Friday, September 30, 2005

Friday Random Ten

There's so much to admire about Mike Crain, Karatist Preacher. Not only is Mike Crain, Karatist Preacher, the most impressive double-threat since Samuel Adams, Brewer Patriot. Not only does Mike Crain, Karatist Preacher, look like the love child of F Troop's Larry Storch and the Monkees' Mickey Dolenz. More important than all that, Mike Crain, Karatist Preacher, puts the "Holy Christ!" back into ass-kicking.

And rightly so. Remember what Jesus said in the Book of Bruce, Chapter Four: "And lo, if He does not believe in me, then I will fight him. Or, failing that, prove my righteousness by breaking boards with my bare hands." What, you think the guy was a carpenter because he loved the work? Nope. Free boards for breaking.

Anyway, the appearance of Mike Crain, Karatist Preacher, means that it's once again time for the Friday Random Ten. Fire up the iTunes, set it to random, and let loose the first ten songs that are brave enough to show themselves. And, if you're feeling saucy, Bernaise, then go ahead and give us a Coolness Self-Audit. (Check out last week's FRT for a guide to that. Or don't. See if I care.)

Alright, here are mine:

1. The Afghan Whigs, "Uptown Again" -- Off their last great album, 1965. A friend of mine saw them live in Boston a couple years before then and apparently, in a middle of a song, lead singer Greg Dulli turned and punched the bass player right in the mug. They went rolling offstage still fighting, came back a bit later, and picked up the song where they left off. Now that is rock and roll, my friends. Get this touchy-queery Maroon 5 crap out of my face. 8/10

2. David Bowie, "Queen Bitch" -- This song is cool for so many reasons. First, it's Bowie. Second, it's the closing credits song from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Third, I recently saw Bowie perform this with Arcade Fire as the encore for their Summerstage show in Central Park. As George Tenet would say, this is a slam dunk. 10/10

3. William DeVaughn, "Be Thankful for What You've Got" -- I'm a pretty big fan of Massive Attack, but their cover of this classic soul song is an absolute abomination. This version, the original, is so much smoother it could cause listeners to drift into a coma. There's a reason Massive Attack and Coolio both tried to cover this, but you just don't mess with perfection. 9/10

4. Cypress Hill, "The Phuncky Feel One (Instrumental)" -- I stumbled across the website of Cypress Hillian B-Real a couple weeks ago, and was stunned to find it loaded with lots and lots free mp3s. Somehow listening to this makes me want to sneak a case of Milwaukee's Best into my dorm room. 6/10

5. Curtis Mayfield, "Move On Up" -- One of my all-time favorite Mayfield tunes. While I'm happy to see it's been resurrected by Kanye West for his new tune, "Touch the Sky," the original is strong enough to stand on its own. Phenomenal horns, grinding drums, and generally the fastest nine minutes of music you'd ever hear. 9/10

6. Superchunk, "100,000 Fireflies" -- This sounds virtually nothing like the quiet and beautiful Magnetic Fields original, and yet it works incredibly well. Somehow, in Mac McCaughan's indie-rock screech, Stephin Merritt's slit-your-wrist lyrics work even better. I mean, he actually shrieks "Why do we keep shrieking, when we mean soft things? We should be whispering all the time." 9/10

7. Kid Koala, "Skanky Panky" -- I saw Kid Koala open up for the Roots about six years ago at the Roxy in Atlanta. Really impressive. This song has its moments, but it has a few too many places where the scratching gets so overwhelming you think he might be having a seizure. 7/10

8. Beck, "Jack-Ass" -- A nice slow one from Odelay. The backing samples, which were lifted from Them's "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue," are just perfect here. It's impressive that he was able to take so much from a classic and still come up with something so original. But what would you expect from a man who's in league with both "Futurama" and Scientology? 8/10

