We all remember the classic 1970s fights of Muhammed Ali -- the 1974 "Rumble in the Jungle" against a grill-less George Foreman, the 1975 "Thrilla in Manila" against a witless Joe Frazier, etc. -- but not many people recall this undated bout, the "Depravities in the Cavities" showdown against Mr. Tooth Decay.I'm not even sure who Mr. Tooth Decay is, to be honest. I'm assuming he came out of the Cavity Creeps farm system, but he also bears a striking similarity to Snidely Whiplash. Who knows, maybe the mad scientists at Hanna Barbera were into gene splicing. It would certainly explain some of their more bizarre creations.
Whoever Mr. Tooth Decay was, it's pretty clear that Ali kicked his ass. As usual. And then he treated the whole gang to some high-grade hallucinogens. What a guy.
Alright, time for the Friday Random Ten. You know the drill.
1. Dusty Springfield, "I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself" -- Fairly straightforward '60s pop here, with a lush orchestral sound and lyrics that pretty much consist of the title being repeated over and over again. Not bad, but not cool. 6/10
2. Lightnin' Hopkins, "Goin' Back to Florida" -- Some nice acoustic blues from a master. Sadly, unlike a later tribute called "Goin' Back to Cali," this has neither the heels tall, nor the bikinis small. Too bad. 5/10
3. De La Soul, "With Me" -- Lordy, do I love De La. I know they dropped off most people's radar during the late '90s, but they were putting out great CDs during that span, including the one that this hails from, Mosaic Thump. Silky smooth and catchy as hell. 8/10
4. Bee Gees, "Jive Talkin'" -- Nothing to see here, people. Move along. 2/10
5. MC5, "Come Together" -- Thank God for the searing guitar salvation of the Motor City Five. Nothing clears out the stench of a Bee Gees embarrassment like kicking out the motherfucking jams. 9/10
6. Simon & Garfunkel, "The Only Living Boy in New York" -- Why yes, I do own the soundtrack to Garden State. I'm ashamed to admit I'd never heard this song before seeing the movie. I'm not sure if a shallow understanding of Simon & Garfunkel robs me of my music snob credentials, or actually bolsters them. Who knows? I like it all the same. 7/10
7. R.E.M., "Losing My Religion" (live) -- This is actually a recording from just a few weeks ago, a live performance at the Georgia Music Awards Ceremony. (Four lovely songs, with Bill Berry back on drums, available for you here.) A nice tune from the boys, notable largely for the non-southerners who took the title literally, as an anti-religious screed, rather than realizing it was a southernism for getting embarrassed in public. 6/10
8. My Bloody Valentine, "Only Shallow" -- Ah, the sweet, fuzzy, socially awkward sounds of shoegazer music. This is from the fantastic Loveless album, a Cd we loved so much in college we actually had a giant record store poster of it. Which we placed over the trash can. Yeah, that was a mistake. 8/10
9. Red House Painters, "Long Distance Runaround" -- I hope I get a little credit from Thrillhous for coughing up a Yes cover. He'll probably be upset it didn't capture the true spirit of the soft rock law firm Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe. Whatever, I think this is solid stuff. 7/10
10. The Clash, "Spanish Bombs" -- Does anyone know what this song is about? Guernica? Gambling? The fact that Generalisimo Francisco Franco is still dead? 8/10
Well, that gives me a craptacular 6.4 average. One of my weaker showings, and that's saying a lot. I better get out of here before a crowd gathers to cry "Ali, Bumaye! Ali, Bumaye!"
Drop your own random ten, your snarky comments about my choices, or perhaps some precious childhood memories of the Cavity Creeps in the comments below.
15 comments:
iPod, don't fail me now:
1) Wynona's Big Brown Beaver, Primus. Wow. This is like a Chili beer I had once. Chili in beer? What? Confusing. 6/10.
2) Buck Dancer's Choice, Taj Mahal. Awesome guitar-pickin'-style song from the king of Roots Music. 8/10.
3) Wango Tango, Ted Nugent. I used to love Deadly Tedly until he opened his mouth about politics. 5/10 'cause I'm pissed at him, but the song itself redeemed some points.
