Friday, September 09, 2005
Friday Random Ten
For those of you who thought that South Park broke new ground in the entertainment industry with its heartbreaking chronicle of gay dog Sparky, and his adventures on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride, this album is proof that gay dogs have had a presence in the industry for decades. In fact, it's a well-known fact that all the great dog stars of Hollywood were, in fact, homosexuals. Benji? Gay. Rin Tin Tin? Flaaaaaming. Lassie? Canadian. (Sometimes it's hard to tell.)
Alright, it's time for the Friday Random Ten. Take out your iPod, set it on iRandom, and give us the first ten iTunes that pop out. And if you think you're man enough -- or woman enough, or child enough -- to handle the Coolness Self-Audit, go ahead and do that on the standardized zero-to-ten scale. A zero is downright Lawrence Welkian, while a ten should be so cool it frightens small children. (No going to eleven, Nigel Tufnel.)
1. Tom Scott, "Gotcha" -- Believe it or not, you all know this tune. It was the pimped-out theme song to the original "Starsky and Hutch." Listening to it makes me believe that I, too, drive a cherry-red, souped-up 1974 Ford Torino and that I, too, get to hang with supercool Detective Ken Hutchinson and superfly informant Huggy Bear. And that, for a brief moment, makes me supercool too. 10/10
2. Beck, "Farewell Ride" -- Off his latest and maybe his best album, Guero. I saw him play a tiny little club in Manhattan right before it came out, and I do believe he blew the doors off that motherfucker. Phenomenal show. 7/10
3. De La Soul, "Peas Porridge Hot" -- One of my favorite hiphop groups, but this is a mediocre tune off a mediocre album. 6/10
4. The Bee Gees, "Night Fever" -- Yeah. Not cool. Next. 3/10
5. Allen Toussaint, "Get Out of My Life Woman" -- Nice to see a New Orleans legend make the FRT this week. (Norbizness had a nice tribute last Friday to other New Orleans legends, by the way.) It's a great song on its own, but the fact that Slick Rick, Biz Markie and the Beastie Boys all sampled it, well, that takes its coolness factor, cuts it in half, and then doubles it! 10/10
6. Zero 7, "Red Dust" -- Not one of the best songs off Simple Things, but decent enough ambient. So good that the song usually plays a minute or so before I realize it's on. And as we all know, lurking in the background is cool. Or a sign of stalking. I forget which. 6/10
7. The Replacements, "Treatment Bound" -- Not the most rockin' tune of the Mats' repertoire, but if a band ever had an appropriate theme song, this is it. 6/10
8. Stevie Wonder, "Living for the City" -- Seven minutes of synthesized soul. This was Stevie Wonder near the peak of his funkiness, before the sad years when he was blackmailed into recording songs like "My Cherie Amour." Seriously. How else do you explain it? 8/10
9. Chiapet, "Don't You Want Me, Baby" -- From Freedom of Choice, a compilation that fought for reproductive rights in the traditional way -- by recruiting indie rock bands and having them record '80s hits. The novelty of covering a Human League hit was pretty big back in the salad days of the early 1990s, but upon further review, this one doesn't have much staying power. 5/10
10. Blackalicious, "Blazing Arrow" -- Phenomenal hiphop that moves at a blistering speed. The opening lines are "Amazin phase your days your hazy ways my Blazing Arrow / The rays that range from Asia way to Rio De Janeiro" and it only picks up speed from there. 9/10
Alright, that gives me a barely passing grade of 7.0. Whew. I'd hate to be held back in Cool School. Or maybe that makes you cooler? So hard to tell.
Before I go, here's a little Friday musical treat. TV on the Radio have recorded a tribute to President Bush, called "Dry Drunk Emperor." If you love great music and great Bush-bashing, this song's for you. Both the mp3 and lyrics are available here.
Drop your own Friday Random Ten in the comments, with or without the Coolness Self-Audit. Think you've got the stones? Bring it on!