Now that we're celebrating the third week anniversary of the Friday Random Ten, I think we're ready to take this relationship to the next level. No, I'm not going to try for second base. I am, however, going to introduce the advanced-level version of the Friday Random Ten -- a version that comes with the Coolness Self-Audit.
The rules are basically the same. Open up your iTunes, hit random, and write down the first ten songs that appear. No skipping the schlock. For the Coolness Self-Audit, rate each song on a scale from 1 to 10. (And for those of you with the works of Ms. Streisand on there, be advised, 1 is as low as you can go.)
Alright, let's get this thing going. Come on big bucks! No Whammies!
1. Eric B. & Rakim, "Paid in Full (Seven Minutes of Madness--The Coldcut Remix)" -- This is easily the best hiphop group of the '80s, doing one of their best songs. However, it gets points off for being an after-the-fact remix. Since it's a full seven minutes of madness, that sounds like a 7/10.
2. Radiohead, "I Might Be Wrong" (live) -- A scorching live version of an excellent tune. I know the band isn't exactly unknown, but dammit they're good. 7/10.
3. South (UK), "Paint the Silence" -- You'd think a group that collaborated on the "Sexy Beast" soundtrack would be ultracool, but jeebus this sounds like Coldplay. Watered-down Coldplay. 4/10.
4. R.E.M., "Time After Time" -- Easily the worst song off an otherwise classic album. Plus, the subtitle is "annElise." 3/10.
5. X, "Los Angeles" -- Outstanding punkitude. Sure, it's the closest thing they ever had to a mainstreamed song, but with good reason. 8/10.
6. Stereolab, "Super-Electric" -- A pan-European line-up playing shoe-gazing moog music? If they were any hipper, they'd implode. 9/10.
7. Black Sabbath, "Sweet Leaf" -- Great song, but I'm pretty sure the 15-year-old fry cook at Fatburger knows this one. 5/10.
8. The Roots, "Distortion to Static" -- Brilliant song by the best hiphop band of today. Plus, it's off an early album, and we all know earlier=hipper. 8/10.
9. Cocteau Twins, "Heaven or Las Vegas" -- Shut up. I like it. 5/10
10. Merle Haggard, "Okie from Muskogee" -- This is a tough one. This is perhaps the ultimate tribute to Squaresville, but it's almost so square it's actually become hip, as the great philosopher Huey Lewis might say. Hmmm. I loves me some Merle, so I'm giving it a 6/10.
Alright, adding up the score, it looks like I got a 6.2 average -- somewhere between DJ from Full House and DJ Premier from Gang Starr. Stupid Michael Stipe.
Alright, give it a whirl yourself in the comments. Feel free to give a straightforward Friday Random Ten, or else Super-Size it to include the Coolness Self-Audit.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
Unlike you libruls, who think they can tell me what coolness is by relativizing it to some Hollywood standard of coolness, I believe coolness is a virtue separate and distinct from the vagaries of daily life, an immutable value that never mutes. Therefore, rather than a coolness "self" audit, I will simply give you the true coolness audit.
1) Stairway to Heaven (live). Sadly, I can't listen to any version of this song and not think of the scene in Wayne's World where they're at the guitar shop and there's a big sign saying "No Stairway to Heaven." Hilarious! 8/10
2) Rock Steady - Sting. Look, the only reason Sting is in my collection is this guy in my office thinks he's really cool and he was hoping I would copy the album into my collection, and I could tell he'd be crushed if I rejected him. Like Seinfeld's friend who gave him the van. Damned summer George. 2/10.
3) Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad - Leppard. I have never even listened to this song (hey Otto, we don't have to actually *listen* to our random 10s, do we?), but I'm guessing it's from their later, and inferior, one-armed days. 2/10
4) Gates of Delirium - Yes. A 20-minute romp through the cosmic rock of the 70s. God's music. 10/10
5) Take it in Hand - Prong. One of the most intense songs from a very intense band. You libruls who claim to love CBGB in New York should be all over this band. They're like the Ramones, except they play music and sing. 9/10
6) Wonderful - Everclear. Sorry. 3/10
7) Up Around the Bend - CCR. Nothin' like some guys from California tellin' like it is in the Bayou. 7/10
8) A New Level - Pantera. Not the best song on the album, but still a great song. Funny, the album title would be a good description of Rove's most recent problems: "A Vulgar Display of Power." 7/10
9) Pretty Noose - Soundgarden. I know, Soundgarden is passe, but I really like this song and this album (Down on the Upside). 8/10
10) Show Me the Way to Go Home - ELP. Wow, what a way to finish! This is, of course, ELP's memorable cover of that lovable British seaman's song. Well, I think it's a seaman's song, and I think it's British. The crazy boat captain in Jaws sings it (in the nighttime scene were they're sitting around below deck talking about their scarry shark experiences), and I think he's British. 9/10
Okay, boys. I'll play this week. Most of my itunes stuff comes from free, legal downloads, so don't fully judge me by my ingredients here.
1) Tomorrow's Dream - Black Sabbath. Ha! And I was just sandbagging. Okay, some of this music comes from my incredible CD collection (I just bought a shelf that will hold 1500 CDs for my new place -- it looks so empty). You know, I was driving home from work yesterday, and I saw a big pickup truck from the company "Sweet Leaf Landscaping." Their motto is "Water your imagination." I may hire them to install a private garden in my back yard. Or maybe my closet. But this song is Sabbath, therefore we can give it no less than 9/10.
2) Miracle Drug - A.C. Newman. This is the main dude from the New Pornographers, and this song is a wonderful, fun song that makes you want to turn it up. 8/10
3) Halloween II - Sonic Youth. It's a lot of noise, but it's Sonic Youth, so it's cool noise. 5/10
4) Sine a Light - Rolling Stones. Wow, Exile is such a great album. This song is the second to last when they're winding things up, so not the greatest, but love the chorus. 7/10
5) Winter at Night - I Am Robot and Proud. The band's name tells you pretty much all you need to know. 3/10
6) The World at Large - Modest Mouse. Great band, great album, great song. Nobody makes me so happy listening to such depressing music. 9/10
7) The Spirit of Radio (live) - Rush. You love em or you hate em. I love em. 9.10.
8) Paint by Numbers - Danger Mouse & Murs. This song I give bonus points for intention. It's off the "Genocide in Sudan" album, and the song is pretty good, but it's hard to pull off a hiphop song about such serious shiznit. 7/10
9) Push Me Off - Drist. It was a free download from the itunes store. It's pretty poppy, and I don't mind so much when the song comes up on random play. I'm guessing they'd play it during a fight scene on Dawson's Creek if that was still around. 5/10
10) For the Shorties - Schooly D/MC Chris. What a fun song from a great show. It's better if you imagine a giant spider singing it. 7/10
T'hous--That Def Leppard song is lame. They got rich and fat, and went the way of rich and fat Springsteen, except their rhyming isn't too good.
Have you ever needed someone so bad,
Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't have
Did you ever try so hard
That your world just fell apart.
I wonder only about that even lamer Everclear song getting a higher score. And, it's sooo apparent that "our" MP3 player has none of my stuff!
Someone just asked...where is my random 10? Well, I have no media device to produce one! So there.
What I have been listening to recently is that Queen song used in a Coke commercial, and other of their greatest hits.
uhh - I stll want to play but have no idea what is cool and what is not (are hipsters cool or derserving of complete and tolal derision -- yeah, I thought a good beating was called for as well...)
1."Whiskey , Weed and Women" Hank III - what I great start! Talk about a freaking gene pool (a sad, pathetic, drunken one granted - but DAMN!) Classic country with heavy outlaw leanings and a little punk attitude. Again, not sure how to score so I'll just say 8/10 for this slower, fairly straightforward track.
2."Westboro Baptist Church" I Can Lick Any Son Of A Bitch In The House - Speaking of country with a healthy dose of punk attitude, lead singer Mike D doesn't use much in the way of lyrical innuendo and obviously doesn't think much of the religious right - another classic country twang tune, but with lots of cursing and derision - yeah... 8/10
3."Listening" knotworking - a sadly overlooked band that should have received more attention for their simple, but very moving country tinged pop-rock. This song flirts with slowcore elegy and segues into addictive jam band territory - and yeah, kinda reminds me of the good old days with blues traveler. Unknown band obviously carries hipster points, but they aren't a cool quirky unknown, just damn good - so 7/10.
4."Rudy, A Message To You" Dandy Livingston - a tune later popularized by The Specials (as "A Message To You Rudy") but surely the original gets extra hip points - I believe Otto Pointed out the earlier=hipper rule, plus it is ska, and that is always hip. 8/10
5."Blonde on Blonde" Nada Surf - so okay, a Barsuk band which should get OC style hipster points (but isn't that a bad thing - being cool is so fucking confusing!)as well as a track paying homage to mr dylan -- the important thing, however, is that this song is pure pop bliss (indie or otherwise) -- I dare you not to get this song stuck in your head and sing it for days. 9/10
6."Kaya" - Bob Marley nothing is cooler or more timeless than mr robert nesta marley, even on this early demo version with horrible sound quality - so good it hurts....got to have fire now-- preach on... early demo, bad quality but fairly common song hmmmm 8/10.
