Friday Random Ten

This week's album cover comes from the Christian Crusaders. Crusaders, eh? Well, I guess an army really does travel on its stomach. I believe that's Jonah on the right, and the Whale on the left.

As always, the appearance of a tragic cover image here is a sign that it's time for the Friday Random Ten. You know the drill, so I'll skip the formalities this week.

Here's mine:

1. Sugar Hill Gang, "Apache" -- This song is flyer than a four-finger gold ring that says "PIMP" on it. "Tonto, jump on it, jump on it, jump on it!" Dammmmmn. 9/10

2. De La Soul, "I Can Do (Life)" -- An excellent track off Art Official Intelligence, a funky strutter that includes solid vocals and a guitar that can only be described as "wicked." 8/10

3. P J Harvey, "Man-Size" -- P J Harvey covers the entire range of emotion for a psycho ex-girlfriend. It begins sultry, and slowly becomes ever crazier. She winds up in the neighborhood of semiprofessional nutjob Courtney Love by the end of the song. 8/10

4. Radiohead, "Morning Bell" -- This song has a lot of things going for it, not least of which are the amazing lyrics. "You can keep the furniture, cut the kids in half. Release me." 8/10

5. Rose Royce, "Car Wash" -- Damn, I'm on a roll. This song, as you may have surmised, is the theme song to the classic 1970s film Car Wash, which co-starred Fraklin Ajaye and his colossal afro. I'm pretty sure he could shammy the Camaros with that thing. Anyway, the entire soundtrack is phenomenally funky, and this one is no exception. 9/10

6. Harry Belafonte, "Will His Love Be Like His Rum?" -- A really sweet calypso tune from Harry Belafonte. It's sort of a wedding toast set to limbo music, and it works like a charm. Drink up, rummy. 7/10

7. Stereolab, "Motoroller Scalatron" -- I'm a pretty big fan of the electrobounciness that is known to humans as "Stereolab." (Seriously, catch them live if you ever can.) I have high standards for their work, and this song certainly doesn't disappoint. In a word? It's moogielicious. 8/10

8. Jon & the Nightriders, "Depth Charge" -- Some nice, if fairly standard, surf rock. 6/10

9. Danger Doom, "Space Ho's" -- I wasn't much of a fan of the Mouse and the Mask collaboration when it first came out, but I have to say it's really grown on me. The Adult Swim samples, the catchy-as-hell arrangements, and Doom's lyrics are just phenomenal. This song is solid and chocked full of Brak. 'Nuff said. 10/10

10. Air, "Maggot Brain" -- A Funkadelic classic gets reworked as a live, tripped-out, tranced-up electronica coma. I guess that should be cool, but something feels a little too self-consciously hip. There's no trying in coolness. 8/10

Alright, that's an 8.1 overall average. If I can keep this level of coolness up for a little while longer, I can say goodbye to the world of noogies, wedgies, atomic wedgies and, worst of all, the dreaded rear admiral!

Drop your own Random Ten in the comments. If you're ready to trade up from the world of nerds to the world of jocks, give us a coolness self audit as well. In the meantime, let me just say this: "Neerrrrrrrrrddd!"

This is all.