Thursday, August 11, 2005

Destro 2008


GOP Presidential Candidate Destro and potential running-mate
Cobra Commander campaigning at an area Sbarro's


If you weren't already looking forward to the 2008 presidential race, here are a few things that ought to get your motor running.

First, Bob Woodward is speculating that it's "highly likely" that we'll see Dick Cheney run in 2008 in order to carry on the administration's excellent adventure. Not only would a Cheney candidacy keep voters focused on the last throes of the current administration's screw-ups, but it would also prevent the White House from rallying around a more appealing candidate -- say, someone who does not resemble Destro from the old "G.I. Joe" cartoons in both appearance and attitude.

Second, Jerry Falwell has sounded the early notes of a jihad, urging his lemmings followers to "vote Christian" in 2008. If Falwell keeps it up, we can be assured that the other luminaries of the Religious Right will enter the fray too, just to keep up, and in so doing, put the spotlight on their control of the GOP. Their involvement should also help a loony like Santorum make headway in the primaries.

Taken together, we have the likelihood of chaos in the GOP primaries, resulting in a bruising final battle between Cheney and Santorum. Not only would that be hilarious to watch, it could also spell trouble for the party as a whole. Which politician best represents the heart of the Republican Party? The cranky, old, corporate money, chickenhawk asshole? Or the crazy, pompous religious freak? The door to the Democratic Party is open to anyone who'd rather not be part of that Big Tent circus.

Update: Thanks to Yossarian in the comments, I've just been reminded that Cobra Commander has already laid the groundwork for the 2008 campaign with his own ads from 2004. Click here to take a look.

7 comments:

Thrillhous said...

Wow, hadn't thought about Destro in awhile. You know, a talking gun is a pretty good icon for the GOP: violent, babbling, but otherwise impotent.

Speaking of impotent, I don't see Cheney running in '08. The guy's got more negatives than phosphate, and health would be a bigger issue for him than it would be for Bob "I've fallen and I can't get elected" Dole.

I'm still hoping Santorum runs, though. That would be a thing of beauty.

Otto Man said...

Yeah, I think Woodward is once again talking out of his ass, but a boy can dream, can't he?

Yossarian said...

Cobra Commander '08

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2463

Studiodave said...

It will be interesting to see how the GOP primaries handle the Iraq question. You can't be too negative because Bush will not support your run. You can't be too positive because (now) a majority of the people would question your intelligence and logic.

If I were the Dean folks in DC, I would play a continuous loop of the other day's press conference where the General was signaling - no end in sight, local troops not ready, possibly bleeding into larger Iran issue.

PS - in a separate press conference, Iran moves forward on the bomb. N Korea wears t-shirt to conference that says "Suck It" with arrow pointed down.

Yossarian said...

I have said for quite a while that Jeb Bush will run in '08. I believe that the reason W sent him to across waters after the tsunami disaster was to give him cred on the international scene.

His father gave his ex-presidential seal of approval last month for Jeb :
http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/05/31/bush.plug/

Just be ready for ridiculous stickers with the letter "J"

Otto Man said...

I thought that ever since Lamar! Alexander faded from presidential campaigns, that Jeb had the sole claim on the exclamation mark sticker -- "Jeb!"

If 2008 shapes up to be Clinton vs. Bush, I may shoot myself. No more dynasties, please.

Mrs_Thrillhous said...

It's like the video store was empty except for Troll and Gigli. With a little luck, someone might find Batman, but Teen Wolf will do.

D├Žstro all the way! (but only if he promises not to team up with the Joes. that's always annoying.)