9. Bee Gees, "More Than a Woman" -- So. Much. Shame. 2/10

10. Fugazi, "Waiting Room" -- Alright, this should help right the ship. An early scorcher from the band that still represents the alpha and omega of do-it-yourself punk rock. They run their own label, they book their own shows, and they don't charge their fans a tattooed arm and leg for either. This may be my favorite tune by them. I once tried to learn the opening bass part for the band I was in for three days, and nearly died trying. The lesson? Never try. 8/10

Let's see, that gives me yet another mediocre 7.6 average. Too bad the Brothers Gibb had to saunter in at the last moment and cripple an otherwise impressive showing. Bastards. Cross me again, you satin-clad suckers, and you'll find it even easier to hit those high notes.

Alright, your turn. Drop your own Friday Random Ten in the comments below. And if you're feeling up to it, throw in a Coolness Self-Audit as well.

Come on. Do it for the children.

20 comments:

Norbizness said...

I think we need to experiment with the idea of the uncool vortex, something that's so bad that it siphons off points from other songs. I think you know the one I'm talking about. Mine this week was "Aquatarkus" by Emerson, Lake, and Pantload.

Otto Man said...

Yeah, I'd second that idea.

If you think the Bee Gees tune was a bad one, I just dropped a little turd over at your place called "My Cherie Amour." Enjoy.

alex supertramp said...

watch out norb --- you might just elicit the wrath of the mighty thrillh, I can all but guarantee it ---otto, damn yet another stellar week, and let's all be honest, as soon as we say the bros gibb on your list we started singing along in our heads and I'd venture a guess you didn't fast forward and even shook your little groove thing -- not the best music granted, but a guilty pleasure, or some sort of wack "collective unconscious" that in bizzarro world at least rates a 4 or so, and while not the best track in his cannon, Stevie is the shit and here I go "pretty little one that I adore", but enough postulizing if that is in fact what I was doing, it's FRT time baby, stick your ass right in and feel the groove...

1)Burnin' Up - Ciconne Youth -- I didn't know I had thin on anything other than cassette and holy shit is it good, mocking and rocking and reverential all at the same time .. all the hipster retro bands right now combined can't touch this, cuk it posers.9/10

2)landspeed record - black tie dynasty - so speaking of those retro hipster bands... these guys have a good sound, dark moody pop but a little too reminiscent of any number of english post shoegaze bands, and what the hell stealing titles from Husker? 7/10

3)Come Home to Me - Denise James -- here we go with another seemingly "reminiscent" artists, that seems to sound like any number of other artists 0- Denise, however, keeps my attention consistently with whispers of Mazzy Star fronting a 60's Dusty Springfield recording .. not as good as it sounds, but darn close.8/10

4)Welcome to Jamrock - damien marley - what what what, hell yeah the FRT wakes up; he's no bob, but he sure as hell is marley... touches of ragga with very healthy conscious reggae leaning (and some sir bob samples). dig that shit.8/10

5)Definition of Ill - Peanut Butter Wolf - underground hip-hop these days just means good, back when PBW was underground it meant awesome, and like he says, the definition of ill he reflects...8/10

6)1970 - the stooges - so everybody is playing and playing off of the stooges these days, but back in the day no-one knew what the fuck to make of the stooges, I still don't...8/10

7)Superfunkycalifragisexy - I think this is off the black album, I do know it is prime Prince, channeling p-funk and erotic soul all in the same note, I saw Price live a few times, AWESOME, when that little dude hops up on the piano and starts humping it surrounded by scantily clad hotties, I have chill-bumps...8/10

8)Stars and Planets - Liz Phair - a track from her new release, many are calling this her apology album, trying to redeem herself for her overly poppy self-titled album; noting that she isn't completely letting go of the pop so as to not look like a sell-out completely - well FUCK THEM ... Liz rocks, and while a bit on the poppy side her last album still kicked on a number of tracks, and while this isn't exile on another street, it shouldn't have to be....plus she is sooo wicked hot.8/10

9)Upon this Tidal Wave of Young Blood - Clap your hands and say yeah! -- so okay, I've tried to be really open minded and not let all the hype and hipster cred get in the way, and I do like these guys, but I am by no means blown away - I hear they throw a wicked good live show and kudos, but the recorded results are good but I can't see their staying power. 7/10

10)Coffin for Head of State PTs 1&2 - Fela Kuti -- now how is that for sticking the FRT landing! Classic afrobeat, funk jazz that was born of political outrage and discontent. 9/10

Thrillhous said...

