Sunday, July 24, 2005

The Inner Santorum

I know we all have questions for Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Jesusland). "Why do you believe education for the poor will make Baby Jesus cry?" "What's it like being named the dumbest member of Congress?" "What's with the obsession with man-on-dog sex?" "What's it like having a by-product of anal sex named after you?"

Thankfully, he'll be on the Washington Post website tomorrow to field all these questions and more, as part of the promotional tour for his book, It Takes a Village Idiot. Click here to post your question.

But don't be surprised if you don't get a civil answer. Remember what former Sen. Bob Kerrey said: "Santorum. That's Latin for 'asshole.'"

Update: So far, all the questions have been softballs. The few questions that have come even close to challenging him have been met with the ad line from that old Time-Life series on "Mysteries of the Unexplained" -- "Read the book!"

3 comments:

Yossarian said...

When Santorium says "I have no problem with homosexuality,I have a problem with homosexual acts.", is that just openly gay acts like Culture Club, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Erasure or is acts that are even potentially gay but aren't, like 98-Backsteet-N'Sync-Town?

Or am I missing his point all together and is he talking about Las Veags acts ala Segfried & Roy?

Thrillhous said...

Very good points, Yos. I was thinking along those lines, but I was actually wondering if the librul media had once again misquoted this paragon of paragonity. I bet what he really said was "I have a problem with homosexual axe[s]." Clearly, this is a reference to our growing problem with gay lumberjackers, eloquently satired by those brits in the monty python brigade.

Hell, look at their icon and hero, Paul Bunyan. Dude was married to a blue ox. Connect the dots. This is totally Santorum's forte.

Otto Man said...

I want someone to ask him (or any of the right-wing nuts) if you stand against homosexuality because it's denounced as an abomination in the Bible once, then why don't you spend twice as much time taking stands against shellfish, which are denounced as an abomination twice?

God Hates Shrimp