4) Psalm 69, Ministry. I totally forgot I had these guys on my iPod. Great Industrial Metal from some pioneers. 8/10.
5) The Wind Cries Mary, Jimi Hendrix. One of my favorites from Mr. Hendrix. I love the smooth bluesy feel to it. 8/10.
6) Life to Lifeless, Killswitch Engage. I really like this band, in both versions with either singer. They just do a nicely-presented metal with solid musicianship; chunky bass, Euro-style up-and-down-the-fret lead guitar. 8/10.
7) Walk, Pantera. Fuck you. 10/10.
8) I Wanna Be Sedated, The Ramones. We miss you, Johnny Ramone. Another favorite song of mine. 8/10.
9) Mr. Rogers, Korn. I used to be really really in to Korn. Now they're sorta bland nu-metal like every-freakin'-body else. 6/10 'cause this song was before I got tired of their singer whining.
10) Lucretia, Megadeth. Speed + heroin + anger = Megadeth when they were still awesome. Crunch and guitars at 1,000,000 miles an hour. 9/10.
7.6 and one reminiscence of a really weird beer. Not too shabby today!
Ali and Cossell, plus Sinatra? What a supergroup. Cavities don't stand a chance. Speaking of supergroups, let's see what a Real Man is listening to today!
1) Is there anybody out there - Floyd. Not sure what the answer is, but whoever is out there, they ain't listening to this. 3/10
2) 10 Years Gone - Zeppelin. Not a favorite of mine. Where's the euphemisms for female genitalia? 4/10
3) No Bone Movies - Ozzy. Now HERE's your genitalia euphemisms! Unbelievably great song, while also giving a stern warning to the kids about overdoing it with the porn. Once again, Ozzy was prophetic. And dammit, Randy takes a fun throwaway song and turns it into a classic. 11/10
4) Crazy Train - Ozzy. Obviously a great song, but so overplayed. Same album as No Bone. 10/10
5) Battlefield - ELP. These guys aren't usually good Friday material; this song's no exception. 8/10
6) And Justice for All - Metallica. This whole album is just wall-to-wall awesome. Talk about your under-rated guitarists, Kirk Hammet is the man. 9/10
7) Lady Starlight - Scorpions. Ouch, painfully bad. 1/10
8) The Trial - Floyd. More Wall, but at least his is a good one. This is the demo version, which is tons better than the album version. 8/10
9) The Rain Song - Zep. poopoo. 3/10
10) Dyers Eve - Metallica. Even better than the title track! 10/10
Pretty good numbers, but somehow it's not what I was hoping for. Truly gone fishing.
7)
Fun stuff galore here, fellas. Since I have no I-Pod, and my 12 year-old 5 disc player hit the skids a while back, I'll put my usual unsolicited Friday morning commentary in a random 10 fashion:
1. That poster with Ali & the kid in the Dodgers cap, etc. is wild.
2. Wind Cries Mary -- Nice.
3. A Dusty Springfield cover of the same Bert Bacharach song The White Stripes rip open on Elephant -- Nicer
4. A song off of Loveless -- Nicest.
5. Thrill -- Primus supplies all the female gentital euphemisma you need in Smitty's #1.
6. Jive Talkin' has to be worth at least a 4, no?
7. I think Spanish Bombs is about the after effects of too much paella.
8. Johnny Ramone.
9. Did I mention that I've been playing The Raconteurs to death?
Oh yeah, I did mention that. Sorry.
10. a 3 for The Rain Song is sinful. Thrill, I'm gonna have to pretend I never saw that.
Gotta say: Dyers Eve is an amazingly sophisticated song, what with somewhere in the ballpark of 3 time-signature changes and incredible syncopation between the guitars on the drums. All this nu-metal shit is just over-produced power chords written in a major key. What happened to all the cool songs written in minor keys that changed time and key signatures along the way? It has reemerged in bands like Shadows Fall, but it's not what's played on the radio.
I hate corporate music. I love old Metallica.
Gosh. Muhammed Ali had a full slate of fights against fictional characters...
Remember this one?
I wonder who had "winners"? Perhaps Smokey the Bear? Or the head Sleestak?
9. Did I mention that I've been playing The Raconteurs to death?
I'm at step 8 in my 12 step recovery from that same addicition.
