Friday, January 20, 2006

F*cking Chuck Norris

At long last, all the Chuck Norris facts you'd ever need have been collected in one convenient website. For instance, did you know:
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
And there's more. Enjoy.


Studiodave said...

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Otto Man said...

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

ORF said...

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag the ladies...he potato sacks them. That one is just TOO much!

Mr Furious said...

I like this one: "Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."

which reminds me of another one I didn't see in this list (but I stopped after three pages):

"When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris."

The Doc said...

My favourite Chuck Norris fack is: "Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress." Which has a corresponding Mr. T fact (paraphrased): "Mr. T once ate two 72 oz. steaks in 15 minutes. He spent the first 10 minutes laughing when he heard how long it took Chuck Norris to eat three."

ORF said...

Did you see the "Young Chuck Norris" skit/song on SNL this Saturday evening? In the same vein as the "Lazy Sunday" piece, but it was a rock ballad. Good shit.

Otto Man said...

Nah, I missed that. I clicked off the TV after the bad Target skit.