7."Too Much" - David Garza My god the falsetto, the sheer pop genius (and I'm not even that big a fan of pop) of this song and this austin singer-songwriter is really impressive. Over the course of an album he often gets a little overextended, but this tune is another one that gets in your head and will NOT go away, and isn't a bad thing. Relatively unknown pop singer with guitar chops and Prince overtones, 7/10
8."Resolution" - Pohgoh Female fronted florida based, now defunct emo band. They fell in the emo scene of the time but have some definite shoe gaze tendencies and an infectious indie pop-rock a la rilo kiley but after hours of listening to The Promise Ring. 7/10
9."I'd Really Love to See You Tonight" England Dan & John Ford Coley -- umm, shut up - great tune, classic 70s pop-rock that makes me sad inside and sing along like there's no tomorrow, so yeah, cool factor 0/10 or is it 10/10??
10."Mutiny" Dharma Bums - and finally we return to some good rock with heavy punk overtones and a tinge of country spirit. This is the heyday of "college rock" before corporate america co-opted and regurgitated alternative music to the masses. 7/10
Okay -- apparently you guys are WAYYYY cooler than yours truly (although I think I scored myself, ne - the songs! higher than anyone else), where the hell is studiodave when you need 'em!!!!
oh yeah - thrillh, the rove comment, genius - must be all that God's music you listen to....
1. Npwa - Billy Bragg & The Bloke - No Power without accounability. I play this before I march on 'da Man. One of the great anti-establisment songs of our generation. 8/10
2.Au Privave (No.2) - Charlie Parker . I have a ridiculous amount of Bird on my iTunes. Quality recordings it is not. Great tunes yes. 6/10
3. Oh, Canada - Five Iron Frenzy. This band usually is known as a pretty hard core christian rock (is that an oxy-moron), but this is the best tribute to our neighbors to the north next to a Molson commercial. 8/10
4. Presidents' Song - The Simpsons. A song that mentions William Henry Harrison. Ohio Represent!6/10
5. Anthropology - Charlie Parker. Did I mention How much Charlie Parker I have on my iTunes? This is a better tune that Au Privave though. 7/10
6. Vacation - GoGos. I seem to like this song even more now that I know that the GoGo's were all really dirty girls back in the '80's 8/10
7.Seven Steps to Heaven - Miles Davis. Once, when asked what he would do if he had only 15 minutes left to live, Miles Davis told the interviewer he would "strangle a white person slowly." And, although he would have been more than welcome on the Tonight Show, he refused to appear, the reason being, "I'd have to tell (Johnny Carson) what a sorry motherfucker he was." But I still love the music. 9/10
8. Missing The War (live Sessions@ West 54th) - Ben Folds Five. The introduction is "if you've seen these guys before, then your a fan. If you haven't, then you're about to be" 'nuff said. 9/10
9. Easy Like Sunday Morning - The Commodores. Probably one of the greatest songs ever! 10/10
10. Karate - Tenacious D. Greatest rock group ever!
11/10
I was a little worried at first, but I think I came out okay. In fact I think that list is so cool it shits ice cubes!!!!
yos -- that is a pretyt sweet list, adn the Bird rules but what's up with the "but I still love the music" on Miles, talk about a bad-ass, crazed, creative freaking genuis! - and oh!!! if he had chosen to do the Tonight show and strangle Johnny - talk about some quality reality TV!
Nice list, Gip. Thanks for stopping by. I think you definitely get high marks for having King Crimson *and* Thelonious Monk.
Thrillhous, you don't have to listen to the songs, I suppose, but if you're not willing to put up with them, the odds are good they get low grades.
Rod, nice work on MC Chris. I had "Fett's Vette" pop up over at Norbizness's place.
Alex, you get bonus points for having a song about Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church.
Yos, I share your feelings on the Presidents' Song and, frankly, the Go-Gos.
Nice work, folks. Nice work.
And Thrillhous, get your wife an MP3 player. For shame...
Until then, Mrs. T, maybe you can do the Friday Random Ten just by switching stations on the radio dial.
