Friday Random Ten

It's once again time for the Friday Random Ten. Unless you've been in a coma, you know the rules by now. Get out your iPod -- or your iPod-like knockoff from one of those competing brands like Sorny, Panaphonics, or Magnetbox -- put it on random, and give us the first ten songs.

If you're feeling frisky, feel free to add on the Coolness Self-Audit. Someone asked me by what standards we should define "coolness." I worked at a hipster-filled radio station in college, where most of the other DJs were cloned from the assistants working with John Cusack in "High Fidelity" -- you know, Jack Black and Not Jack Black. I generally try to imagine their reaction, and go with that. (Alternatively, you could always use the Millhouse standard, as long as your mom does, in fact, think you're cool.)

Anyway, here's my list:

1. Loretta Lynn, "Fist City" -- A catfight set to sweet, sweet country music? Sold. 6/10.

2. The Clash, "I'm So Bored with the U.S.A." -- A nice punk anthem with lyrics like "Move up, Starsky / For the C.I.A. / Suck on Kojak / For the U.S.A." I'm both stirred and strangely aroused. 7/10.

3. MC Pee Pants, "I Want Candy" -- If you've never seen the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" episode with this song, then you probably have something approaching a social life. Still, this is hysterical and gets bonus points for being the only rap tune to reference Jessica Tandy. 10/10.

4. The Gories, "Outta Here" -- An outstanding garage-grunge trio from Detriot, Rock City. There might be two, or perhaps three, chords in this song. Less is more, my friends. 7/10.

5. Sly & the Family Stone, "I Ain't Got Nobody (For Real)" -- A scorching song off their incredible second album, Dance to the Music. Killer organ work, which we all know is spelled c-o-o-l. 9/10.

6. Elvis, "Burning Love" -- A brief flash of goodness during the otherwise sad journey to Jabbatown. But nothing performed by a man with that many sequins and peanut-butter stains can be considered cool. Nothing. 3/10.

7. Dilated Peoples, "Pay Attention" -- Great hip-hop tune with a piano loop and a hat-tip to Chuck D. Plus, lyrics like: "So much smoke when I'm this high, I sky-write." 8/10.

8. Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Effigy" -- Easily my favorite CCR tune. About six minutes long, with lyrics about a revolution against Richard Nixon. An obscure political rocker? That'll do, pig. That'll do. 6/10.

9. The Black Keys, "10 A.M. Automatic" -- These guys are getting a little bit of recognition, ever since their "Have Love, Will Travel" appeared in that truck ad this spring. (Suck it, Bob Seger!) This song isn't my favorite, but it sure is a scathing rocker. 8/10.

10. Radiohead, "There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)" -- My iTunes is crammed full of Radiohead, so it was only a matter of time. Great tune off Hail to the Thief, especially the part where they shift down an octave or so in the guitar riff of the chorus. Just loverly. 7/10.

Let's see, that gives me a 7.1 average. According to the Cool-o-Meter, that puts me somewhere between Tito Jackson and Tito Puente in the grand scheme of coolness. I can live with that.

Alright, your turn. Drop your own Friday Random Ten in the comments, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit.