smile to my face. 7/10.
8. "Hands of Time" - Groove Armada featuring Ritchie Havens from "Collateral". Damn, this is a good song. If one would still make mixtapes in lieu of valentines, this would be an absolute staple for me. 10/10.
9. "Hooked on a Feeling" - Blue Suede from "Reservoir Dogs". Ooga-shaka, ooga-ooga-ooga-shaka, etc... 9/10.
10. "Tessie" - Dropkick Murphys from "Fever Pitch". I DO NOT condone this film. However, the soundtrack is rather essential for Sawx fandom: Tessie, Dirty Water, etc... The Rooters gave the other team a dreadful fright
Boston's tenth man could not be wrong
Up from "Third Base" to Huntington
They'd sing another victory song
Two! Three! Four! 10/10, clearly.
Overall 7.6 (!), of course, limiting myself to soundtracks is a pretty strong selection bias.
Good lord, it's Heino! The strange coincidence is that tonight I will be going to a concert featuring the Hanson Brothers, who are a punk rock band who have written an entire song about Heino ("Can't Hide The Heino"). Weird. And now, the FRT that time forgot.
1. Another First Kiss - They Might Be Giants. Not a single one of TMBG's songs are cool. Well, maybe "Cyclops Rock". And this, my friends, is decidedly NOT "Cyclops Rock". 4/10.
2. Love in Fear - The Constantines. An interesting song from the Canadian indie-rockers. A cool song containing strange lyrics like "A red light flashing / on the helicopters of desire". 7/10.
3. Freddie's Dead - Curtis Mayfield. That's what I said. 9/10.
4. Like Eating Glass - Bloc Party. I heard a BBC DJ say that this was one of the best singles of 2005. I'd be hard-pressed to disagree. 8/10.
5. Wearing A Raincoat - They Might Be Giants. Dammit! John & Jon, why are you destroying my coolness? 3/10.
6. The Greatest - Cat Power. A little slow, but it's a nice pop tune. Chan Marshall's voice really gets me where it counts. 7/10.
7. Swimmers - Broken Social Scene. Cat Power set this song up perfectly. Nice stuff. 7/10.
8. 911 Is A Joke - Public Enemy. The first song I ever really loved. 10/10.
9. Basement Apt. - Sarah Harmer. A good pop-folk song, but kinds of loses a little coming after the Flav. 6/10.
10. Lightness - Death Cab For Cutie. I don't understand how the music can be so dark with Gibbard's voice overtop of it. 7/10.
That gives me a total of 68/100. Another playlist destroyed by geek rock.
Verification word: bbutyfy. A mis-spelled word on a Grade 1 vocabulary test.
Good lord, it's Heino! The strange coincidence is that tonight I will be going to a concert featuring the Hanson Brothers, who are a punk rock band who have written an entire song about Heino ("Can't Hide The Heino").
Weird. I just watched "Slap Shot" from a Netflix rental last night, so I've basked in the original Hanson Brothers.
And the circle of life goes on....
9)White Stripes- Fell in Love with a Girl. I don't care what anyone else says, this is a great rock 'n' roll song. And this version is way, way, way better than the Joss Stone version. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. (10/10)
Sideshow
Yes, yes that was me...where's Michael Buffer when we need him?
pooh- Oh, it's on! Queensbury rules?
"Hands of Time" - Groove Armada featuring Ritchie Havens from "Collateral"...
Wait, is that the soundtrack to the Arnold as a firefighter-pushed-too-far movie? I'm too scared to look it up on the internets.
And Heino looks like a pre-op Ann Coulter. Sie ist ein Mann, Baby!
Wait, is that the soundtrack to the Arnold as a firefighter-pushed-too-far movie? I'm too scared to look it up on the internets.
No, it's the one with Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx where Cruise is the hitman and Foxx is the cab driver who has to take him around all night. Good film, by Michael Mann ("Heat", "Last of the Mohicans" etc...)
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