Monday, August 29, 2005

Communication Breakdown

For those of you who've been taking part in the ongoing LLatPoN office pool over which CNN personality would be the first to follow the bold example of Novakula and have an on-air breakdown, I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner.

Sadly, none of the bloggers here have won.

Studio Dave thought it was going to be Lou Dobbs who snapped first, wrapping a bandana around his head, raising a rifle and calling on all his viewers to join him at the Arizona border to stop the deluge of illegal aliens and Islamofascists rolling over and heading towards suburban Tempe. But it wasn't Lou.

Thrillhous put his money on Daryn Kagan. Given the fact that she's dating Rush Limbaugh and has, in all likelihood, not only seen him completely naked but also actually consummated the relationship, well, a mental breakdown seemed a good bet. But, no, not her.

Inanimate Carbon Rod thought it might be Larry King. Apparently, Larry does nothing else during commercial breaks but break wind, so he's already shunned the normal rules of decorum. Could you really blame him for losing it during his 109th episode on the Natalee Holloway case? And yet, it wasn't him.

As for me, I had my money on Wolf Blitzer. I thought the pressure of the Situation Room and all the responsibilities that come with such an imaginary playground might just cause him to snap. But then again, Wolf hasn't been making sense, or acting like a journalist, for years now. How would we tell?

In the end, despite these excellent candidates -- and more! -- the winner of the CNN On-Air Breakdown is actually a bit player, Weatherman Chad Myers. As seen in this clip from Crooks and Liars, Myers has a bit of a hissy fit while giving the weather, shouting at the anchor to let him finish and even throwing his papers to the ground.

It's both hilarious and sad, like the suicide of a clown.

Anyway, if you're holding a claim ticket for the tattered remains of Chad Myers, please let us know. Once we've confirmed the claim, we'll quickly send along your Grand Prize -- a tour of Mr. and Mrs. Thrillhous's unfinished basement and a year's supply of Turtle Wax.


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