Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Raffy and Brownie: Pointing Your Way to Infamy




When Mrs. T sawMike Brown waving that finger at Rep. Tom Davis and his Hopping Mad Sound Bite Subcommittee yesterday, she had a flashback to Baltimore Orioles slugger Raphael Palmeiro's "I never ever used steroids" finger-pointing moment in front of yet another Tom Davis subcommittee, the 44 Million Americans Don't Have Health Care but My Son Really Wants a McGwire Autograph Subcommittee, back in March (a few weeks later he tested positive for roids). I realized that these two guys, Brownie and Palmeiro, actually have more in common than pointing their fingers at congressmyn.

For instance, Brownie almost certainly lied during his testimony yesterday, and Palmeiro is presently being investigated for lying to congress. Brownie got early, strong praise from Bush (hell of a job, Brownie), and so did Palmeiro (he's a friend . . . I believe him). And that ain't it. Just as Brownie tried to blame the failed federal response to Katrina on everyone but himself, Palmeiro tried to blame his roid usage on teammate Miguel Tejada, who had given him a vitamin B-12 shot (Miggy was subsequently investigated and exonerated).

I could go on, but I need to go blame our secretary for the lousy job I did on a recent assignment. I have but one question. We know one of these two guys will get the medal of honor. Which one would you give it to?

8 comments:

Otto Man said...

Didn't Clinton finger-point when he denied having sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky?

You think they'd learn by now.

Mr Furious said...

Why the fuck ar ebaseball players injecting each other with anything?

The fact that Tejada knows how to load up and use a syringe is reason enough to doubt any "exoneration."

Don't they have team physicians and trainers at the ready to supply players with any legitimate needs?

This is all bullshit.

Mr Furious said...

That's a typo, not pirate-speak...

Studiodave said...

Abast. Sorry to hear ye.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

It's kind of like that time I was doing home improvement naked and ended up with a lightbulb stuck up my ass.

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

Raffy wore a pin-stripe suit, meaning that he has turned to the dark side. But he doesn't seem to be all burned and crusty on the inside yet, like Brownie.

And while Raffy has made people sit in the hot sun, they were free to go in about 3.4 hours.

Mr Furious said...

And in the games he played in Fenway, men were forced to wallow in human waste (the most primitive bathrooms in sports...), but at least there was plenty of beer and Cracker Jacks for everyone.

Thrillhous said...

I agree, Mr. F, there's something funny about athletes injecting themselves or each other with anything. I'm still haunted by the image of McGwire and Canseco in a bathroom stall, injecting each other in the butt.

Point for Brownie: he never wore ear plugs to work, that we know of. Blinders, maybe.