Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Manliness, GOP Style

The Carpetbagger links to an article about Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, and lordy is this guy a baby. After the rest of the senate poo-pooed on his half-billion-dollar bridge to nowhere and rejected his gruesome attempt to have ANWR drilling tacked on to the annual defense appopriations bill, he threw a tantrum and announced he was leaving the senate.
As the Arctic drilling went down to defeat, Stevens said "goodbye" to the Senate, a remark interpreted by some as a farewell. At the press conference, Stevens said that interpretation was wrong.

Wait a second, how can "I say goodbye to the senate" be misinterpreted? Seems pretty clear to me. In fact, if I was saying goodbye to the senate, "I say goodbye to the senate" seems like a pretty good way to say it. But according to Stevens, "goodbye" means "I'll see you real soon." I'll never get the postmodern, frenchy thinking of today's GOP.

Now that he's realized that he can't take his ball and go home (mostly because the ball isn't his and he can't get home until they build that bridge), he's decided to do the next most mature thing.

But Stevens said when he returns to Washington, he will no longer consider some Democrats his friends. The final refuge debate became too personal, he said. . . . Stevens said he has "written off" those friends. "I'm not traveling with them anymore, and I'm not going to play tennis or swim or do various things with them."
It's the Silent Treatment! I haven't seen anyone break out a serious ST since I was in high school, and I don't recall a boy doing it since elementary school. (Okay, iRod did it all the time in college, but I think that had more to do with those toads he was always licking.) Certainly a devastating and lordly response to being slighted, although the life guards down at the pool might not be too upset.

First a tantrum, then a threat to run away, then the silent treatment. Shouldn't someone check his pants to see if he made a boom boom?

(If you haven't seen it, The Daily Show's Byrd v. Stevens "Coot Off" is hilarious.)


Studiodave said...

That clip was hilarious. Re: Stevens - the man literally already has a welfare state where they hand out checks from the oil drilling TO EVERY CITIZEN.

If this bridge thing was so damn important, you think the might just pool their checks for a couple of years.

IRod, I'm tired of you too. We will no longer go swimming together either!

Otto Man said...

Now that he's realized that he can't take his ball and go home (mostly because the ball isn't his and he can't get home until they build that bridge)

That's some mighty fine snark there.

Mr Furious said...

Thrilhous already had me on the ropes, and then the "boom boom" of all things got the embarrassing "out loud at work laughter blurt."

Good stuff.

teh l4m3 said...

Hahaha. The "Coot-off" was classic. Dagnabit.

Shorter W. today: "Look, I'm C3-D2!"

Thrillhous said...

I'll still swim with you iRod, but we've got to cut back on the "various things". Mrs. T is starting to get suspicious.

I was really, really hoping Stevens meant it when he said goodbye. His crazy definition of "goodbye" really tickled my snarkbone (which is one of those "various things" we have to stop doing, iRod).

Now I have to go make a boom boom.

ORF said...

The only threat, and this is the BIG GUN, he hasn't pulled yet is the one in which he tells people that they will NOT be invited to his birthday party this year...