Norb, you just made the list. If I ever see you somewhere, I will kick your butt (at nintendo).

Alex, you know me too well. You are the Moriarty to my Sherlock.

And here I was going to praise Otto for having a list with band names I actually recognize. Mostly. Am I the only one who's noticed that Otto seems to go only to free concerts? You don't live in Central Park, do you?

Okay, here's what you've all been wanting all week. Once you read this list, you will agree that all of you should be indicted for fraudulent coolness.

1) Tangerine - Zeppelin. Pretty sappy. I think this is what that Japanese inventor listens to when he's making out with his robotic woman. 6/10

2) Suicide Solution - Ozzy. Now we're talking! Wine is fine, but whiskey's quicker. I love how the fundies think a song about the evils of alcohol is actually an ode to suicide. 10/10

3) One More Suicide - Marcy Playground. Another song with "suicide" in the title? Is windows media player trying to tell me something? 6/10

4) Heart of the Sunrise, live version - Yes. Best live song ever by the best band ever. I'd pee in my pants if they weren't made of rubber. 11/10 (yes, you read that right; I took it to 11)

5) 2nd Impression - ELPantload. Aha! Take that, playa haters! You people think Tori Anus invented the rockin' piano solo? think again. 8/10

6) Frogs - Alice in Chains. Didn't I have this one last week? Great songs, although it really doesn't have much to do with frogs or french people. 9/10

7) Hooker with a Penis - Tool. What a great song! Gotta love it when a band calls their fans "dumbf*cks". 10/10

8) Cherokee - Europe. No piece of artistic expression has ever so beautifully and poignantly depicted the plight of Native Americans. I'm tearing up here. 9/10

9) New Damage - Soundgarden. Good, but not great. Even I think Cornell's screamy voice gets old sometimes. 6/10

10) Jesus Hands - Jerry Cantrell. Great tune from Alice in Chain's axeman. I wish he hadn't cut his flowing locks of golden hair. I mean, this guy rocks like a moldy bear! 8/10

Wow, this may be the best FRT ever!I pity the fools who post after me.

ORF said...

T-hous, in Otto's defense, that concert in CP was definitely NOT free, tho many are. Unless Otto just sat on the grass outside the bandshell and listened-didn't-see. Either way, I'm insanely jealous. BUT BUT BUT I am going to the Killers tonight in Jones Beach and seeing Interpol, New York Dolls, Ordinary Boys, the Killers (again) and Tegan and Sara tomorrow at Across the Narrows, so I cannot be too too jealous now can I? AND, I got THAT ticket for free.

Ok, enough with the bragging. Here's my list. A right good one and now Bob Marley's on my 'pod, so I'd say Friday is starting out right.

1: Good Morning-Talib Kweli 8/10
A sweet irony. I love this man. Someday, I will have his babies.

2: Jolly Mon (live)-Jimmy Buffett 8/10
Judge if you must, but I also love this man. But do not desire any parrot-headed babies.

3: S.O.S.-Abba 6/10
Undeniably worth shaking the booty for, but not so guilty as BeeGees...eesh!

4: Another Souvenir-The Connells 10/10
THERE they are, Mrs. T!!! Way to come through, boys.

5: Date With the Night-The Yeah Yeah Yeahs 4/10
Karen O kind of annoys me and there are stronger tracks on this album.

6: Down The Highway-Bob Dylan 5/10 Meh. I may be speaking blasphemy here as far as my brother is concerned: I like Bob, but not unconditionally so.

