Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Scott Free

It was fun watching Scottie McClellan get beaten like a piñata at every single press briefing, but the fun had to end sometime.
WASHINGTON - White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Wednesday he is resigning, continuing a shakeup in President Bush's administration that has already yielded a new chief of staff and could lead to a change in the Cabinet. ....

Bush said McClellan had “a challenging assignment.”

“I thought he handled his assignment with class, integrity,” the president said. “It’s going to be hard to replace Scott, but nevertheless he made the decision and I accepted it. One of these days, he and I are going to be rocking in chairs in Texas and talking about the good old days.”
Yeah, the good old days. Before all the indictments came down against them and Karl Rove fled to Tijuana with nothing more than a briefcase full of incriminating documents and an autographed picture of G. Gordon Liddy. Good times, my friend. Good times....

Now that Scottie has been granted an early release by Warden Bush, he'll likely spend a month or so rinsing the flop-sweat stains out of his suit and having the phrase "we can't comment on an ongoing investigation" deprogrammed from his cerebral cortex. But after a while, he'll have to start looking for work again. You can only throw darts at Helen Thomas's photo and prank call Howie Kurtz so many times before retirement gets boring.

So what should Scottie's next job be? And who can the White House get to fill his shoes?

6 comments:

Otto Man said...

I was going to suggest one of the Fox News drones as a joke replacement, but apparently someone was on CNN today seriously floating the idea of Tony Snow. Seriously.

That would be great, of course, but I'd really love to see one of the truly insane guys, like John Gibson. Christ, I'd buy the DVDs of those press briefings.

Smitty said...

What should Scottie do? We'll see, when his inevitable book hits the shelves later this year, juuuuuuust after the elections.

Who'd replace him? Does it matter? You put a new guy up there saying the same shit. The press, in their whoredom, will buy it for a month or so, until they realize that this new guy says the same shit as the old guy. He just looks different.

Spray paint a lump of shit gold...all you get is a spray-painted lump of shit.

Thrillhous said...

Smitty, you're way off. You think the press will catch on after only a month? Get real!

The options for Scotty that spring to my mind are pretty obvious: nutty right-wing think tank or lobbyist. If they'd had Scotty, maybe Enron would still be afloat today.

TravisG said...

John Gibson would be awesome. Oh, and this is what's passing for humorous suggestions from the conservative side.

Smitty said...

You're right TH. I must have been living in a dream world for a moment. Even then, my dream world must still be a nightmare.

I saw the link with what passes as humor. They're so jingoistic on the "right" that even their jokes are full of overblown machismo and misdirected anger.

Pooh said...

travis,

Maybe its just me, but I find the suggestion reasonably amusing. But then I'm not sure on the one viewing what variety of -nut the blog in question qualifies as : wing or spoof, you make the call...