Bury the Messenger

Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld asked for a thorough study of the Army's strength levels. When he didn't like the report, he took his job title too seriously and got all defensive:

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on Wednesday rejected two new reports - including one ordered by his own office - warning that the Iraq war has strained the Army to the breaking point.

In an "interim assessment" of the Iraq war commissioned by the Office of the Secretary Defense, former Army officer Andrew Krepinevich said the strain of keeping large numbers of troops in Iraq and Afghanistan has reduced the Army to a "thin green line."

Recruiting shortfalls the Army suffered last year and potential problems in getting soldiers with families to re-enlist because of repeat rotations to Iraq put the Army "in a race against time" to bring troops home "or risk `breaking' the force," Krepinevich wrote.

"Serious retention problems have yet to materialize," Krepinevich said, "but there are storm clouds on the horizon. For one, Army divorce rates are up sharply, an indication that repeated deployments are placing severe strains on military families."

Rumsfeld said he hadn't read the 136-page report but "it's clear that those comments do not reflect the current situation. They are either out of date or just misdirected."

He didn't even read it? A report that he commissioned himself, a report that cost more than an eighth of a million dollars and took a year to compile? Right into the circular file.

We all knew that the president doesn't like reading -- so much so that at his campaign appearances, they have to repeat one key phrase over and over again on the backdrops, just so he can maintain focus. But I guess we assumed that if Bush wasn't reading up on the pesky details, then at least his Cabinet members were.

Yes, yes, Condi Rice couldn't be bothered to read the entire 86-page National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq. But I guess we were hoping she'd be the exception to the rule.

But wait, that's not the worst part:

He added that the Army exceeded its goal for retention - the number of soldiers re-enlisting and officers extending their commissions - in fiscal 2005, which ended Sept. 30.

"The force is not broken," Rumsfeld declared. Moreover, he said, "It's battle-hardened. It's not a peacetime force that has been in barracks or garrisons."

The Army fell 6,667 troops short of its fiscal 2005 recruiting goal of 80,000 and the Army Reserve missed its goal by 4,626.

It's a sign of the respect that journalists have for Don Rumsfeld that they put two entire lines of text between his lie about reaching the recruitment goal and the facts that so easily refute it.

Of course, the reporter manages to get in a nice point here at the end:

As for Krepinevich's warning that retention problems could emerge if the pace of rotations fails to ease, Rumsfeld said he didn't know if that was the case.

"I suspect the people writing these things don't know, either, because I suspect that they don't have any more insight than the other people around here do," he said.

Krepinevich received $137,000 over 12 months for the report, Pentagon spokesman Maj. Paul Swiergosz said.

Asked why the Pentagon pays consultants such as Krepinevich for such reports if they lack insight, Rumsfeld said: "Well, because the way you get the best knowledge and the best perspective is to listen to people with different views."

Except, of course, when you dismiss their findings without even reading the report. Then it just seems like you're once again sticking your head in the sand and pissing money away at the same time.

Stay the course.

(Thanks to Tim F. at Balloon Juice for the link.)

Warning - Sophomoric Post

Yes, this amuses me greatly. I smell Heaven a callin'!



EDITORS NOTE: Here's the direct link.

Chocolate Factory

This is why I love the internet.

I Don't Want to Say Mr. Bush is Incompetent...

But Harold Meyerson does in the Washington Post:

Incompetence is not one of the seven deadly sins, and it's hardly the worst attribute that can be ascribed to George W. Bush. But it is this president's defining attribute. Historians, looking back at the hash that his administration has made of his war in Iraq, his response to Hurricane Katrina and his Medicare drug plan, will have to grapple with how one president could so cosmically botch so many big things -- particularly when most of them were the president's own initiatives.

In numbing profusion, the newspapers are filled with litanies of screw-ups. ....

It's the president's prescription drug plan (Medicare Part D), though, that is his most mind-boggling failure. As was not the case in Iraq or with Katrina, it hasn't had to overcome the opposition of man or nature. Pharmacists are not resisting the program; seniors are not planting car bombs to impede it (not yet, anyway). But in what must be an unforeseen development, people are trying to get their medications covered under the program. Apparently, this is a contingency for which the administration was not prepared, as it has been singularly unable to get its own program up and running.

Zing!

I think the prescription drug plan is going to be a political nightmare for Bush and the Republicans. Their incompetence in implementing the program has been staggering, but even if everything works according to plan, it'll still be a clusterfuck. Why? There's a complete lack of coverage for drug spending between $2,251 and $5,100 -- a "donut hole" in the complicated parlance of Washington -- which means that when (or if) all the angry seniors get their prescription plans in order, they'll almost immediately find themselves abandoned in the woods like Grandpa Simpson. ("I'm cold and hungry and there are wolves after me!")

And for those seniors spending $250 a month or more on prescription drugs, that means they're going to be thrown to those wolves right before the midterm elections. I'm not hanging out at my local phramacy much, but from anecdotal evidence, I think a lot of seniors are going to hit the donut hole before the election. As this piece on the Medicare disaster notes, a common treatment for osteoporosis costs a whopping $500-$600 a month alone. I think we could realistically see a hot summer full of senior disaster stories.

The most bizarre part of all this? Next week, in the State of the Union address, President Bush is going to make another health care initiative -- his asinine Health Savings Accounts -- the centerpiece of his domestic agenda. He's screwed up this small corner of the country's health care, and now he wants to bring his special destructive powers to the entire thing? Awesome.

Neil Diamond - Best of Albums 2005?

Heard about a website (buddyhead.com) this morning from 99x's Fred Toucher - who is amazingly funny and grows on you like that 8th Pabst beer ("I'm never spending more that $14 on a case of beer again!"). This is a quality list which is well worth some time reading their reviews. Here are some highlights:

Best of 2005 (see website for full list)

Neil Diamond - 12 Songs

So he hooks up with the world’s fattest vegan, Rick Rubin, and they rent a
house in the hills where some 70’s hippie orgy that went murderously wrong took
place. They light candles, smoke pot, listen to the reels of “Reign In Blood” at
deafening volumes while Neil plays “air bass” and Rubin watches while he puts
away 8 gallons of Tofutti, grow shitty beards, eat straw and tree bark, and
avoid showering at all costs. Ultimately they end up with a killer record that
brings Neil “back to his roots”. Don’t worry though, he’s not selling out the
scene. He’s still gonna pork moms and feather his hair.

Black Mountain - Black Mountain

More Canadians. I don’t know why we keep letting this shit slide.
Apparently without adequate forms of entertainment, fear of gunshot wounds, and
“modern appliances”, those savages up there have way more free time to make good
music like this while they’re chillin’ in their igloos. Did we mention the
singer looks like “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski?

Fiona Apple - Extraordinary Machine

You know Fiona was chillin’ at home in her huge pad in the hills, naked all
jungle-muffed out, crying at the mirror, listening to “The Chronic”, and totally
bumming that her fan base consisted of a bunch of overweight bedwetting virgins.

Worst Albums of 2005 (see website for full list):

Tommy Lee - Tommyland: The Ride

This guy has 2 brain cells left, and they’re both waging a Mortal Kombat style battle in his head for supremacy. Shitty tattoos, plastic whore wives, and dumbass spoiled kids litter this guy’s life, so of course we have to hear about it. This isn’t even funny like that last band he had; you know the one with that “Get Naked” song? That band was fucking hilarious, total unintentional comedy. This is like Maroon 5 meets a karaoke bar where a group of frat house date rapists intersect with a dozen Korean weekend child molester businessmen. Yeah… it’s brutal in a “contracting STD’s” type of way.

Billy Corgan - The Future Embrace

Speaking of annoying bald singers, it took about 5 minutes after this butt nugget came out and nobody gave a shit, for Billy to announce a Smashing Pumpkins reunion. Hey Billy, Zwan sucks, this shit sucks, and you getting the Smashing Pumpkins back together without any of the original members is REALLY gonna suck. How about you just stay home, count your money, update your blog every 3 minutes, write another Courtney Love album, and cry yourself to sleep every night cos you’re still bitter about not being as cool as Kurt Cobain, and leave the rest of us in peace.

Red Hot Scorpion

At long last, the Jack Abramoff-produced action film "Red Scorpion" has been remastered. It's better than ever.

(Thanks to firedoglake for passing this along.)

The Frogurt is Also Cursed

Good news! You can eat like a pig and still look good naked.

An FDA advisory panel voted 11-3 late Monday to recommend that the regulatory agency approve the nonprescription form of orlistat, which Glaxo would market as Alli (pronounced "ally"). The agency is not bound by the recommendation but usually follows the advice of its expert panels.

"We are excited about the potential opportunity to provide consumers with an FDA-approved over-the-counter option that promotes gradual yet meaningful weight loss," Quesnelle said.

When taken with meals, orlistat blocks the absorption of about one-quarter of any fat consumed.

Less good news. You have to take your underpants off in the dark.

A bevy of potentially distasteful and embarrassing side effects struck about half the participants in trials of the drug. Those side effects, including fecal incontinence, gas and oily discharge that spotted the undergarments of trial participants, are likely to limit the appeal of the pill.

Stickerhawks

Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Jesusland) has issued a bold call, asking all true patriots to stand up and make the noblest sacrifice for this country in its hour of need:

...we have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what's at stake. They're willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I'm asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country.

As both of our regular readers will attest, I tend to mock people whose support for our troops is limited to slapping a two-dollar, made-in-China, magnetic ribbon onto their SUVs. It is literally the least you can do if you support the war. I mean, the damn thing's magnetic, so you're not even risking your car's paint job, much less risking your own life and limb in support of Operation Awesome Kickass.

But in all that mocking, I never thought I'd see what I've seen here: a Republican politician insisting that bumper sticker politics really does involve a noble sacrifice, one comparable to the sacrifice our troops are making on the battlefield. (And making that sacrifice, we should remember, as Republican politicians like Santorum keep cutting military pay, health benefits, housing, education and equipment.)

I have to give Santorum credit. I didn't think he could find a way to surpass some of his past stupidities, but this one marks a new low.

(Hat tip to Atrios.)

Update: I didn't realize this from reading the truncated quote, but the bumper stickers that Santorum is equating with "serving the country" aren't the "Support the Troops" ones. They're "Support Santorum" ones. That definitely makes this the stupidest thing he's ever said, and that's saying quite a lot.

Et Tu Hoser?

With the results counted and concession speeches made, the Conservative party in Canada has won. Pre-emptive attempts to get the New Democrat party (Green / Socialist) to side with the Liberal party to avoid this have gone the way of Nader and Gore in 2000.

A couple of observations about our brothers’ election to the north:

(1) It was the corruption scandal (paying PR companies to spin positive stories among others) that ended the Liberal party’s 13 year reign. Kinda reminds me of another kind of “payoff” for better PR.

(2) The conservatives hijacked a Liberal party plan for raising healthcare and childcare funding and embraced it as part of their platform. Again, familiar.

(3) Conservatives promised “a new vigour in fighting crime and gang violence.” I know Bill Hicks already did this joke regarding violence in the UK without guns and the outbreak of “hooliganism” – but this pledge makes me smile. They are so cute when they take the streets back from "gangs" who stay out past curfew.

(4) Minority governments never last long since the first bump in the road will sway the fickle votes back. So the Liberals won’t be down long.

(5) Look for my man Ken Dryden (Stanley Cup winning goalie for the Montreal Canadians in the 1970’s) to lead them. He’s not quite polished like the normal politician -– but hey, it's Canada and hockey. Somethings are more important than politics.

Here's hoping America grows tired of corruption and offers its own regime change.

PS – Previous guidance on the outcome of the election was provided by my father. Apparently, the winters in PEI are getting to him. Luckily, IRod didn't wager this "lock" with Xmas money.

PPS – I bet the people who left the US after the 2nd Bush election feel pretty dumb about now.

Loathe and Behold

Through the insistence of TBogg and Norbizness, I discovered the Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People in America list. Here's a sample:

3. George W. Bush

Charges: Simply put, the stupidest man ever to lead this country. Bush’s lobotomized Will Rogers routine is a satirist’s dream, a European intellectual’s caricature of the dipshit cowboy American, all balls and no brains. Often responds to questions by attempting to define the word he finds the most challenging in them. Thinks press reports of his various crimes are responsible for his waning popularity, rather than the deeds themselves. Interprets the constitution like a Unitarian interprets the bible; for maximum convenience and with no regard to the actual text. Foreign policy vision is less serious and more simplistic than an issue of Captain America.

Exhibit A: “I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That’s a pretty cool first name, isn’t it? Mayo. Pass the Mayo.”

Sentence: Trapped for eternity under shoddily manufactured Diebold voting machine, unable to reach nearby refrigerator full of hot dogs and bourbon.

And yes, George Bush is only the third worst on the list. Go see who gets top honors this year.

Give 'Em Hell, Harry

With the president's approval ratings now at an all-time low of 36 percent, it seems he's got a lot to prove in the upcoming State of the Union address.

Too bad he can't give the prebuttal that Harry Reid is trotting out at the Center for American Progress. It's a home run:

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power tends to corrupt absolutely."

It's been many years since I graduated college, but I finally understand what Lord Acton meant.

Republicans today control the House of Representatives, the Senate and the White House. They have absolute power, and it has corrupted their Party and led to the culture of corruption that we see now in Washington.

We have the Republican leader of the House of Representatives, admonished three times for ethics violations and under indictment now for money laundering.

We have the White House, where an employee has been indicted for the first time in 135 years.

There's Karl Rove, who is under investigation... and David Safavian, the man appointed by President Bush to be charge in charge of hundreds of billions of dollars in government contracts who was led away in handcuffs because of his dealings with Jack Abramoff and others.

And then, we have the Republican "K-Street Project, which has invited lobbyists inside our nation's Capitol....as long as they are willing to pay the right price.

The Republican abuse of power comes at great cost to our country, and we can see it in the present state of our union. Special interests and the well-connected have grown stronger, while our national security... our economy... our health care... and our government have grown weaker.

Reid only picks up speed from there, calling the president out for his corruption and incompetence and even outright dishonesty, until it reaches the point where the man we once knew as Harry Reid has become nothing less than a whirling dervish of fists and fury.

Read the whole thing, but be sure to set aside a post-coital cigarette for when you're done. It's that good.

That Boy's Got Boobies!!

We've all been embarassed by teachers before. Usually we bring it on ourselves by not doing our homework or falling asleep in class or, in the case of StudioDave, yelling "Star Wars!" as the answer to every question. I don't really have a problem with a teacher busting someone for misbehaving by using a little humor, even if it results in some embarassment for the wrongdoer.

Sometimes, however, the teach can go too far, as seems to have happened at Beaver Falls (insert joke here) high school.

When Joshua Vannoy, 17, a junior from Big Beaver [PA], walked into his honors ethnic relations class Friday and sat at his desk in preparation for a midterm exam, he was told by the teacher, John Kelly, to pick up his books.

Vannoy said it was all apparently over what he was wearing - a No. 7 jersey. . . carrying the logo of the opposing team [the Denver Broncos] set to face the Steelers in the weekend AFC Championship Game.

And because he wore it, Vannoy said he was told he had to lie on the carpeted floor inside a circle of desks if he wanted to get his test. Vannoy said other students were handed their tests; his was thrown at him. Papers flew everywhere, and even after he had them arranged, Vannoy said he was unable to concentrate.

At one point, Vannoy said Kelly handed out notebook paper for a second part of the test and told students to "throw the paper at the Denver fan."

My first response was, "What kind of idiot wears a Broncos jersey in diehard Steelers territory? Seems pretty stoopid to me." But then that annoying part of me that still has principles (847 more beers and it should be gone) piped up and said, "It's a freakin' shirt. Nobody should get that kind of treatment because of their shirt, let alone from a teacher." Once again, and to my utter dismay, the principle thingy won out.

Now that I have self-righteously condemned the teacher without hearing all the evidence (I'm assuming the boy's story is legit), I have to determine what punishment I would like to see meted out. Should the teacher be suspended? Fired? Anything like this ever happen to you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

(No, Studiodave, "Star Wars!" does not count as a thought. Just make your "Big Beaver" joke and move on.)

Me Worried, Need Money

Today's Washington Post highlighted a disturbing fact for the Democrat's chances in 2006. Unfortunately, as the party wanders the desert looking for a coherent and simple platform, they forgot the money.

For the year just passed, the RNC brought in nearly $102 million -- give or take a few hundred thousand -- and had $34 million in the bank. The Democratic National Committee raised $51 million in 2005 but showed $5.5 million on hand at the end of the year.This is the largest gap between the parties in more than a decade.