Here is my Friday 10:
"Ipod Error - Please Restore"
I rate it a 1 out of 10
Wiggum's music is so cool his iPod can't even handle it. Wow.
otto -- thanks for the bonus points -- I really wanted to quote the lyrics but last time I said fuck that many times and followed it with raw and painful rectums it was a really bad scene, so I thought better of it, but damn what a great song... - where else would Fred Phelps (and apparently the entire Westboro congregation) as well as Pat Robertson, Benny Henn AND the president all get it forcibly (and one would assume NOT consensually) up the butt till their "ass is raw and sore" - talk about SuperSunday....
oops - forgot to add - thrillh, buy your wife a damn player (I as well don't subscribe to the marketing and hipster frenzy that is ipod, but c'mon music is the nectar of life and it's your wife!) -- I am dying to see her list versus yours, RIP Dimebag.....
You don't know me, but yeah ... my ten follow. But without the self-audit. I would give that a 1.
1. "Milk" Garbage (Garbage). This is the kind of band that singles were invented for -- one or two songs sprinkled in the mix. No need for more than that.
2. "The Healing Game" John Lee Hooker (Don't Look Back). Rocks almost as hard as his brother TJ.
3. "Pennies From Heaven" Louis Prima (Collector's Series). Still mad at him for not showing up in "Big Night".
4. "I Will Dare" The Replacements (Let It Be). This is the stuff the fictional me that populates stories I tell of my youth listened to when the actual me was actually listening to Huey Lewis. My life is a lie.
5. "License to Confuse" Sebadoh (Bakesale). Indy pop goodness.
6. "Head Down" Soundgarden (Superunknown). They rock like Gibraltar, but without the attacking monkeys.
7. "Jingle" Paul Westerberg (Folker). As if to demonstrate laws of statistics, PW does not figure in 20% of my music collection, but I did listen to Stereo every night before I fell asleep for a very long time.
8. "Angel Eyes" Bryan Ferry & Roxy Music (Street Life). Remember when that blind slide-guitar player who appeared in Roadhouse sang a song called "Angel Eyes"? (I just worked Roadhouse into a post.)
9. "Mercy Seat" Johnny Cash (Unearthed). My brother-in-law's name on his birth certificate is Johnny. It works for the man in black, not so much for an oncologist.
10."Orgullecida" Buena Vista Social Club (Buena Vista Social Club). The maker of the from whence this documentary came was fined for violating the Cuban embargo. It was worth it.
Welcome aboard, Buffalo Theory. All strangers are welcome. Truth be told, I don't know most of the people who post here. (Including my fellow bloggers. We met in a drunk tank a year ago.)
Anyway, if you're making references to T.J. Hooker and Roadhouse, I hope you make it back.
Like that drunk uncle at Xmas that everyone dreads to see but loves to laugh about when he passes out - Studiodave in the hazouse
(1) Izzo (H.O.V.A.) Jay-Z(MTV Unplugged) - for those who do not own this live album has the Roots playing Jigga's back up. Good stuff. (10/10)
(2) Suffer -- Smashing Pumpkins Gish -- Somehow the more I heard Billy Corrigan, the less I liked this band. I still enjoy them, but not with the same man love that I have today for the Detroit Piston's Ben Wallace. (6/10)
(3)Don't Give Up -- Peter Gabriel - this song sucks. (2/10)
(4)The Space Between -- Dave Matthews Band - Though I am not a Dave Mathews fan per say and this song is hugely over played - I likes. (7/10)
(5) Devil's Haircut -- Beck - I enjoy Beck in single song increments. Thumbs up. (7/10)
(6) Whitehouse -- Mofro - Their like the Black crows , but they have soul without drugs. (7/10)
Shit.
(7)Me and my Monkey -- Robbie Williams - Though I assume I will get maulled for this, I actually really like Robbie Williams. Reminds me of a fun trip to Europe.
The story is about a pill popping monkey in vegas who orders a hooker and threatens to shoot a Mexican.
(8)Bury Me -- Dwight Yoakam dwightyoakamacoustic.net - I cannot say enough good things about this album - just him and his guitar. Honestly, I don't really care for most of his regular stuff, but this is quality.
(9) Give my Love to Kevin - Wedding Present - I love the Wedding Present. If you disagree, you are an idiot.
(10) If I Needed You -- Lyle Lovett -- This is a cover of a Townes Van Zandt song. I think Lyle does it better than the origional.
I believe the Robbie Williams song is like a red card thus disqualifing me from the coolness content.
Robbie Williams, while not cool, doesn't disqualify you. And you get bonus points for obviously not cheating and putting up the real random ten.
You're a credit to the uniform, Captain Chaos.
Post a Comment