My list this week is neither random nor 10. Behold instead "The Ultimate Prophecy," by JD Blackfoot, in all its 21:02, multi-part, all-encompassing, occasionally spoken glory. (Sample lyric: "You will come to realize that death, in its finality, is life." And there are still 13-1/2 minutes to go.) Imagine a one-man Spinal Tap, but with gratuitous Native American overtones.
Ridiculously overblown or not, this song totally rocks.
step 8
Furious, is that the "Play Elephant whenever you'd otherwise play Broken Boy Soldiers" step?
Imagine a one-man Spinal Tap, but with gratuitous Native American overtones.
If it's anything close to what the good doctor is imagining it will not only change music, it will also change every man, woman and child, living and dead.
1. Plantlife – “Appreciate,” from The Return of Jack Splash!
This was given to me with the tag “Andre 3000’s fave album of ’05.” Sounds like extra high (get it… Plantlife… high?) quality funk straight from its heyday. For sure party starter. 8/10
2. Bjork – “Hidden Place,” from Vespertine
A pretty girl sings pretty music. With Sleater-Kinney’s indef hiatus, Bjork, PJ and Cat Power can duke out best femme songwriter. I’d PPV that. 8/10
3. A Tribe Called Quest – “Hot Sex,” from The Love Movement
I don’t know what it is, but this is a good song to listen to while having hot sex. From the doctor’s all-time #1 most underrated hip hop album. 8/10
4. Coldplay – “Crest of Waves,” from A Loving Tribute to Feces
X & Y is the first album the doc deleted from his ‘Pod for political reasons. Sure he had worse stuff on his device, but that album was the album the Retardicans wanted Coldplay to follow Rush with, and damn them for going conservative. This was a free download that came with it and thus somehow missed the cut. 3/10
Side note: Chris Martin and Gwynie joined Jay-Z onstage in London this week. Seriously. I expect an SNL skit about this tomorrow.
5. Jawbox – “Linkwork,” from Novelty
Still sounds like it was made yesterday. Hard rockingly delightful every single time. 8/10
6. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion – “Hold On,” from Plastic Fang
Granted JSBX was, like C’play, going through the motions on Fang, but luckily for them it’s a different, likable motion. You will not see a rockinger live show. The Blues is number one. 7/10
7. The Flaming Lips – “Haven’t Got a Clue,” from At War With the Mystics
Speaking of acts that must be seen before you travel six feet under… these kids be a faulking party. Though the doc’s backed off his claim of Mystics being the album of the year, it’s still better than people give it credit for and this is one of its best (and most mysteriously absent from the live show). “Every time you state your case, the more I want to punch your face!” 9/10
8. The Magnetic Fields – “(Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy,” from 69 Love Songs Vol. 2
Haha. Milt would kill for the chance to dedicate this to someone. 9/10
9. The Magnetic Fields – “The Cactus Where Your Heart Should Be,” from Love Songs Vol. 1
Haha. Milt would kill for the chance to dedicate this to someone.
A random twofer! 8/10
10. John Coltrane – “Village Blues,” from The Heavyweight Champion
Perfect in the right setting, e.g. when your whole village has the blues, but not the finish the doc wanted going into the weekend. 7/10
This isn’t the first time Coldplay’s made Milt feel like less of a man. 7.5 average.
Step 8 is: Not playing the album, but when the Racs come up on shuffle, limiting yourself to no more than two rewinds to hear the song again.
Damn, Furious. That's way too radical for me at this point. I'm at Step 1: wait until I finish this post before hittin Store Bought Bones.
Damn, I gotta go . . .
Nice job on the Magnetic Fields twofer, Milt. If Stephen Merritt was capable of feeling anything other than melancholy and irony, he'd be proud.
Peb-
The wife & I were down in NC this past week. Checked out the Carrboro Music Festival on Sunday. Fun stuff. Very cool town.
Liked grabbing beers at the Weaver Street Market and chilling out front.
Yeah, sorry about that, Pedro.
Looking back, I never should've accepted it. It was like taking your child. Your nerdy, shoegazing child.
At the time, though, I would've punched my own mother to get that.
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