Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Man Hands

These people are weird.
As Joshua Bolten officially moves into the White House chief of staff's office today, he'll bring with him a collection of photos of President Bush — or, rather, of Bush's hands.

The close-ups show Bush's hands at key moments: Signing the No Child Left Behind education bill. Holding the badge of a Port Authority officer slain on 9/11. Throwing out the first pitch of a 2001 World Series game at Yankee Stadium.

Behind the images, friends say, is a Bolten philosophy. "He thinks of himself and the rest of the White House staff as 'the hands' of the president, to help him realize his vision," former White House aide Kristen Silverberg says.

10 comments:

Otto Man said...

Can anyone explain what it is about Dubya that inspires the cultist attitude among his underlings? Is it his stunning lack of intellect and ability? His attitude of entitlement? The way everything he touches turns to shit?

Or is it just that he gives them cute nicknames and rubs their heads? Probably that. I'm starting to think that Republicans as a whole were never loved as children.

Thrillhous said...

Lemme get this straight. Bolten thinks he and the staff are the president's metaphorical hands, so he has pictures of the prez's literal hands on his wall? Methinks the metaphor is strained . . .

So if the WH staff are the hands, what body part are the loyal foot soldiers, i.e. the Bush base?

Mr Furious said...

Can anyone explain what it is about Dubya that inspires the cultist attitude among his underlings?

I can. It's listed as a job requirement.

I'm sure as part of the final interview process, you have to choose which photo of the President you will hang in your office, above your bed and in your living room; Manly aircraft carrier President, backlit "halo effect" President, or 9/11 bullhorn President.

Bolten got extra credit for coming up with his own creative solution... so he got to fire some people as a reward.

Thrillhous said...

Mr. F, that theory is so crazy it just might be right.

I'm not that big on the "W is stupid" jokes (correction: I love reading them, but I rarely make them), but I have to ask.

Do you think Bolten has up the picture of The Hands trying to fit the circle peg into the square hole?

Otto Man said...

Do you think Bolten has up the picture of The Hands trying to fit the circle peg into the square hole?

Hell no. Dear Leader has forbidden all mentions of the un-American peg and has ordered it airbrushed out of all photographs.

sideshow bob said...

Just creepy...

Mr Furious said...

Great title by the way. As someone who spends too much time laboring over those details myself, I like to acknowledge the fine efforts here at LLPON.

S.W. Anderson said...

Foot fetishists aren't that uncommon, from what I understand, so I suppose it's not surprising if a hand fetishist turns up.

The answer to O.M.'s interesting question about Dubya cultists may lie in overcompensation.

Knowing the guy's got a stunted intellect married to a limited understanding of everything except how important he is, the complete package holy-rolled into an attitude of being chosen by God and country to do whatever the hell he pleases, Bush's drones and cronies take great pains to never jar his assumptions and sensibilities, lest they get the Paul O'Neill treatment.

They even go beyond not jarring, to lavish praise and show evidence of devotion. There's probably a strong element of interoffice competition to the sucking up.

Otto Man said...

They even go beyond not jarring, to lavish praise and show evidence of devotion. There's probably a strong element of interoffice competition to the sucking up.

Now that's an interesting answer. Bush is essentially the twisted kid in that Twilight Zone episode who has godlike powers, and everyone sucks up to him because they're afraid he'll turn them into a jack-in-the-box or something.

Mr Furious said...

"Why that'll ruin half the crops! You know that, don't you, half the crops! That's what that... But it's good that you're making it snow, Anthony, it's real good. And tomorrow, tomorrow's going to be a real good day too!

I think you could plug a few different words in there and use that quote for nearly everything Bush has done.