This issue is particularly troubling given the DNC traded in Terry Mcauliffe (great fundraiser/poor strategist) for Howard "then we're going to Nova Scotia!" Dean. Dean had his baggage; but was supposed to infuse the party with a focus on policy AND raise money. Now, there seems to be neither. We do know that Dean has been building a local presence in all 50 states and perhaps the money is all in the state's control - I wasn't able to find any information to confirm or deny this theory.

So, is the DNC better off today than it was 1 year ago? For me, it's hard to tell how much gains in Virginia and (somewhat) New Jersey are more in reaction to Bush or influenced/lead by the party itself. But if the DNC doesn't issue a corrective statement on this article (or some serious spin) this doesn't bode well for the Dean administration.

This Just In

Courtesy of Kevin Drum, I've just discovered my new favorite website: Republicans ... or the Mafia? Brilliant stuff.

Arrested Developments

For those of you who've been monitoring the "Arrested Development" Deathwatch and hoping for a stay of execution, here's the latest news: Showtime is officially in negotiations to pick up the show, but hasn't yet made an offer.

I'm sure Showtime realizes that the dysfunctional cast of "Arrested Development" is a perfect fit for their channel. Showtime is already the home to pot-dealing suburbanites and hot terrorist action, so a show which features an uncle scoring weed for his 15-year-old nephew and a father building homes for Saddam Hussein should be right up their alley. I'm sure they're worried that the show's all-star cast might be too expensive for them, but I hope they're smart enough to take the risk.

Come on, Showtime. Don't be chicken.

Caption Contest

Time for another caption contest, folks.

And what better photo to use than one of President Above the Law behind bars? Bring it.

F*cking Chuck Norris

At long last, all the Chuck Norris facts you'd ever need have been collected in one convenient website. For instance, did you know:

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

And there's more. Enjoy.

Friday Random Ten

"Popular Russian Hits"? For some reason, that reminds me of the moment in Airplane! where the passenger asks for some light reading, and the stewardess offers up a leaflet titled "Famous Jewish Sports Legends."

Seriously, if these are popular hits, someone should get Lenin's corpse off the dance floor. The look of coma-inducing ecstacy on these hip, happenin' Muscovites' faces is amazing. The only ones who even seems to be within striking distance of a smile are the couple up front, and I'm pretty sure they're sharing a laugh over the drowned lemur on that guy's head.

Anyway, the appearance of Soviet Bandstand here at LLatPoN can only mean one thing -- it's time for the Friday Random Ten.

For those of you who are joining us for the first time or, like iRod, have the reading retention skills of a kindergartner with ADD, here's how you play: Take out your iPod or iWhatever, set it on Random, and give us the first ten songs that pop up. (Hence the name, "Friday Random Ten." Get it? OK, it's Friday, too. Get it now?)

As always, if those of you at home would like to play the advanced version, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit as well. (Check out last week's FRT for a friendly guide to that. Or don't. See if I care.)

Alright, here's mine:

1. Billy Paul, "Am I Black Enough For You?" -- Some classic Philadelphia Sound soul from the early '70s. While Paul is probably best known for "Me & Mrs. Jones," this is actually a much better tune. It starts with a scorching organ intro that sounds like it should've been on Stevie Wonder's Talking Book, and then edges into some sultry Teddy Pendergrassish vocals. Sweeeeeeeeet. 10/10

2. Shirley Bassey, "Big Spender (Wild Oscar Remix) -- This is from an entire CD of remixes of Shirley Bassey tunes. Her name may not be familiar to you, but you've certainly heard her stuff, whether it's one of the many '60s Bond movie theme songs she recorded ("Goldfinger," "Diamonds Are Forever") or the brassy showgirl numbers like this one. Not a bad remix, but it gets a little cute at times. 7/10

3. Dub Narcotic Sound System, "Fudgy the Whale" -- You think I'd like a campy Calvin Johnson tune about a crappy Tom Carvel ice cream product, but you'd be wrong. The only time I like to listen to insane nonsense for ten full minutes is when Bill O'Reilly lays down his talking points. 3/10

4. Django Reinhardt, "Saint Louis Blues" -- The greatest guitarist of all time. Period. I'm not sure how he did it -- maybe it was the Belgian-gypsy blood, maybe it was selling his soul to Satan -- but dear Lord can this man play. 9/10

5. The Replacements, "Can't Hardly Wait" -- This may be the perfect distillation of the Replacements, in both sound (right at the peak of Pleased to Meet Me) and style ("Jesus rides beside me / He never buys any smokes"). 7/10

6. The Flaming Lips, "If I Only Had a Brain" -- Absolutely unlistenable. The English language lacks the adjectives to describe the awfulness of this song, which may very well be the worst thing I own. Seriously, boys, lay off the LSD before you're consigned to the care of Nurse Ratchet. 0/10

7. TV on the Radio, "Ambulance" -- It sounds like Peter Gabriel has teamed up with an a capella group, and yet it somehow works. 6/10

8. MC Chris, "Fett's Vette" -- The man who made a splash as MC Pee Pants on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" appears here with a blistering gangsta-rap boast from the baddest bounty hunter of all: Boba Fett. The entire song is pretty damn funny, with MC Chris delivering lines like "Jabba has a hissyfit / Contact Calrissian / Over a Colt, the plan unfolds / No politic is legitl" in a voice that sounds like Chris Tucker's Smokey character from Friday. This is one you really need to hear yourself, and since MC Chris has the entire album available for free download here, you have no choice. 8/10

9. KISS, "Rock and Roll All Nite" -- You know, I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. And then it was every other day. And now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour each week in which to get funky. 4/10

10. Junior Varsity KM, "Fourshadowing" -- I tend to find most drum'n'bass stuff fairly repetitive, but these folks always come up with something interesting. This song, from their 1999 release, sounds like blissed-out Aphex Twin or some sort of wonderful walking coma. 9/10

You know, I made a remark in the comments last week that I rarely got a song with a rating under five because there were so few of those songs on my iTunes to begin with. Looks like I spoke too soon, since this week I was blessed with a subpar song not once, not twice, but thrice! There was some good stuff in there too, though, so I'm left with a 6.3 average. At least the passing grade means I won't be held back in Coolness School (official motto: "Whatever").

Let's see what you folks can do. Give us your own Friday Random Ten in the comments and, if you want to take this relationship to the next level, add in a Coolness Self-Audit as well.

Reason # 346 Why The Bush Administration Sucks

(AP) The Bush administration, seeking to revive an online pornography law struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court, has subpoenaed Google for details on what its users have been looking for through its popular search engine.
Google has refused to comply with the subpoena, issued last year, for a broad range of material from its databases, including a request for 1 million random web addresses and records of all Google searches from any one-week period, lawyers for the U.S. Justice Department said in papers filed Wednesday in federal court in San Jose, California.

I understand the public intent is to prevent the child stuff; but this tactic sounds like the tactic used in overturning abortion laws- first scare them with the "partial birth", then scare them with "what do your kids do without your permission?"....

If the government can get the data from Google, who is a massive data warehouse of what you do and think, combined with the "we don't need no stinkin' wiretap court order" - this is really creepy.

I Don't Mean to Say Neo-Cons Are Incontinent, But . . .

I know most of y'all read Digby anyway, but I really liked his ending to a recent contemplation of our problems with Iran as a result of our invasion of Iraq.

Immature political thinkers that they are, the Bush administration and the neo-con cabal had been aching to prove America's manhood (and their own) to the world for so long that they prematurely ejaculated. Now we are spent, at least for a time, and the whole world knows it.

My feelings exactly. I think it's easy to devolve into petty ad hominems when you try talk about manliness issues in politics, but I strongly believe that those kinds of issues need to be addressed in the context of our recent foreign policy adventures. How much of our Iraq strategy, and our war on terror policy in general, has to do with our leading power players' sense of manhood? Am I way off on this? Is this something that can be addressed without getting into a pointless "you're less of a man than I am" shouting match?

Chickenhawks Coming Home to Roost

During the 2004 campaign, I was stunned at the ways in which Republican operatives attacked John Kerry's military record.

It was a bold move to smear a decorated combat veteran of the Vietnam War, given the fact that their own ticket consisted of one man who spent those same years keeping the skies of Texas safe from Oklahoma kamikaze pilots and another who smugly insisted he had "other priorities" during the '60s. (Apparently, the Intelligent Designer made the "shame gene" an optional feature, like rack-and-pinion steering or a moon roof.)

