Friday, September 23, 2005

Everything's coming up sodomy!

The times, they are a-changin. By that of course I mean that by the age of 24 one in three women has had anal sex. Forty percent of males have had anal sex by the age of 40 (and that's anal sex with a female, not the additional 3.7 percent who've had it with a male). I'm not making up these statistics. The federal government says so (PDF). I'm sure we're all aware that the recently-publicized increase of oral sex is due purely to Bill Clinton, but who should we blame this rampant spate of booty piracy? (My vote: Sen. Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum.)

You really have to stand in awe of a culture who are so terrified of two people of the same sex engaging in sodomy, while opposite sex sodomy is no big deal. (Can we call behavior engaged by more than a third of the population "uncommon" or "atypical?") A higher percentage of Americans have had heterosexual anal sex than smoke cigarettes, for example.

At its root, I'm convinced that this is what homophobia is all about. People who are scared of gay people are not frightened of God's wrath. They're not frightened "for the sake of the children." They aren't afraid for the "foundational principles" of marriage. They're simply frightened by the very idea that someone on this planet might occasionally enjoy being sodomized by someone of the same sex. People are strange.

I cannot leave before giving a reference to this public service announcement.


Studiodave said...

Solid choice with the Cornholio.

Andrew said...

Are you threatening me?

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

First, I think people lie for this type of survey.

I think abstinence programs have inspired people to have more non-pregancy-causing sex, doubly beneficial because disease is spread only the "regular" way. Not.

Getting herpes in the wrong orifice would be quite a wake-up call.

ORF said...

I am convinced that A is on the rise because of all those people who wear those T-shirts saying "I gave my word to stop at third." Seriously, for some reason, those Bible (t)humpin' kids think they're all resourceful for discovering that their girlfriends have another hole that they can use and dodge the V-card bullet in the eyes of the baby Jesus. Clearly, they are blacking out the passages in the Good Book about Sodom and Gomorrah and what happened to them folks for their depravity.

And Mrs. T, do you think people lie and say they ARE having A or lie and say they aren't???

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

I think that a survey scoping out someone's sexual history would have questions too funny to resist. Who has time for such surveys? Mostly mischievous college students, methinks.