7: New Year's Day-U2 9/10
I think this is one of their best songs ever. And from their best time period before they got all wrapped up in their dark eyewear for Popmart, et al.

8: Concerto Grosso in D Major-George Freidrich Handel 7/10
It's pretty. But I fast forwarded.

9: Hummingbird-Wilco 9/10
This song just makes me happy. Again, it's a good Friday

10: All or Nothing at All-Frank Sinatra 7/10
Old Blue Eyes just has a way with everything he does. If the rest of my random tracks weren't popping up so pleasingly, I'd switch over to this for the day.

The next one to come up was War by OutKast and it's only gotten better because we're now to Depeche Mode and "Dream On." This was a pretty solid FRT. I think my iPod is just spinning pleasing songs because the battery is about to die and it knows it.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

Allright kids. Sit back and suck on my lameness. I promise I'll tap your shoulder before I'm through.

1) Based on a True Story - Ms. Trinti. I'm pretty sure I got this from a free itunes download. It's good enough to keep, but not to share. 6/10

2) Woo Hoo - The 5678s. This is from the Kill Bill soundtrack, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, even before it appeared in incredibly annoying commercials. 4/10

3) Things Never Shared - Dough Marsch. Okay, now we're hitting some quality. From the not nearly huge enough Built to Spill's frontman. 8/10

4) Jacqueline - Franz Ferdinand. Overhyped band that I like anyway. 8/10

5) Fighting for it All - Mindy Smith. This is a free download that I got from somewhere. A great country tune. 8/10

6) The body Burned Away - Songs Ohia. Man, these guys appear every week. It's like my itunes likes them as much as I do. 9/10

7) It Kills - Stephen Malkmus. I think a few weeks ago I called this album mediocre, but it's really grown on my the way that Pavement did a long time ago. For some reason this guy reminds me of them. 8/10

8) Blue Collar Man (Jam Version) - Styx/REO Speedwagon. THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!!! A LIVE VERSION OF BLUE COLLAR MAN WITH BOTH STYX AND THE WAGON!!! THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO TAKE MY SHIRT OFF AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS!!! 10/10

9) The Deeper In - Drive-by Truckers. Oh, man, what a letdown. From Styx to a depressing song about incest. Boo! 4/10

10) Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto - James Brown. Okay, a little out of season, but it is random, right? One of the greatest Christmas albums ever made ranking right up there with Neil Diamond's Christmas Album Volume II. 9/10

Oh, baby, sorry. I got caught up in the moment and forgot to tap your shoulder. Next time will be different, I swear.

alex supertramp said...

orf, I for one am so jealous...very nice line-up of shows and great FRT, while I don't want to bear his children Talib is a fine specimen and Buffett is the shit, or smokes the shit, or something and ohhhh those connells --....thrillh, I loved the tori anus line, but dude, WTF - marcy playground???? AND YOU gave them a 6????

Otto Man said...

Anyone else deeply creeped out by I-Rod's closing comments?

Otto Man said...

ORF, I'm going to be at that Across the Narrows show myself. I've never braved the wilderness of Staten Island before, but this is worth the risks.

Keep an eye out for me. That's an actual photo above.

alex supertramp said...

between I-rod's comment and orf's milkshake I'm kinda worked up for a great weekend...although I do sorta feel the need for a shower....

ORF said...

Otto, I'll put my heat-seeking missile goggles on to spot you. I do NOT look like that little guy in my icon photo, it would be kind of cool if I did. I'll probably be in a blue t-shirt that says Ali vs. Berbick December 1981 on it. Do not ask me WHY I have already picked out what I'm going to wear, I just had a moment of inspiration here at the computer...

I too am a Staten Island virgin and I'm almost more excited to take that damned ferry than go to the concert itself. This is awful to admit since I've lived in this town for over seven years!!!!