While I was impressed by the party-über-alles attitude of the modern GOP, I couldn't help but think that their nonstop mockery of our military veterans might somehow chip away at the loyalty of military voters. The shabby treatment they've received at the hands of the Bush administration -- ranging from poor planning for the war, to the extended tours of duty, to the massive cuts in pay and benefits -- couldn't have helped either. And then a longtime supporter of the military like Jack Murtha speaks up on their behalf and what happens? More swift-boating of a military vet.

With all the disrespect shown to our military men and women by the Republicans -- notwithstanding the noble sacrifice made by putting a "Support the Troops" magnet on their SUVs -- you'd think that the troops might start reconsidering which party they support. And it seems they have.

In an op-ed piece in today's New York Times, former Reagan-era Secretary of the Navy James Webb notes that we're seeing a sea change in the party identification of rank-and-file soldiers:

The political tactic of playing up the soldiers on the battlefield while tearing down the reputations of veterans who oppose them could eventually cost the Republicans dearly. It may be one reason that a preponderance of the Iraq war veterans who thus far have decided to run for office are doing so as Democrats.

A young American now serving in Iraq might rightly wonder whether his or her service will be deliberately misconstrued 20 years from now, in the next rendition of politically motivated spinmeisters who never had the courage to step forward and put their own lives on the line.

Well said. And, given the massive numbers of Iraq veterans who are running for office this year as Democrats -- and the nearly complete lack of ones running as Republicans -- you've got to think he's onto something.

While the ascendance of a new generation of Democratic veterans is a great thing for the party in terms of its attitudes towards foreign policy and national security, the three dozen "Fighting Dems" who are being promoted by Kos and Air America aren't just strong voices on foreign policy. They also seem to be strong voices for a liberal vision of America at home, too.

Check out what Iraq veteran and candidate for the U.S. Senate Paul Hackett has to say:

Hackett said he opposes capital punishment – too much risk of executing an innocent person – for everybody except the fool who violates his family and home. "Break into my house, we won’t have to worry about the application of the death penalty. It’s going to be a simple 911 call: Come pick up the body."

With succinct coherence, Hackett said: “I’m pro-choice, I’m pro-gayrights, I’m pro-gun-rights. Call me nuts, but I think they’re all based on the same principle and that is we don’t need government dictating to us how we live our private lives.”

Asked to define being pro-gay rights, Hackett said anybody who tries to deny homosexuals the same rights, including marriage, as every other citizen is un-American. Are you saying, he was asked, that the 62 percent of Ohioans who voted in November 2004 to constitutionally deny same-sex marriages are un-American?

“If what they believe is that we’re going to have a scale on judging which Americans have equal rights, yeah, that’s un-American. They’ve got to accept that. It’s absolutely un-American.”

Heh. Fighting Dems, indeed.

Of all the miracles that Karl Rove and his associated assclowns have pulled off in the last few elections, we might just be seeing the greatest this year -- a new wave of Democrats who embrace liberal politics without hesitation or qualification. The Swift Boat guys sunk the hemming-and-hawing approach of John Kerry, and it looks like they might have just bought themselves a couple decades of Paul Hackett and his fellow veterans as a result.

Caption Contest

Making up for lost time, here's another caption contest. Have at him!

Chocolate Fudge

Among the multitude of speeches which federal, state, and local leaders pointed to Martin Luther King's values for easy political points, I believe one politician went too far.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin has obviously had an exceedingly difficult job this year, and he had his share of mistakes in preparing for and managing the Katrina damage. But something about his statements today struck me as profoundly "un-MLK."

"It's time for us to come together. It's time for us to rebuild New Orleans _
the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans," the mayor said. "This city
will be a majority African American city. It's the way God wants it to be.
You can't have New Orleans no other way..."

Now, my recollection of MLK is that he didn't want to see lines between races. He didn't want race to be part of people's decisions for hiring employees, giving loans, or whom to live next to. Is this "racist"? I don't really know.

I do know that if Lincoln, Nebraska was it by massive tornados and the mayor said we needed people to return to make the city "Lilly White" again that would strike me as odd.

I understand his point, that they need people to return to get things back to normal (and help him win re-election) ; but the "chocolate" word strikes me as folksy in a sense and, I believe, alienates the non "chocolates."

Also, does God REALLY want it?

Dogs and Cats, Living Together

In a point that underscores how little traction the issue of impeachment has right now, Al Gore gave a major speech today in which he essentially called the president a criminal.

You'd think such a charge coming from a former Democratic candidate for the presidency would be incredibly newsworthy, especially since Gore was introduced by former Republican congressman and Clinton impeachment manager Bob Barr. Of course, you'd be wrong. Not even the sight of powerful politicians from opposite ends of the spectrum coming together to condemn the president could stir the media from their apathy.

I Against I

The blogosphere is all atwitter with two different I-words this weekend -- Iran and impeachment.

As far as the new hand-wringing over Iran, it's hard to tell how much of this is a genuine crisis and how much is just another political smokescreen put out by the Republicans to distract from everything going wrong in their world -- the president's approval rating sinking back below 40, congressional Republicans dropping like flies, Brokeback Mountain winning critical acclaim, etc. etc. I'm having a real sense of déja vu these days, with the 2002 script coming back in 2006 with the only real change being that someone changed all the q's to n's. Otherwise, it's feeling a lot like the last midterm election strategy.

Impeachment, meanwhile, is the new topic for everyone from the full-throated advocacy of issuing articles of impeachment coming from The Nation to the reserved recognition on the part of Arlen Specter that if the president really did cross the line in the NSA wiretaps, then "the remedy" is impeachment. I certainly agree with both of them that there's a solid constitutional case for bringing articles of impeachment against Bush, given the fact that he's wholly admitted to acts similar to those outlined in the second impeachment article levied against Nixon. But in political terms, I think it can't happen. I essentially agree with Kevin Drum on this one: if the Democrats issue articles of impeachment now, it'll seem like an act of desperation and, worse, it wouldn't even get out of the House Judiciary Committee.

I think we're going to hear "Iran" and "impeachment" quite a bit on the coming year, as conservatives try to shift the conversation to another foreign policy crisis that merits the president's patented approach of bold incompetence and liberals push back with talk of domestic retribution for his record of incompetent boldness. Personally, I think the Democrats should steer a middle course between the two I's.

On the one hand, they should keep up the tough talk about the president's many misdeeds and demand real answers. Hold off on actual impeachment charges, and instead just keep drawing attention to the Republican scandals in Congress and the administration. If they can maintain a drumbeat on "Republican corruption" and "Republican incompetence," we'll see some results on election day.

On the other hand, the Democrats need to take a strong defensive stance on Iran, one that takes the threat seriously, but doesn't simply write the president a blank check for more bold incompetence. In short, Democrats need to demand congressional oversight and congressional approval every step of the way. This is an attitude that's in keeping with their status as the opposition party and, furthermore, one that will resonate with voters who are starting to realize that Bush Unchained isn't the best approach.

At its highest levels, a strategy of strict congressional oversight would mean that if Bush wants to take military action, then he'd need a formal declaration of war. He doesn't get to do anything pre-emptive or pro-active or whatever he wants to call it without running the reasons, the strategy, and the goal by Congress first. Sure, such a formal declaration hasn't really happened since World War II, but looking over our track record in undeclared wars like Korea, Vietnam and Iraq, I think that's a tradition constitutional requirement that we just might want to bring back.

Personally, I hope it won't get to the point of declaring full-blown war, but that end point needs to be highlighted now by the Democrats in order to get the president to think clearly about options that stand just short of war -- economic sanctions, diplomatic pressure, etc. If he has his eyes set on another fun postwar photo op, he's going to do everything he can to make that happen. The Dems need to make it clear now that the road to war in Iran isn't going to be as easy as the road to war in Iraq.

If the Democrats can steer between these two I's -- keeping up a tough front on the president without going so far as impeachment, while keeping a firm stance on Iran without ceding their congressional duties -- it could bode well for the party in 2006. Having proved that they can act as a strong opposition party without overreaching, the Democrats might finally become an attractive option for voters turned off by the status quo.

Caption Contest

The last one was fun, so here's another caption contest to kick off the weekend.

