Friday, July 01, 2005

Not That There's Anything Wrong with That

Here in Virginny we likes to do things a little different from the rest of y'all. For instance, we like to elect our governors in odd-numbered years. We also don't let our governors hold the office for more than a single consecutive term. This fall we'll be saying goodbye to the best governor in recent memory, Mark Warner (D), and we'll have to pick a new guy. So far the main players are Attorney General Jerry Kilgore (R) and Lieutenant Governor Tim Kaine (D). (Yeah, there's a state rep named Potts [I] who's also declared, but he's looking more Nader than Perot at this point. [latest SurveyUSA poll is here.])

Maybe I should be concerned with the issues at play, such as taxes, transportation, and education, but I just can't get past this one little superficial thing: Jerry Kilgore sounds like the sissiest sissy who ever sissed. I'm not saying the man is a sissy; quite the opposite, I'm sure to become attorney general you have to be aggressive, bold, steely in resolve, and all that other Marlboro Man stuff. But that doesn't change the basic fact that when I hear him talk, I have an uncontrollable urge to give him a wedgie -- an atomic wedgie.

The Tim Kaine campaign has made much of the fact that Kilgore refuses to debate Kaine. They say that Kilgore is inconsistent, lacks the courage of his convictions, doesn't want the people of Virginia to know what he's really all about, etc. However, I think there could be a much simpler reason for Kilgore's putative evasion. The man does not sound like a man, at least not the kind of man that Virginians are likely to vote for.

I could be wrong. Maybe I'm just being close-minded about this issue. After all, one shouldn't base one's vote on how a guy sounds, right? Just because I think he sounds like a girly man doesn't mean that anyone else will think that. After all, I must admit I'm already biased against a guy who's opinion of criminal punishment is "Let's kill'em all and let God sort them out".

Thank goodness, there's a handy website that provides a good, short soundclip of Jerry Kilgore responding to a challenge from Tim Kaine (it's up in the left-hand corner of the front page). Give it a listen and decide for yourself. Note: this blog is not responsible for any wedgies, nuggies, or rear admirals you may give as a result of listening to Kilgore's voice.


Otto Man said...

That may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. He's about one ascot away from Paul Lynde.

Otto Man said...

I can't stop listening to that clip. It's like a sore tooth I just keep on touching.