Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Let He With a Free Hand Cast the First Stone

Beseiged by hurricanes, terrorists, deficits and an ongoing disaster in Iraq, what is the Bush administration focusing on? Porn.
The FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. And it's looking for a few good agents.

Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III.

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."
Sweet Jeebus. I thought this sort of stupidity went away when we got rid of boobie-hiding, porno-hating John Ashcroft as Scourgeon General. But it looks like Alberto Gonzales is going to continue the War on Onanism.

Awesome. I can't wait to see the perp walks for this little exercise in law enforcement. Actually, I can't wait to hear the rationale. Exactly what law is being broken here? And, no, a verse from the Book of Hebrews doesn't count. Something in the U.S. Criminal Code, I mean.

Hey, remember when conservatives wanted the government out of your lives?


InanimateCarbonRod said...

You know the old saying: get the government out of my drinking water and into my bedroom!

Thrillhous said...

Let's see, the War on Terror called for invading a country that hadn't attacked us. Does that mean the War on Porn will call for invading Utah?

InanimateCarbonRod said...

So wallowing in your own filth while on a dog leash is NOT okay according to Gonzalez? Flip-flop.

BuffaloTheory.org said...

My guess is that the Attorney General is either overcompensating for his stepson Jared's stint as a Hustler web consultant or going after him for all those "You're not my real father" comments.

Studiodave said...

What is this porn I hear about? Is it available on the internet? It is difficult to find and control?

Would Rod's photo be constituted as "obscene"?

I know Thillhous looks like something's going on down below.

Otto Man said...

I think Gonzo is overcompensating, but it's probably an effort to appeal to the Religious Right and make himself palatable as a Supreme Court choice.

He'll be blaming gays for Hurricane Rita any day now.

Mr Furious said...

The gov't can have my porn when they pry it from my cold, dead—er, warm, slippery... uh, never mind.

Otto Man said...

So wallowing in your own filth while on a dog leash is NOT okay according to Gonzalez? Flip-flop

Lord, that's funny.