Not that it matters, but the guy getting the Charmin treatment from the president is Boysie Bollinger, head of Bollinger Shipyards of Louisiana. I guess with a name like Boysie, you're practically asking President Touch-and-Rub to reach out and grab you.

As always, the photo is shamelessly stolen from the brilliant Dependable Renegade.

Hired Goons

Harry Reid once again steps up to the plate and proves that there are some Mormons you just don't mess with. Here's a nice piece he wrote for the Houston Chronicle about one of their local lawbreakers:

In 1977, I was appointed chairman of the Nevada Gaming Commission. It was a difficult time for the gaming industry and Las Vegas, which were being overrun by organized crime. To that point in my life, I had served in the Nevada Assembly and even as lieutenant governor, but nothing prepared me for my fight with the mob.

Over the next few years, there would be threats on my life, bribes, FBI stings and even a car bomb placed in my family's station wagon. It was a terrifying experience, but at the end of the day, we cleaned up Las Vegas and ushered in a new era of responsibility.

My term on the gaming commission came to an end in 1981, and when it did, I thought I had seen such corruption for the last time. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. It is not quite the mafia of Las Vegas in the 1970s, but what is happening today in Washington is every bit as corrupt and the consequences for our country have been severe.

Our nation's capital has been overrun by organized crime — Tom DeLay-style.

Daaaaaaamn. I think the Bugman is about to get exterminated.

(Thanks to Atrios for the link, and American Idle for the image. An image that burns my retinas, but a nice image all the same.)

Friday Random Ten

I can't say for certain, but I'm fairly certain that this album cover from Butch Yelton and Upbound was the inspiration for the movie Frailty, in which Bill Paxton swings his own little gospel axe and sends a bunch of demons back to the fiery depths of hell. Or maybe it was Bill Pullman. Hard to say.

Anyway, the appearance of supergroup Butch Yelton and Upbound -- man, that name just rolls off the tongue and right to Jesus's ear, don't it? -- means that it's time once again for the Friday Random Ten.

Audience participation has been slacking, as you people have devoted your attention to time-wasters like "work" and "family." So here's a refresher course on the FRT.

First of all, get out whatever thingamajig you use to play those new-fangled electronic songs, set it on random, and give us the first ten songs that come forth from the spirit world.

And, as always, if you're ready to run with the big kids, give us a Coolness Self-Audit as well. Remember, the audit is an optional feature for the FRT, sort of like power windows and curly fries. But if you decide to go with it, here's a handy rule of thumb:

0: painfully uncool, the musical equivalent of losing bladder control
1-4: bad, the kind of song you'd get out of bed to turn off
5-6: classic tune, but one everyone knows
7-8: somewhat cool, a little off the beaten track
9-10: so cool you want to walk into a bar in slow-motion to it

Got it? Alright, here's mine:

1. Ray Charles, "Tell Me How Do You Feel" -- Some classic Ray Charles from the late Atlantic years. The song starts with a blistering bit of Hammond organ, and then segues into the usual Ray-and-the-Rayettes call-and-response rhythm-and-blues. (I think I just sprained my hyphen button with that last sentence.) Anyway, solid stuff. 7/10

2. Smashing Pumpkins, "Ava Adore" -- I'm a little ambivalent about late-career Pumpkins, but the chunky bass line in this song always works for me. There are rumors the Pumpkins might be getting back together, but it'll probably be some bastardized version that includes Billy Corgan, Tommy Stinson on guitar, some guy from the laundromat on bass, and a drummer to be named later. Eh. 6/10

3. Handsome Boy Modeling School, "The Truth (featuring Roisin and J-Live)" -- This is one of my favorite HBMS tunes, largely because of the odd stuff it combines -- a spare piano and drum background, the sultry vocals of Roisin Murphy of Moloko, and a jargon-filled hiphop interlude by J-Live. "Now presiding in this court of hiphop / Justice, my rap forte/ Is judge, jury and prosecuting D.A./ Et ceteras, paraphrase / My modus operandi / is carpe diem / whether de facto or de jure / Comprende?" Never has making no sense sounded so cool. 10/10

4. The Radio Dept., "Against the Tide" -- This song is so ethereally dreamy it even has chirping birds in the intro. Breathy lyrics, lush instrumentation, and sugary soft beats. WARNING: Should not be listened to while operating heavy machinery. 6/10

5. Jets to Brazil, "I Typed for Miles" -- Off their first and best album, this song is angst set to 4/4 time. You've got to wonder the story behind a song that ends with screams of "You keep fucking up my life!" repeated over and over again. 8/10

6. Lou Rawls, "Season of the Witch" -- Apparently, Lou is reaching out to us from beyond the grave. This is one of his many excellent, velvet-voiced covers of counterculture rock tunes. Beautiful stuff. (If you'd like to hear more from Lou, check out the commentary on the DVD for "Anchorman." He makes an appearance about halfway through, and has no idea why he's there. Will Ferrell and company just ask him about his singing career and completely ignore the movie. Terrific.) 7/10

7. The Velvet Underground, "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" -- This is an early rambling tune from VU, one that sounds like it could've been performed by the Grateful Dead or another late '60s jam band. Pretty good stuff. 8/10

8. The Killers, "Under the Gun" -- Normally, the Killers' new New Wave revival is something I enjoy, but this particular song just seems a little empty and trite. I guess that's a pretty accurate representation of a lot of the original New Wave stuff, but it doesn't work any better now than it did then. 6/10

9. Jerry Reed, "Another Puff" -- I always had a soft spot for the Snowman, so this monologue-song about his lifelong love of cigarettes may be higher in my book than most people's. Still, you have to love a song that has Reed greeting his nic fits with an "IloveitIloveitIloveit." If only his dog Flash was involved somehow. 7/10

10. John Lee Hooker, "Key to the Highway" -- From the otherwise great album Burning Hell, this is a fairly standard blues strummer from Hooker. Not bad, but not great either. 6/10

Alright, that gives me a 7.5 on the coolness scale. I'm not sure what three-quarters coolness means -- I've got an image of Fonzie strutting out of his office/men's room with toilet paper on his boot heel -- but that's apparently where I'm at.

Let's see where you're at, too. Drop your own FRT in the comments below and, if you've got the stones, throw in a self-audit as well.

Shut It Down

Apparently, Joe Lieberman is feeling the heat. He's reportedly said that a filibuster of Alito is a real possibility. And if Holy Joe is on board with a filibuster, you've got to think virtually all Democrats might be too.

Personally, I think the use of the filibuster here is completely warranted. Alito has been less than forthcoming in the testimony before the Judiciary Committee -- dodging questions on everything from his past associations to his present ideology -- and the little light that has shone through has only revealed a jurist with a paleolithic view of civil liberties and a faith in executive power that would've made Henry VIII pause.

Now, there are those on the Democratic side who've argued that the Democrats shouldn't filibuster Alito because it will make the public think they're "obstructionists." Screw that. That is cowardice at its worst, and it's precisely that clutching-the-hanky, what-will-the-neighbors-think? attitude that makes the party look like it has more wusses than a squad of mathletes. The only people who buy the "obstructionist" schtick are those already brainwashed by Faux News. The people in the middle seem to like it when the opposition party actually does a little opposing, as we saw all too well when the Democrats pulled their testicles out of cold storage and defied the president -- stubbornly and successfully -- when he tried to dismantle Social Security.

The filibuster would be a great way to highlight what Alito -- and the president who nominated him -- really believe. As long as the American people are hearing about peripheral crap like Alito's failure to recuse himself in a case or his association with a group of curmudgeons at Princeton, this isn't going anywhere. But take the time to spell out what they want -- a political philosophy that puts the president über alles, pure and simple -- and the American people will sit up and listen.

And it would also do a great job of showing people what the Democrats believe. The government doesn't have the right to ride roughshod over the people's rights and invade their privacy. The government does have a duty to provide equal justice to its people and provide for their safety and security, two things that this administration is pretty horrible at. And in sticking to these principles, the Democrats could show that they do, in fact, have core beliefs that they're willing to fight for, and that they'll fight for ordinary Americans too.

Shut it down, people. Shut it down.

"What About Those Four Years You Spent at Clown College?"

Between the important issues of executive power and abortion rights, the Senate Judiciary Committee has been ducking into Sam Alito's connections to the Concerned Alumni of Princeton (CAP). As multiple accounts have made clear, CAP was first and foremost an organization dedicated to keeping down the numbers of women and minorities on the Princeton campus. The claim that it was focused on anything else is ludicrous. That attitude was very much in keeping with the conservative movement of the 1970s, which is why Alito highlighted his membership on a 1985 application in the Reagan administration -- to prove that he had that GOP-style Wall Street Cred.

