Sen. Felix Allen Cuts and Runs -- from a Guy in a Macacca Suit?

Senator Felix has always billed himself as Badass in Chief. He rides horses, he throws footballs, he eats red meat (especially filet mignon or other frenchly prepared boeuf). A few years back, at a republican event, he bravely incited the crowd with "Let’s enjoy knocking their [democrats] soft teeth down their whiny throats." Yep, badass all around.

So I was a bit surprised to read, via Kos, that Felix cut and run from his own campaign events in Staunton, a small town in western VA (a Felix stronghold):

STAUNTON — Sen. George Allen gave the slip to protesters, supporters and city officials today, bypassing an afternoon stop in downtown Staunton for an unannounced lunch break at a local drive-in restaurant.

The last-minute change in plans came minutes after a man identifying himself as a University of Virginia law school student broke in front of reporters at an event at Staunton’s Holiday Inn, forcefully asking the senator, “Have you ever used the word n-----?”

He also questioned why Allen, a one-term Republican senator and former governor, had once displayed a noose in his office.

That's right, the guy who enjoys knocking the soft teeth of dems down their whiny throats cut and run from a soft-toothed, whiny-throated dem. A freakin' law school student, at that.

Okay, that's not fair. The soft-toothed whiny fellow was only part of the horrific menace Felix faced. He also had to contend with the primal, Jungian fear shared by all humans, a nearly unmentionable terror that would make Atilla the Hun mess his pants, or whatever it is that Huns wore: a guy dressed up as a monkey. And not just any monkey, a sandal-wearing one. Oh, how many H.P. Lovecraft tales ended with this dread menace rising from the ochre, blasting the sanity of all who gaze on it's baleful furryness and comfortable footwear?

I guess it's really no surprise, then, that Felix turned tail and scurried off to the hide in the comforting bosom of a French fry joint, just like he did for the entire Vietnam war (actually, he spent the war heroically protecting dude ranches in Nevada). I just hope his campaign staff knows the Heimlich manuver, cuz I think he's about to choke on his own soft teeth.