Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Gimme an F!

The fine people over at McSweeney's have uncovered George W. Bush's report card from his senior year at Andover:
Advanced Biology: C

George sits in the back row and frequently interrupts my lectures with snickers and giggles. During our discussion of the reproductive cycle of the fruit fly, he walked to the front of the room, told the class to "earmuff it," and attempted to cover my mouth. We have discussed at great length the situation with the dissection of the fetal pig, but George caused another commotion in the classroom when he decided to throw all the Arthropoda out the window so they could "break the shells of tyranny and give birth to democracy." After much consideration, I've decided I won't let George turn his back to me during my lectures on the flora and fauna of the Galápagos, and he is not allowed to refer to Darwin's Beagle as "the Snoopy ship."
There's a lot more. Look upon his might and despair!


Thrillhous said...

I love the "withdrawn" course selections.

Otto Man said...

Agreed. It's such a better comedic choice than giving him an F. Just highlights the noble tradition of people pulling him out of his failures.