But these days, Alito remembers his CAP connections about as well as Jack Abramoff's old pals remember him. His excuse for CAP -- he doesn't remember joining it, but he joined it because they wanted to restore the ROTC to campus -- is a little bizarre. He graduated in 1972, at which time the ROTC had already been restored. So, of course he would join CAP to make sure that something that had already happened would someday happen.

It's becoming a bizarre sideshow for the hearings, and even prompted a sequel to the Coot-Off, as Ted Kennedy laid a smackdown on Arlen Specter about the CAP records, and the Specterman gaveled back like he'd never gaveled before. (Video here.)

If the CAP records are made public, and it's looking increasingly likely that they will be, I don't think you're going to see much there that implicates Alito -- no photos of him and his ROTC friends cracking down on the rowdy riff-raff of Delta House -- but it will shed light on the core interests of this group. I don't know why Alito's denied it so much, but he's backed himself into a corner and it could likely prove embarrassing.

Personally, I would've loved to see these hearings turn into a reasoned debate on the limits of executive power. That's where the issues that matter lie, and that's where the Democrats could've gotten the most traction, especially with libertarian independents. Instead, the confirmation hearings have been reduced to the usual infotainment stuff of cable news. This is what we get for having our national dialogue hosted by emcee Wolf Blitzer and the Where-Da-White-Women-At? dancers. All spectacle, all the time.

Frontline's "Country Boys"

PBS' "Frontline" is a national treasure. Frontline has recently ended a 3-part, 2-hour series on poverty and growing up in Appalachia called "Country Boys." Produced by the same team that did "The Farmer's Wife," this story is remarkable powerful, engaging, and real.

The stories follow two teenage boys who each have been handed troubles. One had his father shoot his stripper girlfriend at the bar, only to turn the gun on himself. The other has an alcoholic father and (my guess) a crystal meth using mother. Both share the goal of graduating from high school but due to discipline problems and learning disabilities, ended up at a private special needs school called "The David School." The David School was founded by an grad student from Brooklyn answering President Johnson's call to the war on poverty.

The insights are profound. You see able bodied whites milking the Federal social security and welfare systems. You see the alternatives to them not doing so. You see the damage drug abuse can do to an entire family. You see the value of family and people who will support you. And you see that even the most minor of financial setbacks (i.e. car breaking down) can be the difference between a future and suicide.

Most importantly, you see the desire of the human spirit to succeed and the power of strangers who care. Catch it in reruns or watch it at www.pbs.org.

Again, great work Frontline.

Manliness, GOP Style

The Carpetbagger links to an article about Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, and lordy is this guy a baby. After the rest of the senate poo-pooed on his half-billion-dollar bridge to nowhere and rejected his gruesome attempt to have ANWR drilling tacked on to the annual defense appopriations bill, he threw a tantrum and announced he was leaving the senate.

As the Arctic drilling went down to defeat, Stevens said "goodbye" to the Senate, a remark interpreted by some as a farewell. At the press conference, Stevens said that interpretation was wrong.

Wait a second, how can "I say goodbye to the senate" be misinterpreted? Seems pretty clear to me. In fact, if I was saying goodbye to the senate, "I say goodbye to the senate" seems like a pretty good way to say it. But according to Stevens, "goodbye" means "I'll see you real soon." I'll never get the postmodern, frenchy thinking of today's GOP.

Now that he's realized that he can't take his ball and go home (mostly because the ball isn't his and he can't get home until they build that bridge), he's decided to do the next most mature thing.

But Stevens said when he returns to Washington, he will no longer consider some Democrats his friends. The final refuge debate became too personal, he said. . . . Stevens said he has "written off" those friends. "I'm not traveling with them anymore, and I'm not going to play tennis or swim or do various things with them."

It's the Silent Treatment! I haven't seen anyone break out a serious ST since I was in high school, and I don't recall a boy doing it since elementary school. (Okay, iRod did it all the time in college, but I think that had more to do with those toads he was always licking.) Certainly a devastating and lordly response to being slighted, although the life guards down at the pool might not be too upset.

First a tantrum, then a threat to run away, then the silent treatment. Shouldn't someone check his pants to see if he made a boom boom?

(If you haven't seen it, The Daily Show's Byrd v. Stevens "Coot Off" is hilarious.)

Caption Contest

We haven't done this in a while, so let's get down to business.

Let the snark flow through you, young jedis.

The Ginsburg Precedent

Watching the Alito hearings today, I couldn't help but notice that the Democrats kept invoking the standard of Sandra Day O'Connor as their model justice, while Republicans kept invoking the standard of Ruth Bader Ginsburg as their model nominee.

Except, as the Carpetbagger Report notes, their picture -- one of Ginsburg as an ideological nominee who refused to answer questions on controversial social issues like abortion that might come before the Court -- is completely wrong:

First, there's the context of the selection. Clinton had a Democratic Senate at the time and could have picked anyone he wanted. Clinton, however, asked Orrin Hatch, the ranking Republican on the Judiciary Committee, for some suggested nominees. (It would be like Bush asking Pat Leahy for a suggested nominee now. Try to control your laughter.)

Hatch said Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a solid, confirmable choice. Clinton agreed, Ginsburg was nominated, and she cruised through the process. If Republicans are so livid about Ginsburg's ideology, they should take it up with Hatch.

As for answering questions about judicial issues, the truth is Ginsburg sidestepped questions about specific cases, but she didn't hesitate to state her positions on key issues, including abortion. As Ginsburg told the Judiciary Committee at the time:

"[The right to an abortion] is something central to a woman's life, to her dignity. It's a decision that she must make for herself. And when government controls that decision for her, she's being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices."

For that matter, it was Hatch himself who praised Ginsburg for being so cooperative in answering questions, telling Ginsburg she had been "very specific in talking about abortion, equal rights, and a number of other issues."

If Alito is going to be held to a real "Ginsburg standard," he'll have quite a few questions to answer. I'm not optimistic, but the least the Republicans could do is stop re-writing history.

Well said.

"You Can Hardly See Them Nipples; And These Guys Are Really Lookin'"

In response to the massive media speculation regarding my whereabouts for the last week, I was not undercover in Canada finalizing plans for a covert CIA war. Nor was I doing time for jaywalking in DC, as I was assured that everyone does it up there. I was in Las Vegas at this year's CES Convention.

For those who don't know, the CES Convention is the Consumer Electronics Showcase where all the electronics manufacturers around the world (Sony, Panasonic, etc) showcase their latest and greatest. For "gadget junkies" who must own the newest of everything – this is heaven on Earth. If you think the value meals at Wendy's are overpriced and purposely let your 1998 Nokia phone's battery die so people (work) will leave you alone, you will think these people need lives. These people including 130,000 nerds in attendance, so cool guys like me were few and far between.

Save one small detail – last week was also host to the Porn Association. That's right – that "porn". And here's something about "the industry" that you didn't know – the women dress trashy. Real trashy. Fish net? Too constricting. Platform high heels? You ain't seen anything until you double your actual height with your shoes. Essentially, they are one "lost plumber" or "overheated pool man" away from looking like they are in the middle of a movie.

Also, the genre's travel together in packs. Like she-wolves looking for prey and self-preservation, you would pass groups of " Catholic School girls" followed by "Red Latex Fetish," "Wheelchair," and finally the "Plumpers."

Now "Plumpers," as you can guess, is the industry lingo for the fuller figured ladies. And apparently the "plumper" genre doesn't pay as well as the others so instead of them being at the Wynn or the Bellagio, they were staying at the same hotel as me. The Frontier. Luckily, the pool was closed.

But the bar was not. So every night, these ladies got their drink on and like "Super-Size Me" harpies they would call passing casino goers to the bar with lude talk involving "coming to mama" and promises of seeing "something you have never seen in your life." I observed horrified from the far end of a craps table.

For several days, I tried to hide from their calls but, alas, the bathroom for the casino nearest the craps tables was right next to the bar. On the last night, I realized that walking to the other side of the casino to avoid them was ridiculous and I bravely marched passed – steeling myself to assure them I was happily married and only wanted to be left alone.

Like Moe Szyslak at the dating auction, I heard nothin'. I would have heard crickets if it wasn't for the jingle of the slot machines and some stupid Van Hagar song.

Stupid fat chicks.

That's Why You're the Judge, and I'm the Law Talking Guy

Well, the hearings for the president's latest Supreme Court nominee, are getting underway today.

Samuel A. Alito, Jr. -- I bet you didn't know Antonin Scalia's real name is Samuel A. Alito, Sr. -- will be facing the Senate Judiciary Committee all this week, and the discussions will pretty much determine the outlook of the highest court in the land for the next generation. No big deal.

While the initial discussions over Alito's confirmation hearings surmised that things would rest on the familiar issues of abortion and minority rights, it seems all the revelations about the imperial presidency have steered things in another direction.

As the New York Times notes today:

Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. ... will have a fresh road map from the Roberts hearings when he sits to face the committee Monday for his own confirmation hearings. The topics to be covered, the nature and tenor of the senators' questions, and the limits on what Judge Alito will be willing to answer will almost certainly follow the path cut in September.

But there will be distinct differences, too. Judge Roberts replaced Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, meaning that his nomination was a one-for-one, conservative-for-conservative swap. If Judge Alito is confirmed, he will replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, whose vote was often the fulcrum on which the Rehnquist court's decisions turned.

Judge Roberts's judicial record was, moreover, comparatively thin, a product of less than two years as a judge on the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. Judge Alito, by contrast, has produced hundreds of opinions in his 15 years on the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, in Philadelphia. Unlike Judge Roberts, he has written at length on some of the most contentious issues of the day.

Judge Roberts was asked only a few questions about what has since become a burning issue: the scope of executive power. Several senators say they will question Judge Alito closely on the legal implications of the recently disclosed domestic surveillance program.

There's a new liberal advocacy group ad out there which is pushing back on Alito on precisely these issues -- he supports unchecked executive power, he supports warrantless searches, and he even supported the strip search of a 10-year-old girl. (I know those on the right see that last point as overblown, but Alito did support that and he did so far outside the opinions of the rest of his court. Deal with it.)

Everyone is predicting that the Alito nomination will be, in the immortal words of George Tenet, a "slam dunk." I'm not so sure. If the discussion centers on executive authority, I think the Democrats can find some real support from the more libertarian members of the Republican Party. We'll see.

Blitzered

In a recent segment on the Abramoff scandal, Howard Dean smacked Wolf Blitzer down like we've never seen before. Confronted with facts that contradict the GOP talking points, Wolf is literally speechless by the end. Sweet.

Crooks and Liars, as always, has the goods.

Insane in the Membrane

If you want to touch base with the insanity of the Global Struggle against Islamocooties, check out this post over at TBogg's place.

The springboard for the post is the OCD obsession that blogger Alec Rawls has with the crescent-shaped memorial to the victims of the Flight 93 hijacking and crash on 9/11, which he believes is a secret homage to Islam and an effort to plant the evil seed of Muslim culture on our very shores. As Rawl's original post makes clear, he is so far into tinfoil-hat territory that he probably believes that the tinfoil hat itself is part of the grand conspiracy. (Seriously, think about it, people. Why do they call it Reynolds' Wrap, unless they want to wrap up our freedom to enjoy the fine work of Burt Reynolds and lock it in a freezer of Islamofascist aggression?)

Anyway, TBogg made a reference to Rawls' Beautiful Mind scribblings and then, to prove he wasn't insane or obsessive, Rawls made about four dozen posts in the comments section. Even with all my powers of sarcasm, I can't do the craziness justice, so you'll just have to go read it yourself.

What's sad here is that this Islamofascist-obsessed Rawls is actually the son of the legendary egalitarian philosopher John Rawls. Although his thinking bears about as much resemblence to John Rawls as his crooning abilities compare to the dearly departed Lou Rawls. I guess the reason gene skips a generation.

Friday Random Ten

This week's album cover comes from Swamp Dogg, a man whose style and name suggests he's somehow related to Snoop. An uncle, maybe, or perhaps even the Dogfather's father. Who knows? In any case, Swamp Dogg appears here on one of his many, many disturbing album covers, riding what is apparently a refugee from the Eighth Avenue subway line here in New York.

As always, the appearance of a ridiculously sublime or sublimely ridiculous album cover here at LLatPoN can only mean one thing -- it's time for the Friday Random Ten. You know the drill, so here we go.

1. Al Green, "Simply Beautiful" -- What a beginning. This is a slow, sultry song from the Reverend Green, one that combines his sex-you-up goodness with some lush instrumentation. 10/10

2. The 6ths and Katherine Whalen, "You You You You You" -- The Billie Holiday-ish vocalist from the now defunct Squirrel Nut Zippers appears here in Stephin Merritt's side project from the Magnetic Fields. Confused? You won't be after the next episode of "Soap." 8/10

3. Loretta Lynn, "Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' with Lovin' on Your Mind" -- A classic country tune from Lynn here, one that borders on Lurleen Lumpkin levels of country excess but still manages to sound sincere. 7/10

4. Esquivel, "Estrellita" -- The master of '60s bachelor pad music, Esquivel gives us a sparse, almost haunting song here instead of his usual space-age wackiness. I think I miss the space-age wackiness. 6/10

5. Marvin Gaye, "Trouble Man" -- Like I've said before, I'm a big fan of the music from blaxploitation films, and this song is one of many good reasons why. It's the theme song to a film coincidentally titled Trouble Man, a movie that not only features a lead character named "Mr. T" but also co-starred Paul Winfield as a man called Chalky. One of my favorite Marvin Gaye tunes, and that's saying a lot. 10/10

6. The Rolling Stones, "Under My Thumb" -- A classic from the Stones and the days when an antifeminist anthem could be considered a counterculture hit. 7/10

7. Jungle Brothers, "What U Waitin' 4?" -- Despite the title, which was apparently stolen from the Artist Formerly Known as Sane, this is a nice little hiphop groove from the early '90s. Does anyone know what happened to these guys? 8/10

8. DJ Shadow, "Fixed Income" -- This song always makes me feel like I'm driving a deserted highway at night. I'm surprised David Lynch wasn't somehow involved in its creation or distribution. Very nice stuff. 9/10

9. Superchunk, "Cast Iron" -- A great bit of punk pop from Chapel Hill's finest. This song always makes me nostalgic for the South. 8/10

10. The Decemberists, "The Mariner's Revenge Song" -- I normally love this band, but this song grates on my nerves. Between the accordion and the entire maudlin-dying-mother theme, it just seems a little too self-consciously precious to me. It grates at the beginning, and nearly nine minutes later, it's not any better. 5/10

Alright, that gives me a 7.8 for overall coolness on the day. As usual, I blame the low scores on the East German judge.

Think you've got the goods? Give us your own random ten, and if you damn well feel like it, toss in a coolness self-audit as well. You'll feel better when it's all out there in the open. Trust me.

One Toke Over the Line

How much crazy shit does a man have to say before you stop voluntarily sending him money?

Leaking Everything

Like about 5 million other people, I live in a DC suburb and take the Metro in to work (Dupont Circle area, to be vaguely precise). Occassionally I'll see someone famous. Not hip famous (although Mrs. T did once see Rob Lowe and the crew from "West Wing" filming near Dupont), but wonky famous (I think I saw Joe Klein at my opthalmologists, but my pupils were way dilated). I see George Stephanopholous just about every month, for example (in case you're wondering, yes, he does look young; like a young person who has stayed up for 96 consecutive hours).

Today I was walking back from lunch, jaywalking as usual and thinking what a badass I was for jaywalking and what losers those guys on the far curb were, timidly waiting for the walk sign to tell them what to do, when I saw a familiar face among them: Colin Powell. I didn't look but for a second, figuring I'd be shot by the Secret Service if they caught me staring at him.

Colin was in the midst of the gaggle of waiters (I think they were all with him), conversing with some lady who was standing next to him. As I passed him I heard him say this, in response to an unheard question from the lady:

The CIA [garbled word, maybe two words] are leaking everything.

I'm absolutely sure he said "The CIA," and I'm 95% sure he said "are leaking everything." But I didn't hear anything else from him before or after, and the garbled word(s) could've been something like "says homos" for all I know.

If we pretend (PRETEND; do not construe this as fact) that I heard right and that the garbled word(s) didn't affect the meaning, it kinda makes you wonder what he was talking about. Seems to me the NSA spying thing would be at the top of the list.

