Monday, August 22, 2005

Who Would Jesus Assassinate?

Courtesy of Media Matters, we're happy to present the latest installment of Pat Robertson's Ongoing Breakdown™.

For those of you who enjoyed past chapters -- such as his claim that his prayers averted Hurricane Gloria or his joint suggestion with Jerry Falwell that the responsibility for 9/11 lay with "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU," etc. -- you'll be glad to know that Pat is doing his best to top all that with his Craziest Comment Ever.

Courtesy of Media Matters, which has a nice video clip here:
ROBERTSON: There was a popular coup that overthrew him [Chavez]. And what did the United States State Department do about it? Virtually nothing. And as a result, within about 48 hours that coup was broken; Chavez was back in power, but we had a chance to move in. He has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent.

You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop. But this man is a terrific danger and the United ... This is in our sphere of influence, so we can't let this happen. We have the Monroe Doctrine, we have other doctrines that we have announced. And without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.

Just to recap, that's Reverend Pat Robertson -- a man who claims to be following the example of Jesus Christ -- advocating the cold-blooded assassination of an elected political leader, just so this country can get its hands on some cheap gasoline.

It's at times like these that I like to recall the simple country wisdom of Billy Carter. As he said, "Some Christians deserve to get eaten by lions."

7 comments:

alex supertramp said...

crisy christians -- burned by hell-fire and finger lickin' good .. new on the .99 menu at KFC (kill fuckin' chavez)

alex supertramp said...

umm that should be "crispy" christians -- great, now due to my poor grammar slash proofreading skills I'm probably next on Robertson's list of "alternative lifestyle" interlopers and will have to be summarily executed by the good ol US of A......

Otto Man said...

You know, Harlan Sanders was so crazy and right-wing that the initials just might mean that.

InanimateCarbonRod said...

I wonder if this falls under the "render unto Caesar" section of Jesus' teachings.

BuffaloTheory.org said...

I'm pretty sure Jesus assassinated McKinley and he wasn't even brown.

Norbizness said...

Otto: Since you don't have a functioning e-mail address, are you shitting me about the CNN thing?

Otto Man said...

Norbizness, I swear on the grave of Kirk Cameron -- your Robertson post was, in fact, highlighted on Wolf Blitzer's "Inside the Blog" segment just before 4:00pm EST.

Whether that's a good thing or not, well, I leave it up to you.