Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Loathe and Behold

Through the insistence of TBogg and Norbizness, I discovered the Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People in America list. Here's a sample:
3. George W. Bush

Charges: Simply put, the stupidest man ever to lead this country. Bush’s lobotomized Will Rogers routine is a satirist’s dream, a European intellectual’s caricature of the dipshit cowboy American, all balls and no brains. Often responds to questions by attempting to define the word he finds the most challenging in them. Thinks press reports of his various crimes are responsible for his waning popularity, rather than the deeds themselves. Interprets the constitution like a Unitarian interprets the bible; for maximum convenience and with no regard to the actual text. Foreign policy vision is less serious and more simplistic than an issue of Captain America.

Exhibit A: “I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That’s a pretty cool first name, isn’t it? Mayo. Pass the Mayo.”

Sentence: Trapped for eternity under shoddily manufactured Diebold voting machine, unable to reach nearby refrigerator full of hot dogs and bourbon.
And yes, George Bush is only the third worst on the list. Go see who gets top honors this year.


Mr Furious said...

Very funny stuff. After all the detailed and intricate punishments I had read, I laughed out loud the hardest at the simplicity of Scooter Libby's punishment.

Otto Man said...

Heh. I did the same thing here. Perfect in its simplicity.

Pooh said...

Holy. Balls.