Thursday, July 07, 2005

Why terrorists will never win.....

We woke this morning to the terrible news of the bombings in London. Congratulations, terrorists, it takes a lot of courage to take down an unsuspecting civilian.

But know this - you will never win.
Why? Because you have no sense of marketing. I know, I know, these aren't mandatory classes in the mountains of Pakistan; but no one really knows what exactly you want.

Out of the middle east? Well, that's too vague for our short attention span minds. Does that include Walmarts? Probably, we all want Walmarts out. KFC? Now hold on. I'm as family value based as they come, but how do you plan on watching football on Sundays?

Another thing, the names for your organizations,
"Secret Organization Group of al Qaeda of Jihad in Europe" or SOGOAQOJIE for short. Where is the Nike Swoosh? This is just lame.

And if there is anything we learned from the Kennedy's is that looks = leadership. You guys have some ugly ass leadership. I don't mean to get personal, but I gots to keep it real.

Finally, this chick I know who went to college with you says you have a reason to be so angry. Apparently, you can't do much with 40 virgins after all.


alex supertramp said...

I concur! These terrorists just have no splash, no je ne c'est quoi and don't they realize our attention spans last no more than at best thirty minutes (and that is only if the reality show is REALLY interesting, or said reality show girl has REALLY nice tits - wait, that's the same thing, anyway---). Terrorists, man, what a-holes – granted there are some shitty corporate/gubbmit goings on, but wiping out the civilians to get attention is just weak.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

All this violence will stop if we just stop teaching evolution in science class. And keep gay people from marrying.

alex supertramp said...

well said inanimanny --- you know what this blog is missing? yep - links, and I think I found a kindred spirit for you dorks....

link or die baby,link or die
ps - NSW

Otto Man said...

I'm sure that blog is a kindred spirit. I can't tell for sure, because all I did was look at the purty women.