Here's my entry:
Sideshow Bob: Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That's why I did this: to protect you from yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a city to run.Bring it on, chummmmmmmmmm-ps.
Judge: Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest.
Sideshow Bob: What? Oh yes, all that stuff I did.