Recess Time!

As part of his ever increasing campaign to see just how much he can get away with before impeachment proceedings begin (see photo), President Bush pushed through a raft of recess appointments this week. You might think that he'd learned something from the disaster of appointing unqualified cronies like Michael Brown, but as the president likes to remind us -- learning is for pussies.

One of the names that leapt out at me was Julie Myers. Installed as the new head the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, Myers is now a high-ranking official in the Department of Homeland Security and the main person in charge of making sure our borders are secure.

And -- this won't surprise anyone -- Myers is wholly unqualified. She has no background in the fields she's now responsible for, and no real experience in her new office. She's flitted around the Bush administration from job to job these past few years, but usually in low-level spots. She's going to be responsible for 20,000 employees and an operating budget of $4 billion, and yet her previous managerial experience was just a year-long stint as assistant secretary for export enforcement at the Department of Commerce, where she supervised 170 employees and a budget about 160 times smaller.

No experience, no background, no relevant skills. So why would the president put a woman like this in charge of a vitally important area like immigration and customs? Good ol' nepotism. Her uncle is former JCS Chief Richard Myers and her husband is Michael Chertoff's Chief of Staff at the Department of Homeland Security.

While the Myers pick is disturbing -- why does that phrase sound familiar? -- what's really disturbing here is that Bush has in his first five years managed to make about as many recess appointments as Clinton did in his entire eight years, which is mind-boggling when you consider that Clinton was up against a stonewalling Republican Congress for most of that time, while Bush has had his own party running both houses of Congress for almost his entire term. If he has to sneak these people past his own party members, that says something.

(Photo from the Poor Man, by the way.)

Sixty Percent

If you haven't seen David Letterman's smack down of Bill O'Reilly, the fine people at Media Matters have you covered.

Reed is Fundamental

Over at the TPMCafe, Ed Kilgore is wondering about an angle of the Abramoff scandal that I'd been thinking about myself. We all know that the scandal is going to spell trouble for current office holders like Reprehensibles Representatives Tom DeLay and Bob Ney, but what about an obscure current candidate named Ralph Reed?

Ralph Reed, the former Christian Coalition figure and Bush-Cheney campaign official, is currently running for Lt. Governor in Georgia. Reed is a high-profile member of the Religious Right who once graced the cover of Time Magazine (which billed him as "The Right Hand of God") and his entry into this race is seen by virtually all political observers as the first step in a prolonged campaign for the presidency within a decade or so. This isn't a run-of-the-mill state campaign; this is a make-or-break moment in a political ascension.

Not only is Reed a major figure, he's right in the middle of the Abramoff and Scanlon casino scandals. So far, it seems he was engaged in little more than some shady, behind-the-scenes lobbying that netted him some laundered cash. Not the worst scandal, but certainly on the sketchy side.

All of this leads me to one question -- how come we never hear about him in association with the Abramoff affair? This is a Big Man in a Big Scandal. Given his longstanding tie to Abramoff and what we already know he's involved in, isn't his role worth looking into?

I'm sure many people think it may be too soon, in both the timeline of the scandal and the timeline of Georgia's 2006 election cycle (which still has the Republican primary to come), for serious investigation of Reed's connections to Abramoff. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution seems to be on the ball about this, but the national news outlets all seem to be a little quiet. What gives?

2006: The Blurst of Times

Post op-ed writer Eugene Robinson has a fun look forward at the what he thinks will be the 10 biggest stories of '06. For example:

(3) Congress will soldier on in its brave attempt to spend and collect public funds without the use of a pocket calculator. It seems that whenever a senator or representative tries to bring one of those devices into the Capitol, it gets confiscated at the door. It's wartime, and simple addition can be a security risk -- to say nothing of multiplication. The only duty of Congress is to spend money as fast as the Chinese will lend it to us.

Funny cuz it's true. He goes on to cite a bunch of other nasty stuff congress and the White House will do, but he finishes up with the most accurate prediction of all:

(10) Americans will suddenly wake up and question the Bush administration about Iraq, about domestic spying, about global warming, about tax cuts. But just then, as the president fumbles for answers, a compelling news event will steal away the nation's attention.

Hard to believe, but another attractive young white woman will vanish.

It has been awhile, ya know.

Friendly Fire

I'm starting to understand why George Bush's handlers haven't had him visit more of our wounded troops. If this story is any indication on his sympathy skills, I can't imagine the overall reaction has been great:

President Bush began the new year on Sunday at the bedsides of wounded servicemen and women, and awarded nine Purple Hearts to U.S. troops who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. ...

"This hospital is full of healers and compassionate people that care deeply about our men and women in uniform," the president said after his visit with the wounded troops. "It's also full of courageous young soldiers and marines, airmen. I'm just overwhelmed by the great strength of character of not only those who have been wounded but of their loved ones as well. "

Bush spent the past week relaxing at his ranch where he rode his bike, cleared brush and prepared for his sixth year in office. He and his wife, Laura, and her mother, Jenna Welch, stayed at the ranch on New Year's Eve and had a steak dinner.

The president had a two-inch scratch across the left side of his brow.

"As you can probably see I was injured myself, not here at the hospital but in combat with a cedar," Bush quipped. "I eventually won."

Boy, I bet that joke had all the soldiers clapping. Except for the ones who lost their hands and arms, of course.

True, it probably would've been funnier if they'd had the president walk in with one of those Purple Heart Band-Aids they used to mock John Kerry during the election. That would've been awesome. "Hey, troops, remember how we mocked past winners of this medal? Well, that could be you too, someday! So thanks for your sacrifice. We'll be shitting all over it as soon as it becomes politically expedient."

Maybe the wounded troops would've prefered Bush's side-splitting skit about searching for WMDs around the Oval Office. I mean, we all found that joke hi-larious, and we're not even the ones who risked our lives and lost friends searching for the actual WMDs that were supposed to be out there. I mean, I bet they could appreciate that joke even more!

(Salute to Catch.com for catch.comming the AP story.)

Update: Dependable Renegade has photos of the event. Not surprisingly, there's not a single person other than Bush smiling in them.

You're Making My Tombstone!!!

The show must go on. And so it did as "Dick Clark's Rocking New Year" counted down to 2006 as it has since 1972. But this year was particularly interesting television as Dick Clark had suffered a stroke and although he had not been publicly seen since the stroke, he still was going to host it.

Would the "eternal teenager" look none the worse for wear? Would we be able to detect any of the paralysis that follows a stroke? Would he pull a no show?

What we saw was amazing television. All of the Clark pieces were pre-recorded and "seamlessly" spliced into the mind-numbing, time-killing witty banter from Times Square. His speech was very slurred. His right arm didn't move. He was gray haired. He simply sounded old. Very old, like the years he had fought so hard to put off, caught up with a vengeance. The fact that these were pre-recorded pieces and this was the best of Clark they could present, spoke volumes as to how tough this year had been on Clark.

The impact on the viewer was profound. It was sobering to see a palpable reminder that we are all growing older. As much as New Year's marks the opportunity to start anew with better habits and noble goals, Clark reminded us that one day the curtain will fall.

Now, did ABC really need to remind us of all these profound and fairly depressing issues? I don't think I needed it. Do I think the elderly need to be locked in elderly homes and forgotten? Of course not, I just don't think confronting your mortality is really the way I like to "get my swerve on."

The State of the Raider Nation

Happy New Year to all!

For those who were out and being social last night, you may have missed a wonderful football game between the New York Giants and the Oakland Raiders. Was it close? No. Did it have playoff implications or a rivalry bragging rights at stake? Not really.

It was simply fun to watch to turmoil among the Raider Nation.

For those who don't know about the Raider Nation - they are the "crazy fans" of the Oakland Raiders. They consider themselves the best fans for any sport anywhere and are ALMOST as obnoxious as Philly fans. They will throw beer (or worse) on you and apparently going to the bathroom in a port-a-potty is begging for a tip over.

But last night, with only half the stadium full, the Raiders' 6 foot 5 quarterback was stopped repeatedly from the one yard line in the 4th quarter - ending the season in a particularly insulting fashion at 4 and 12, just far enough to not get the Reggie Bush draft and still suck.

Editor's note - I fully recognize that the Falcons are massive disappointment and Vick will never be the quarterback we need him to be. Apparently, having back-to-back winning seasons is too much to ask for. And yes, the Braves will crush me again in 2006.