Supertramp, you have no IDEA how awesome it is to meet another Connells fan. I swear, just about ANY of their songs could come up and I'd give it a ten for merely existing. You're also the second Buffett fan I've met in as many days so that is some nice vindication. You should see the eyerolls and guffaws I get from some of my friends in this town. Fucking snobs!

Otto Man said...

I'll keep an eye out for you ORF.

As usual, I'll be attending the concert wearing nothing more than a jock strap and a winning smile.

alex supertramp said...

so now the thought of otto in a jockstrap (and requisite winning smile) is burned into my brain and I REALLY need that shower, but for totally different reasons...orf, I hear ya on the Buffett front, I catch mucho flack, luckily don't give a shit so that helps -- and I spent far too many hours hanging with the Connells to totally agree with the 10/10 statement...personal highlight, stoned out of my soul in hotlanta at Lakeview and they come out with trumpets blaring for "choose a side" as the moon rises, damn, now I need another shower.....

alex supertramp said...

i just read my comment and I was very unclear -- what i meant to say was, that I totally agree with the 10/10 rule on the connells....I might be dating myself a bit but the same would probably be said of Guadalcanal Diary...

BuffaloTheory.org said...

I-rod, the whole Mindy Smith album is great. It ends with a cover of Dolly Parton's "Jolene" with D.P. doing backup vocals. The song is sung from the perspective of a woman pleading with Jolene to not steal her man and I have a lot of fun imagining Jennifer Aniston singing it as "Jolie" in the SNL in my mind, which makes a great song and makes it better.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

BT, thanks for the Mindy Smith tip. I may pick up that album. I know Jolene well. It will have to be a helluva cover for it to match The White Stripes' version though (see last week's FRT).

And there will be no more Dave Brubeck bashing on this thread. How can you dis Time Out? Sure, 75% of the tunes are used in car commercials, but the same can be said of Bob Seeger, and nobody can say anything bad about him, right?

InanimateCarbonRod said...

Uh, never mind about the Brubeck thing. That's in another thread.

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

Evidence that I still have many more CD’s to upload—the artists are the same as usual. I could use some Connells and Cure and Zeppelin, among others. First, though, will come the X-mas music. Stores are decked with boughs of holly, so it must be time.

1) Someone’s Got It In for Me, James – How cheeky it is to name one of your albums “Millionaires”! 7/10
2) Waltzing Along (live), James – They also put this on a DVD readable in the States! Well, that was cool in the days before region-free players. 8/10

3) Myxomatosis. (Judge, Jury & Executioner.), Radiohead – What’s that, Thom? 7/10
4) Exile, Enya – Dreamlike loveliness. 8/10
5) Looking at the Sun, Matthew Sweet – Listenable only if going through lots of CD’s while doing lots of hours of homework. And I’m not doing homework. 6/10

6) Everything Counts, Depeche Mode – The purge worked! We’re down to one by DM this week. Anyway, I’ve always wondered why they sing about a graph. I make the darn things at work, and I haven’t found anything to sing about. 7/10
7) This and That, Michael Penn – There’s more to this CD than that “Romeo in black jeans” song. 7/10

8) The Gloaming. (Softly Open Our Mouths in the Cold.), Radiohead – I still don’t understand you, Thom! Stop mumbling, and start singing! 7/10
9) Miss Clare Remembers, Enya – Haven’t heard this one before! Gotta love piano pieces. They make me feel like practicing again, but then I don’t. 7/10
10) Heavens, James – This is from one of my most-listened-to albums in high school. It all began at a Soup Dragons concert... 8/10

What's better than having 3 James songs? Having 4 of them! Maybe next week.

Otto Man said...

3 James, 2 Enya, 2 Radiohead. How many albums do you all own? You should've registered at Sam Goody's when you got married.

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

Hey now! I've just been slow with uploading all my CD's. You gotta have a lot to have one with just Henry VIII songs. Yeah, he wrote songs in addition to killing wives, and someone thought it would be neat to record all of them. And it's actually not that bad.